The Contest
by cell12
Summary: A firmly-in-the-closet Kyle is about to get sucked into one of Cartman's money-making schemes. Kyman.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**By Cell12**

Kyle had known he was gay even before his bar mitzvah but never had the courage to do anything about it. Too scared of the hate and insults he would receive, he had stayed firmly in the closet. At that time he had a huge crush on his super best friend, Stan but he knew that it would never happen. He had to suffer all the endless conversations about girls and Wendy in particular. Stan was torturing him without even realising.

When Stan finally lost his virginity - to Wendy of course - Kyle was the first to hear about it. A piece of Kyle's heart was broken that day and he spent the rest of that weekend alone in his room, crying.

Kenny was never really considered crush-worthy by Kyle. For one he liked the ladies way to much to be gay and for two he was a man-whore. Kyle wanted a relationship, someone to love and be with - not meaningless sex.

With his two closest friends out of consideration, Kyle resigned himself to remaining a virgin until college. There wasn't anyone else in town Kyle could trust enough to reveal his biggest secret to. He hadn't even got as far as telling Stan or Kenny.

The other guy he hung out with, Eric Cartman, Kyle didn't even consider him a friend - more someone who he barely tolerated. If Cartman found out Kyle was gay he would make the Jewish boy's life hell.

The main reason though that Kyle remained in the closet was his mother. Of course Kyle being gay was the complete opposite to her plans - she expected Kyle to marry a nice Jewish girl and make her lots of grandchildren.

With everything considered, Kyle felt his decision to just stick to internet porn and his hand was for the best. The few girls who were interested in him he fended off by sticking to the whole Jewish thing. Although every time he turned Bebe down - she usually asked him out at least once a term - it always got a huge laugh from the Fat-ass.

Apart from the lack of any sort of love life - Kyle was happy or as happy as he could be in a life where he wasn't allowed to make any decisions.

Unfortunately something happened that completely changed the way Kyle thought about things.

* * *

Eric Cartman ran down the street clutching a large manilla envelope in his hands. He was only slightly out of breath as he hurried towards the Jew's house. Kyle Broflovski, his nemesis, the annoying Jiminy Cricket that tried to act as his conscience. If he had been Pinocchio, he'd have flicked the bug off his shoulder and stood on it.

Eric had reached the front door and he paused, to calm himself, before pressing the doorbell. He had to act nice. He needed Kyle for his latest money-making scheme. He had prepared his arguments before-hand. He knew Kyle so well and he knew which buttons to press to get the daywalker to go along with his plan. Eric started to break out into a grin but caught himself just in time. If he had timed this right, Kyle would be alone and that would give him the chance to talk him into the plan.

The sound of the doorbell caught Kyle by surprise. He was not expecting anyone. Stan was shopping at the mall with Wendy, Kenny was on a road-trip to Vegas with his brother and the Fat-ass - well the Fat-ass never bothered him unless he either wanted something from him or wanted to do something to him.

Sadly for Kyle, this time, it was both.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** One of the many stories I've been working on - I've got about 4 chapters of this already written, I'll post them as soon as they're typed up._


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**By Cell12**

**Chapter2**

Kyle opened the front door and saw Cartman trying to wipe a grin off his face. Inwardly he groaned, the Fat-ass was up to something and he was about to get sucked into the vortex of Cartman's new scheme.

"What do you want, Cartman?" Kyle asked. there was no point in antagonising his enemy - yet.

"Why Kahl," Cartman was in full greasy charm mode, "aren't I allowed to pay a call on one of my closest friends?"

Kyle nearly laughed in the fat boy's face. Even Cartman should know how stupid that sounded. "Come in," Kyle decided to hear the Fat-ass out. the sooner he got it over with, the sooner he could get on with his life.

As Cartman stepped past Kyle, Kyle noticed the envelope that his 'friend' was carrying, "What's that?" He asked.

"All in good time," Cartman replied as he moved over to the sofa and sat down, "a drink would be nice."

"I don't think so Fat-ass," Kyle was already pissed off, "now tell me what you want."

"Kahl, why do you always assume that I want something?" Kyle glared at Cartman, "OK, so this time I want something - but why do you have to think that it's something bad?"

"I know you Cartman," Kyle answered, "it's always something bad."

"Is a plan to make us both fifty thousand dollars richer bad?"

Kyle looked at Cartman - he seemed serious, "I'm not doing anything illegal, Fat-ass."

"Did I say illegal," Cartman tried to sound indignant, "I'm talking about a genuine competition with a first prize of one hundred thousand dollars for us to share."

"Don't talk stupid, Cartman," Kyle counted off with his fingers, "You're stupid, so any sort of quiz is pointless and you're fat so sporting competitions are out of the question. That only leaves talent shows and you, sadly, don't have any."

Cartman seethed at Kyle's insults but maintained his calm demeanour.

"Of course there are reality shows," Kyle continued, "bet even you can't fake being nice and decent twenty four/seven."

"Have you finished insulting me Kahl?" Cartman asked.

"For now, Fat-ass."

Cartman toyed with the flap of the manilla envelope, "As you may have seen on TV the state of Colorado has been having some negative publicity recently regarding its treatment of the ghay community."

Kyle answered warily, "I've seen the news reports," there had been protests in Denver. Gay rights was a hot political topic right now.

"Well," Cartman took a deep breath, "in order to carry favour with the electorate - and to not look like a complete bigot - the governor of Colorado decided to introduce an annual competition to find the best ghay couple in the state."

"I've seen the TV ads," Kyle said warily.

Cartman smiled condescendingly, "The first annual Colorado Ghay Couples Contest. Personally I don't think there'll be one next year."

* * *

_**Arthors Note:** Yes it's short but I'm loading up Chapter 3 at the same time._


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 3**

"You can't be seriously wanting to enter that contest Cartman," Kyle was nervous. Had Cartman found out that he was gay? Was Cartman setting up some elaborate scheme to mess with him?

"Why, the hell, not?" The fat boy asked.

"Well firstly, you're not gay," Kyle said.

"I can fake it," Cartman fired back.

"Secondly you're not in a couple," Kyle paused after answering. He had finally noticed the predatory look the Fat-ass was giving him, "No Cartman," he said, "I won't help you defraud the organisers of an innocent competition."

"But Kahl, think about the money. Jews love money - they'll do anything too get it," Cartman said with sincerity.

Kyle seethed, "I'm not so desperate for money that I would lower myself in public by pretending to date you."

"And what's so bad about me Kahl?" Cartman sounded indignant.

"Other than the fact that you're a fat socio-path who has spent his whole life trying to make me miserable?"

"Kahl, Kahl you know that you're to blame for all the hate and arguments between us."

"What!" Kyle could barely believe what the fat-ass had just said.

"And despite all that - and the fact that you're Jewish," Cartman smiled as he continued, "I'm willing to put everything aside to work with you."

"I'm sick of your insulting stereotypes," Kyle clenched his fists, "I'm not the one who's wanting to defraud a contest."

"The money could pay for us to go to college," Cartman tried to convince.

"I don't need it Fat-ass," Kyle sounded confident, "I'm smart enough to get a scholarship."

"But what about me?" Cartman asked. "This is my only chance to go to college. Unlike you, I don't have scholarships lined up or a rich daddy to pay for everything."

Kyle looked at the Fat-ass with contempt, "I don't give a shit about you Cartman. Get a job and work your way through college."

Cartman quietly murmured an insult under his breath, "I wasn't going to bring this up - I thought that you would be willing to help a friend - but what about Stan and Kenneh?"

"Eh?" Kyle was taken off guard by the question.

"Stan was counting on a football scholarship to go to college and you know what happened," Cartman was staring Kyle down.

Kyle knew that his best friend had been having an awful run of bad luck. First his shoulder accident, then all the trouble with his sister. His parents were pretty much up to their eyeballs in debt paying off the medical bills for Stan and the legal bills from Shelly.

"And Kenneh had no chance of going to college unless we help him," Cartman continued.

Cartman was right again. Kenny was bright but the combination of him taking time off school, to work two jobs, and his poor background meant that college hadn't ever been an option for him.

"Kenny's OK with not going to college," Kyle said - not believing the answer himself.

Cartman looked at Kyle with disgust, "Kenneh is resigned to not going to college. If he had a chance, I know he would jump at it."

"So why don't you enter the contest with Kenny or Stan?"

Cartman shook his head, "The organisers do a background check on all the contestants. They'd soon find out that Kenneh and Stan aren't ghay."

"And I am," Kyle was worried, did Cartman know his secret?

"You've never really dated anyone Kahl," Cartman grinned, "so it won't be hard for everyone to believe that you're ghay."

Kyle couldn't help but see the sick logic in what Cartman was saying, "So how does you getting money help Kenny and Stan?" Kyle knew how selfish the Fat-ass was.

"As well as the money, the prize also includes a five year lease on a two bed apartment in Denver," Cartman also added, 'and a luxury car,' in his head.

"Go on," Kyle was being sucked in despite himself.

"If you use your share of the money to pay their college fees, Stan and Kenneh could get part-time jobs to cover their living expenses. It wouldn't take much with no rent to pay."

"And what about your share of the money Fat-ass?" Kyle asked.

"I would have my own college fees to pay," Cartman sounded indignant.

"And the rest?" Kyle pressed.

"There are a lot of other expenses that come with living on your own, Kahl," Cartman held out his chubby hand and started counting off with his fingers - mocking the way Kyle had done the same earlier, "furniture, utility bills, transport, medical insurance - it all adds up."

"And you'll use your share of the money to pay for all of those," Kyle's voice sounded distrusting, "you never do anything for anyone but yourself."

"I know that you're looking forward to college Kahl," Cartman stared at him, "but how would it really feel knowing that your three friends are missing out? Wouldn't it be better if you could share the experience with your closest friends. It would be like having a sleepover every night."

Cartman's sleepover comparison was stupid but everything else he'd said made a lot of sense. "Even if I agreed to this Fat-ass," Kyle couldn't believe that he was even considering the idea, "the chances of winning are so small. Is it worth humiliating ourselves for such small odds?"

"The odds aren't that small," Cartman finally removed the contents of the envelope he was clutching, "I've already taken the liberty of entering us in the contest and we're past the pre-selection round."

"What!"

"There was no point in even asking you if we didn't make it through to the televised stages," Cartman shrugged, "since we have, I think that we're in with a good chance."

Despite himself, Kyle was being sucked into Cartman's scheme, "What would you have done if I'd refused outright?"

"If I couldn't convince you, I guess I would have had to phone the contest people and tell them that we broke up."

Kyle hated the fact that Cartman had everything worked out, it was so arrogant and smug of him.

"Fine," Kyle hated that he was giving in, but Cartman was right - this was a way he could help his friends, "but I'm doing this for Stan and Kenny, not you."

"Yes," Cartman reached out towards Kyle for a second before remembering that he was a filthy daywalker and a Jew, 'Fuck I almost hugged him,' he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 4**

Kyle started looking through the contents of the envelope that Cartman had left on the coffee table.

"It says here that a film crew will be coming to South Park to film us and interview our friends and family's," Kyle pointed out, "won't they wonder why we've only just told everyone that we're a couple?"

"That's not a problem Kahl," Cartman put on his angelic smile, "we can tell them that, even though we've been together for a long while, we were scared to out ourselves because we're still in high school."

Kyle nodded - that actually sounded pretty plausible, "They'll ask why we're outing ourselves now - and if you say for the money, it won't go down too well with the judges."

"I've already thought of that," Cartman said confidently, "I had a cyber-buddy who I met in a gay-teen chat site. He killed himself because he was too scared to admit who he was to his family. We're doing the show to let gay teens know that coming out isn't necessarily the end of the world."

"Really," Kyle started before he saw the grin on Cartman's face, "shit you were convincing."

"Years of practice Kahl," Cartman shifted in his seat as he watched Kyle read more of the information.

"We'll have to tell everyone we're gay for each other," Kyle pointed out.

"Like I give a shit about what people think of me Kahl," Cartman stated, "you should know that."

"I've no problem with people thinking I'm gay Fat-ass, but if I'm gay for you people will question my sanity and my taste."

"Oy," Cartman shouted, "I'll have you know that I'm a catch. A lot of ghay guys are into chubbys, I've seen the websites."

"So you look at gay porn Cartman," Kyle snickered, "is there something that you're not telling me?"

"I was doing research Kahl," Cartman said defensively, "the more I know about the ghay lifestyle the better I can fake it."

Kyle was on a roll now, "I suppose we can show them all those cute photos and videos of you cross-dressing when you were younger."

Cartman was now the angry one, "I was confused - not having a dad and all," he said.

"I thought that you didn't care what people thought of you," Kyle reminded him, "those photos and videos might help us win."

Cartman stopped - the Jew was right - they had to be willing to do anything to win, "I've just thought, remember when we cured aids?"

"You gave me aids Fat-ass," Kyle always became annoyed when the subject was brought up.

"Remember that filmed interview we did where the person thought we were lovers?"

Kyle's eyes stretched open - he did remember it, "I'm sure the film crew could get a copy of it."

"Given all the evidence, how hard will it be Kahl, to convince people that we've been together for years?"

Kyle felt uncomfortable with Cartman's intensity, so returned his attention to the envelope's contents, "After that we're to be put up in a hotel in Denver where we'll have to do the TV studio part of the contest," Kyle read.

"Yes, that's where they'll quiz us on how well we know each other," Cartman smiled, "we should be OK there."

Kyle nodded - even though they hated each other, they had spent their whole lives together and knew each other pretty well.

"We'll have to share a bed at the hotel," Cartman said.

Kyle looked at Cartman, "Gross."

"I'm only mentioning it now so that you don't freak-out when the time comes," Cartman edged closer to Kyle and notice the Jew backing away, "we'll have to do something about that as well."

"What?" Kyle asked stupidly. He was still trying to get his head around having to share a bed with Fat-ass.

"We're supposed to be a couple, Kahl," Cartman explained - sounding slightly exasperated, "we'll have to act like a couple in public."

"Cartman?" Kyle was shocked.

"That means holding each other and snuggling together," Cartman pointed out, "we'll have to kiss as well."

"Kiss?" Kyle repeated, slightly confused.

"Kahl," Cartman spoke gently, "the only differences between kissing a guy and a girl is that a guy might have stubble or facial hair and a girl leaves make-up residue on you. Other than that it's, pretty much, the same."

"I guess," Kyle responded, feeling embarrassed.

"Look Kahl," Cartman grabbed Kyle's shoulder and turned the smaller boy to face him, "we'll have to practice all that shit so we look convincing for the cameras." Cartman continued before Kyle could speak, "I know, it's disgusting but we need to act like a real couple."

Cartman pulled Kyle towards him and mashed his mouth against Kyle's. Kyle instinctively tried to pull away, but was held in place. Eric held the kiss for ten seconds before he released the smaller boy.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Cartman's comparison of the differences between kissing a guy or a girl, clearly comes from lack of experience._

_I've got another couple of chapters written in my note book but after that, this story's priority is up to you - the readers._  
_I've got other stories I'm working on - some one-shots and a couple of multi-chapter stories. If I get lots of interest - IE, reviews - I'll focus on this story. If not, I'll switch my attention elsewhere._  
_Don't worry, I will finish this story - it's just a matter of how quickly. cell12._


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 5**

"What, the fuck, was that for," Kyle shouted angrily.

Cartman held his hands up, "Calm down Jew, I didn't like that any more that you did."

Kyle was furious, "You could have warned me."

"The first kiss was always going to be the most awkward Kahl," Cartman explained, "I just wanted it out of the way."

Kyle could understand that - if Cartman had told him what he was about to do, he would have probably punched him.

"It didn't change anything Kahl," Cartman added, "ah'm still me and you're still you."

Kyle went back to reading the paperwork, "The film crew are due here in a few days Fat-ass."

"I know that."

"It's pretty obvious that we hate each other," Kyle pointed out.

"No Kahl," Cartman said sarcastically, "that's the act we put on so people in town don't find out about our love."

Cartman pulled Kyle into his arms and started hugging him. Kyle started squirming and trying to get away.

"Stop fighting me Jew," Cartman ordered.

"Get off me Fat-ass," Kyle shouted.

"God dammit Kahl," Cartman cursed, "stop wriggling about and snuggle me."

Kyle quietened down but still held himself tense, "This feels stupid."

"Imagine you're in the arms of your favourite film star or something," Cartman suggested.

"I've never really been into celebrities," Kyle admitted.

"Well whoever you jack-off to then," Cartman replied.

Kyle thought for a second, "I don't really think of anyone when I jack-off."

"God you're such a Jew," Cartman grumbled.

"Shut up Fat-ass," Kyle answered, not noticing that he was starting to relax into Cartman's comfortable embrace.

"Do you want to practice kissing now Kahl?" Cartman asked.

"Hmm," Kyle was enjoying the moment.

Cartman pulled Kyle completely on top of himself - so their chests were pressed together. Kyle could feel how soft and comfortable it was to rest on top of his enemy's fat belly and he started to snuggle into the embrace. Cartman's arms were wrapped around him and their faces were edging closer and closer.

"Better," Cartman coaxed as he initiated the kiss.

The logical part of Kyle's brain tried to tell him that it was a fake kiss that didn't mean anything and that Cartman hated him - but something about the way the larger boy held him made Kyle melt inside.

Cartman hadn't thought that Kyle would be up for tongue kissing so soon or that it would feel so good. He tried to tell himself that this was the Jew and that he hated him but it was getting hard to think clearly.

Eventually Kyle broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, "Was that more convincing?"

Cartman was still slightly stunned from how much he had enjoyed making out with Kyle - so he said something he wouldn't normally say, "You're a good kisser Jew."


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 6**

Kyle smiled a little awkwardly, "Let's practice some more," he said leaning in to initiate their third kiss.

As they kissed their tongues wrestled - fighting for dominance. Cartman subconsciously noted how much Kyle squirmed when he used the tip of his tongue to stroke the roof of Kyle's mouth. He started doing this randomly while pulling the Jew tight against himself.

Kyle noticed how the kiss improved on the two previous. It wasn't just that they were more comfortable, it was Cartman. Eric was reacting instinctively to what Kyle liked and was working those things. Kyle could feel the Fat-asses large hand slowly circling his back - it felt wonderful and he let out a soft involuntary moan.

Shocked he pulled back and looked away, "We seem to have got that down."

"We'll still have to practice," Cartman responded, "it's another magnitude of difficulty when other people are watching."

Kyle slid back off Cartman and stood up, "How are we going to tell everyone?"

"It's best if we keep the fake-relationship stuff between just us two," Cartman answered, "the more people who know the truth, the more likely someone will let something slip."

"So we'll have to out ourselves to our family and friends as a couple?"

"Will that be a problem Kahl?"

Kyle didn't answer, instead he picked up a smaller white envelope that had been with the paperwork, "What's this?" He asked.

"That's my personal stuff," Cartman answered - sounding slightly uncomfortable, "Some photos of me and of us together - and some love-letters."

Kyle had opened the envelope and was flicking through the pictures while Cartman answered. He remembered most of the group photos being taken, there were a couple of years worth of school photos and some pictures obviously taken by Cartman's mom. Underneath were half-a-dozen letters, neatly folded.

"Don't read them now Jew," Cartman instructed sounding embarrassed, "I'll need photos of you and some letters as well."

"OK," Kyle responded - slightly stunned by the lengths Cartman was going to. He returned the letters and photos to the envelope and stuffed it into his pocket.

"The only other thing we have to do right now is decide upon our story."

"Story?" Kyle was puzzled.

"How we got together, dumb-ass," Cartman explained, "I was thinking that you begged me to go out with you and offered to suck my balls - to make up for that leprechaun bet."

"How about I took pity on you when I found you crying about your mom being a crack whore," Kyle countered.

"Fine," Cartman sighed, "we were working on a school project together and started fighting - like usual. Before we knew it we were rolling around on the floor and we just started kissing."

"I can live with that," Kyle conceded.

Cartman looked at his watch, "Your parents will be home soon and I don't want to be here when you break it to them that you're ghay and dating me." He got up and headed for the door, "If anyone asks," Eric said as he opened the door, "I'm the top in bed."

"What," Kyle exclaimed - he had followed Cartman to the door and wasn't expecting him to say that.

"We tried both ways but I prefer to give and you prefer to receive," Cartman unnecessarily explained.

Kyle's face turned red as he considered the Fat-asses remarks, "Why do I have to be bottom?" He asked.

Cartman leaned in and whispered in Kyle's ear, "Because I refuse to be," before giving the smaller boy a kiss on the cheek, "later Jew."

Kyle stood at the doorway as Cartman walked down the drive, "Eric," was all he could reply.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** That's all I had written in my notebook. I have notes written, planning what's going to happen next and maybe the first third of the next chapter. I want to write a few chapters before I update - in case I want to move parts of the story around. So, don't expect anything too soon. cell12._


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 07**

"Kyle was that Eric Cartman I saw coming out of our house?" Shelia Broflovski strode through the front door, her eyes searching the room for anything out of place.

"Mom," Kyle started to speak but stopped, she had seen the contest information, that Cartman had left, on the coffee table.

"What's this Kyle?"

Kyle didn't say anything, his mind just went blank and he was unable to speak.

Gerald Broflovski had followed his wife into the house and was starting to make his way upstairs. He paused to listen to the conversation.

Shelia had gathered up the papers and was flicking through them, not saying anything. Gerald moved over to where his wife was standing and started reading over her shoulder.

"Kyle, what is this?" Shelia asked loudly.

"It's information about a contest that Eric and I are entering," Kyle answered.

"It's a contest for homosexual people Kyle. You have to be gay to enter it," Gerald stated.

"I am gay dad," Kyle replied quietly, "Eric is my boyfriend."

Kyle had been struggling for a long time to find a way to break it to his parents that he was gay. If anything, Cartman and this contest had done him a huge favour - not that he would ever tell the Fat-ass that. He had been too scared to confront his parents for himself - but to help his friends, he had found the courage.

Kyle watched as his mom removed her coat in silence, his eyes followed her as she went into the kitchen. He turned to his dad, looking for an explanation.

"Your mother isn't ready to talk to you about this right now Kyle," Gerald said, "we love you and support you but," he paused.

"It's a difficult one - right dad?" Kyle smiled at his father.

"We've only ever wanted you to be happy Kyle," Gerald answered, "if this is who you are then we will learn to accept it - because you're an important part of our lives."

"But why isn't mom saying anything?" Kyle asked.

"It's partly disappointment," Gerald replied, "she's always talked about you getting married and making us lots of grandchildren."

Kyle knew that his mother had always wanted a bigger family - that's why they had adopted Ike, "This doesn't mean that I'll never have children."

"I know Kyle," Gerald stepped forwards with his arms wide.

Kyle pressed into his father and enjoyed the hug, "I love you dad," he said.

"So you're dating Eric eh?" Gerald raised an eyebrow, "I always thought it would be Stan or Kenny."

Kyle looked at his father, "You knew I was gay?"

"We both did really," Gerald released the hug and sat down.

Kyle sat next to him, "So why is mom so upset?"

"She always hoped we were wrong."

They both turned to look at the closed kitchen door. Kyle suspected that his mother was listening into their conversation.

"I'm not apologising for being gay," Kyle stated.

"I wouldn't want you to," Gerald was now looking through the contest details, "why are you and Eric outing yourselves just to enter a contest?"

Kyle knew how sharp his dad's mind was - he couldn't use Cartman's lie about an on-line friend, "The main prize is one hundred thousand dollars and a five year lease on an apartment. If we win we can go to college together." Kyle didn't mention that the second 'we' in his answer included Stan and Kenny.

Gerald nodded, "Have you told anyone else yet?"

Kyle shook his head, "No, I wanted to tell you and mom first."

* * *

"You're dating Cartman?" Stan asked again.

"Yes," Kyle replied.

"That makes you gay."

"Yes," Kyle again replied.

"Why?" Stan looked genuinely puzzled.

"Why am I gay or why am I dating Eric?" Kyle questioned.

"Both, I guess," Stan ran a hand through his hair - this wasn't something he had seen coming.

"I've always been gay Stan," Kyle answered, "it's not something I got to choose."

"That still doesn't tell me why Cartman," Stan sounded confused, "I'm sure there are other guys out there who would kill to date someone like you."

"Eric's special," Kyle couldn't believe he was saying this, "he's had a crappy life and his attitude is his method of dealing with things. In his own way he's a fighter - it would be so easy for him to steal some of his mother's drugs and booze and get wasted every night."

At first Kyle had been glad to get out of his house and away from his parents - his dad's subtle questioning and his mom's eerie silence - but now, now he was having to face more questions from Stan. He wondered how Cartman was doing telling his family and friends.

"So explain to me again about this competition Kyle."


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 08**

Eric, of course, had a much easier time telling his mother. He had returned home and upon seeing that she was in the kitchen he had shouted to her before bolting up the stairs, "Mom, I'm ghay and I'm dating Kahl."

Halfway to his room he had heard his mom's reply, "All-right hun."

It didn't matter what he told her he would always get the same flat, dull reaction - with a cheery voice to make it sound like she cared. It was the same voice she used on her sad clients when she told them how big they were and that they turned her on. Eric hated it, he found it sickening.

Upon entering his room, Eric flopped onto the bed. Things had gone far better than he expected with Kyle. Cartman didn't care if Kenny and Stan went to college or not, but he did care about his future. He didn't want to be some worthless hick spending his whole life in the same crappy home-town. He'd seen guys, not much older than him, miss out on college and get sucked into the job, wife and kids trap that he so desperately wanted to avoid. Guys stuck in a dead-end job to support a family they didn't really want. A large number of his mother's 'gentlemen friends' were men like that. Well that life was not for him - he wanted, no deserved, a better life and he intended to get it.

Cartman decided to wait on calling Kenny until much later. Kenny would be on Vegas time and, knowing him well, his friend would be sleeping all of the morning and most of the afternoon. The only other person he considered as a friend was Butters. Although he really only used the gullible boy as a fall-guy in his many schemes. He had considered Butters for this plan, but given the boys naivety and lack of basic common sense, he would definitely have ruined the whole thing. No, Kyle was the smarter option, the safe option. Kyle would get things right when it counted and Kyle could improvise if necessary. Besides it was more fun messing with Kyle.

He'd told Kyle the story about his gay on-line friend who had killed himself. What he hadn't told Kyle was that he had actually created a series of e-mails and traffic in a real gay teen chat-room. One side with his ISP address, the other bounced off a server in another state. Both, of course, written by him. It was this sort of attention to detail that got you ahead in life and made you a winner.

* * *

Kyle had finally managed to get away from his questioning family and Stan - he felt quite drained. He'd never known how tiring lying to people could be. It helped that Cartman was an expert on such things and had prepared him well before-hand.

As he moved to sit down he felt the envelope in his pocket pressing against him, uncomfortably. He took it out - the pictures he set to one side and looked at the letters. He still had to write some for Cartman. Kyle couldn't help but be curious about what Cartman had written to him. He opened the first letter.

**_Kyle, I know that you've been avoiding me_**  
**_for the last week after what happened._**  
**_We were fighting and somehow we ended up _**  
**_kissing. Maybe you expect some sort of _**  
**_apology but I'm not going to give you one._**  
**_I'm not sorry it happened - I liked it._**  
**_I like you - even though you are a stupid Jew._**

**_If what happened meant nothing to you,_**  
**_continue to ignore me - I'll get the message._**  
**_But if you felt excited and terrified all _**  
**_at once - like I do - then talk to me about _**  
**_it. As I said, I'm not sorry it happened._**  
**_It's all I think about._**  
**_You're all I think about._**

**_Eric T Cartman._**

Kyle flinched after reading the first letter. It was so intense. He note that Cartman's letter referred to the cover story they had agreed upon. Again the Fat-ass had presumed Kyle's agreement. Kyle was starting to wonder just how well Cartman could judge what he was thinking. How he seemed able to predict and guide Kyle's actions.

The other letters were the usual I love you gushing stuff which Kyle had expected. Cartman had gone into detail about how much he liked Kyle and why. Each letter was like a stab wound into Kyle's heart. Why couldn't he get real love-letters like this, so passionate and so amazing. If only Eric was his real... No, it did no good to think like that. He had to be strong for the contest, for Stan and Kenny.

Kyle bit his lip, he would write Cartman his letters and give them to him tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 09**

Kyle had left his house straight after breakfast, eager to get away from his family and eager to give Cartman the letters that were burning a hole in his pocket. He was surprised to find a pyjama-clad Cartman opening the door for him. He was also surprised when Cartman leaned in to kiss him gently before taking his hand and guiding him inside.

"Mah mom is in the kitchen," was all the explanation Eric gave Kyle as he lead him upstairs.

"I've got your letters," Kyle said, handing them to Cartman as they entered the bedroom.

Eric took them and quickly placed them in the drawer by the side of his bed.

"Aren't you even going to look at them?" Kyle felt unreasonably hurt. The letters that Cartman had written for him had been so sweet and loving that he had half-believed them.

Cartman raised an eyebrow and smiled, "No time for that now Kahl. My mom will be calling me down for breakfast in a few minutes."

"So what did you drag me up here for?" Kyle asked.

"I wanted you to understand," Cartman stared deep into Kyle's emerald green eyes, "we're on now Kahl. We have to keep up the act twenty-four/seven. You never know when someone is watching or listening to us."

Kyle swallowed - Cartman was talking about maintaining the fake relationship all the time, with no respite, "I understand," he acknowledged.

"From now on we can't break character," Cartman's face showed an intimidating and deep level of intensity, "we can't even talk about it, like this, when we're alone."

"What can we talk about?" Kyle was nervous about appearing too obviously fake.

"The usual stuff is fine Kahl," Cartman started unbuttoning his pyjama top, "friends, family, school, TV. We don't have to talk about our relationship and how much we love each other all the time."

Kyle was fixed in place by the sight of Cartman undressing in front of him. The chubby body look so pink and smooth and soft. It wasn't ugly or repulsive like Kyle had thought it might be. Kyle remembered how it had felt cuddling against a clothed Cartman and wondered if it felt different without clothes. Kyle mentally slapped himself, why was he drooling over Cartman and why hadn't he said anything? He managed to find his voice, "What are you doing, Fat-ass?"

"Ah'm getting ready to take a shower Kahl," Cartman paused - his hands gripped the waist of his pyjama shorts. "What," Cartman asked, "you thought that I was going to try to rape you or something?"

Kyle blushed, "No, I just wasn't expecting you to strip off in front of me."

"Well take a good look Kahl," Cartman dropped his shorts - revealing himself, "you'll be expected to know what your boyfriend looks like."

Kyles eyes were drawn to Cartman's dick - he couldn't stop staring at it, "It looks big," he squeaked.

"If anyone asks ah'm seven and a half inches hard," Cartman grabbed the towel off the bed and left the room.

Kyle stood for a moment - shell-shocked - before following, "Don't you want to know about me?"

Cartman paused as he was about to enter the bathroom, "Are you planning to strip off and let me get a good look at you?"

"No," Kyle immediately answered, although he found the idea strangely exciting.

"How big are you?" Cartman asked.

Kyle swallowed, "Six and a quarter inches, and not as fat as you either," he saw Cartman's face when he used the word fat, "sorry - well girthed."

"Any birthmarks I should know about?"

Kyle shook his head, "No."

"That should be enough for me to bluff my way around any questions," the Fat-ass retreated into the bathroom and shut the door.

Kyle stood there, contemplating whether to return to Cartman's bedroom or go downstairs. Part of him wanted to wait in the bedroom - just so he could see Cartman naked some more. The other part - the sane part - wanted to flee out of the house and pretend none of this had ever happened.

Just then the bathroom door swung back open. Cartman leaned across the door, revealing his wet and glistening upper torso, "You could shower with me if you want. It's the sort of thing couples do."

Kyle gave a squeak of terror and ran down the stairs with the sound of Eric's laughter following behind.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 10**

"Kahl we should do something today, as a couple, so that everyone can see we're together," Eric informed Kyle - while putting away his third chocolate-syrup coated waffle.

Kyle found the way Cartman ate fascinating - he always had. There was something about the determined assault the fat boy made on any food that Kyle couldn't help but watch. It wasn't that Eric ate quickly or in an unusual way - it was that he seemed relentless. Kyle could imagine the Fat-ass eating continuously for hours if food kept being placed in front of him.

Cartman stood up - wiping his mouth on the napkin his mother had set aside for him. He turned to face her and said, "Me and Kahl are going out."

Kyle blinked - apparently Cartman had taken his silence for agreement. He felt himself being ushered towards the door, "Where are we going?" He asked.

"We're going to the mall to get you something half-decent to wear."

Kyle stopped and looked up to the Fat-ass, "Why?"

Cartman exaggeratedly eyed Kyle up and down, "Kahl you look like your mother chooses your clothes."

Kyle looked down at his feet and gripped the hem of his jacket.

"She does," Cartman exclaimed, "your mom has you so whipped that you can't even wear what you want."

"Shut up Fat-ass," Kyle automatically responded.

They were now seated in Cartman's car - his pride and joy. When Cartman had first shown up at school in it he had, as usual, rubbed everyone's nose in how kewl it was. Until, that is, Kyle had pointed out that Eric's mom had worked her ass off to pay for it - literally.

"Now normally Kahl, I would take great delight in ripping on you about this," Cartman looked across at Kyle's pissed-off face, "but since you're being my boyfriend, how you look reflects on me."

Outwardly Kyle seethed but deep inside he knew that Cartman had a point. It was just easier to wear what his mom wanted rather than fight her for the right to choose his own clothes. The only item he wore, which was his choice, was his hat. According to his parents he had seen one, when he was a toddler, and had grabbed it off the display - crying until his parents gave in and had bought it for him. He'd had numerous replacements over the years as they wore out and his head grew. It was possible that the reason he was so attached to his silly hat - as Cartman always called it - was because it was the only item of clothing he wore that really felt like his.

* * *

Cartman pulled into the parking space and quickly jumped out of the car, "C'mon Kahl," he said, "we've got a lot of shopping to do."

Kyle swallowed, "I don't have any money," this was true - Kyle never counted the emergency twenty he had sewn into his hat.

Cartman reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a credit card, "Don't worry Kahl, I've got it covered. You can pay me back double when we win the contest."

Kyle didn't like to ask what would happen if they didn't win the contest.

As he was lead into the mall, Kyle started to feel a little bewildered. He wasn't someone who spent a lot of time hanging out here. He knew where his shops were - the ones he used, like the book shops and the Jewish butchers - and he knew the basic lay-out, but he had never been interested in the rest.

"We better start with your hair-cut," Cartman said as he pulled Kyle along, his hand clamped around his pretend boyfriends.

"Hair-cut," Kyle repeated rather stupidly.

Cartman stopped for a second, "Kahl are you going to fight me about this? I'm not trying to make you look stupid, just the opposite actually. Trust me on this, with the right look, people will be fooled into thinking that you're kewl."

"I am cool," Kyle insisted.

Cartman sighed, "No Kahl, you're not. At best you could be described as the geeky kid who dresses like he doesn't give a shit about what he looks like."

"I don't get called names at school," Kyle had barely noticed that Cartman had started leading him again through the mall.

"There are two reasons for that Kahl," Cartman informed him, "one, you're a nice person who's open and kind and always wants to help anyone in need. And two, Stan and the football team would pound the shit out of anyone who even thought about hurting you."

"That hasn't stopped you insulting me over the years."

"Maybe, but ah'm a special case. Stan's my friend as well and he knows that I insult everyone - it's just part of who I am."

They stopped outside a hair salon and Cartman wrapped an arm around Kyle's shoulder as he guided him inside, "After this is over you'll thank me Kahl."


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 11**

Kyle looked at himself in the mirror. It was hard to believe what he was seeing. He was so used to his usual image that the dramatic changes Cartman had wrought stunned him. He ran a hand through his newly shortened hair, it looked good but would take some getting used to. Kyle had never considered himself a vain person. As a child he was the only one in his class who had refused to follow the metro-sexual trend, insisting on wearing his normal clothes. Then again, he had never looked this good before.

Every item of clothing had been chosen and paid for by Cartman and Kyle had to admit that the Fat-ass had done a great job. What surprised him the most though, was the amount of money Eric had been willing to spend on him. For example; the dark-green suede jacket had cost over four hundred dollars and the designer jeans were eighty dollars a pair. Cartman hadn't just bought him one outfit though, he had purchased a whole new wardrobe for Kyle, from the ground up.

Kyle flushed with embarrassment as he remembered how Eric had insisted on buying him some bikini briefs - loudly pointing out in the store, 'But Kahl they'll look so cute on you.' At that moment he had felt like throttling the Fat-ass but instead had grabbed a mixed colour pack and added them to his stack of purchases. He had thought about not wearing them, but again Cartman had found a way to make Kyle do just what the fat boy wanted.

Eric had insisted that they return to his house after their mammoth shopping trip. He had mentioned something about keeping Kyle's new clothes at his house until Kyle's mom got used to the new look. This actually made sense to Kyle - given his mother's erratic behaviour in the past. Cartman had them suggested that Kyle could take a shower, to wash away any cut hair that may have secreted itself onto his person. Eric had thrown in a, 'You might as well wear some of your new clothes when you're finished.' Kyle had just nodded.

What Kyle didn't suspect was that Cartman had removed all his old clothes, including his underwear, forcing him to wear only the new items - including the bikini briefs. The Fat-ass had even gone to the trouble of selecting an outfit for him, removing all the tags and laying it out, ready, at the end of the bed. Kyle would have been seriously annoyed if he didn't look so good in his new outfit.

"Hurry up Kahl," Cartman shouted from behind the bedroom door, "I'm waiting to see what ah've paid for."

Kyle reluctantly opened the door, allowing Cartman a chance to look at him. He stood there as Eric eyed him up and down.

"You look hot," Cartman informed him.

"Really?" Kyle asked, not that he disagreed.

"If we were really dating ah would be pinning you down on the bed right now," Cartman said jokingly.

"I thought we were supposed to act like a real couple all the time," Kyle teased.

Cartman swallowed, for the first time feeling slightly nervous. This wasn't fair, the Jew wasn't supposed to look this hot and why was his heart beating so fast?

Kyle could see that Cartman was struggling so stepped towards him and kissed him gently on the lips, "Do you want me?" He asked.

Cartman jerked himself backwards, "God-dammit Kahl," he said as he turned and started down the stairs, "save it for when there are other people around."

Kyle grinned at his victory and followed Cartman downstairs.

* * *

"What did you do with my old clothes Cartman?" Kyle asked after seeing no sigh of them in the living room or kitchen.

Cartman was sitting at the kitchen table, he smirked and pointed towards the window. There was a metal bucket sitting in plain view, smoke was billowing from it and the occasional lick of orange flame climbed over the rim. "It's amazing how quickly things burn when they've had half a bottle of vodka poured on them," he added unnecessarily.

"Why?" Kyle asked. Surprisingly he wasn't that angry.

"Kahl, I know you," Cartman informed him smugly, "if I don't push you to wear your new clothes in public you'll find some excuse to Jew your way out of it. Ah've already told you that you look hot and you'll be with me - which will make you look even hotter. Once you wear your new clothes in public, you'll see that there's nothing wrong with dressing to catch people's attention - rather that dressing to avoid attention like you used to."

"But my hat," Kyle lamented.

"Don't worry Kahl," Cartman pulled the green ushanka out from under the table, "I know how much you love this thing."

Kyle snatched the hat out of Cartman's hands.

"And I know," Cartman continued, "that you've got twenty dollars stitched into it."

"It's my emergency money," Kyle felt the need to explain, "that's why I didn't mention it before. Most of the time I forget it's there."

"It's fine Kahl," Cartman smiled, "over the years ah've come to expect your Jewish eccentricitys."

"Quit with the Jewish digs Cartman, unless you want me to call this whole thing off right now," Kyle wasn't anywhere close to that point yet, it would take a lot more provocation, but Cartman needed to learn.

"You don't mean that, do you Kahl?"

"No," Kyle answered truthfully, "but it annoys me and I might make a mistake if you keep winding me up."

"OK Kahl, as much as it pains me, I'll try to cut it out," Cartman added, "don't get too mad if I slip up though."

Kyle crammed his hat on by way of a reply and immediately felt one hundred times better, "Does the hat go with the outfit?" He asked.

"Kahl all the new clothes, that I chose for you, go with your hat."

Kyle stared at Cartman, "You picked things that went with my hat?"

"Ah knew that you would insist on wearing it," Cartman answered - shrugging like it was no big deal.

Kyle blinked, Cartman had managed to predict his behaviour again.

Cartman stood up, "Ah better go change myself, ah want to look nice for dinner tonight."

"What's so special about tonight?" Kyle enquired.

"Your mother invited me to eat with your family," Cartman replied - before shooting up the stairs to avoid the angry boy chasing after him.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Somehow I've managed to get myself into the situation of having two ongoing stories to work on at once (lol). Switching from one to the other is confusing and difficult. I start working on the next chapter for one, then I get an idea for the other. I also have other stories that I've started but haven't posted up yet and numerous ideas that I just don't have the time for right now. Have you ever wished that you could wire your computer up to your brain and think the stories onto the screen? It doesn't help that I usually add extra details and sentences when I type things up from my notebooks._

_Oh well, it's better to have too many ideas than none - cell12._


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 12**

"How do I look Kahl?" Cartman asked for the umpteenth time.

They had finally reached Kyle's house and Eric was badgering the smaller boy for another complement.

"You look fine Eric," Kyle answered through his teeth, right now he couldn't care less what the Fat-ass looked like.

"Ah only ask because ah want to make a good impression on your family," Cartman was really pushing it - while trying to remember his promise to avoid the racial slurs.

"They already know you," Kyle answered, "so don't think you will fool them with your usual nice-boy act."

Cartman raised an eyebrow, as if he was accepting some sort of challenge.

Kyle sighed before opening the door and marching in. He had completely forgotten about his new clothes until he was stopped dead by the stares of his family. Cartman happily followed in behind him, with a massive grin on his face. It was probably Eric's intention all along to divert all the attention onto Kyle.

"Hello Kyle," Gerald said evenly.

Cartman was on full charm mode, "Hello Mr Broflovski, Mrs Broflovski, Ike. It's so good of you to invite me into your wonderful home."

"Kyle, your clothes," Shelia said, slightly shocked.

"He does look good, doesn't he," Eric helpfully chipped in, "ah haven't been able to buy Kyle all the gifts and presents he deserves, or take him out on dates, because he was so insistent on keeping us a secret. So now that ah can, ah guess ah got carried away."

"Eric paid for your new clothes?" Gerald asked, Kyle could hear the disapproval in his fathers voice. His father always preferred to pay for things himself.

"Yes," Kyle answered, "we spent the whole day at the mall."

Kyle knew that once Eric was gone, his parents would want to question him about why he was letting his boyfriend spend so much money. He was actually grateful that Cartman had insisted on keeping the rest of the new clothes at his house.

By now Eric had seated himself on the sofa and was smiling up at Kyle, "You still haven't thanked me properly yet," he teased.

Kyle looked puzzled as he sat next to the Fat-ass, "I said thank you."

Cartman grinned, "Ah meant mah thank you kiss."

Kyle was horrified, "Kiss!"

Cartman smiled politely, "It's OK Kahl if you're too embarrassed to kiss me in front of your parents."

Kyle felt four pairs of eyes looking expectantly at him. In his mind he was running through every curse he could think of, to say to Cartman. Outwardly he forced himself to lean over and kiss the Fat-ass chastely on the cheek, before pulling back.

"That's not a kiss Kahl," Cartman said before pulling him over and kissing him forcefully on the lips.

Kyle could feel his face turn red as Cartman held him. The few seconds of the kiss seemed to stretch out for ever, as he felt his parents watching.

"Kyle your hair!" Shelia exclaimed.

Slightly dazed from the kiss, Kyle reached his hand up to his head. His hat wasn't there. It must have fallen off when Cartman kissed him. He spent a few seconds stupidly looking on the floor before noticing it being held in the Fat-asses hands. Kyle snatched it away, giving Eric a nasty look at the same time.

It took a second for Kyle to realise that Cartman was speaking again.

"Ah'm sorry, it's just that ah'm so happy that we don't have to keep everything secret any more," Cartman took Kyle's hand and held it gently.

"That must have been very hard for both of you," Gerald noted shrewdly.

Again Cartman spoke before Kyle had a chance, "You're right, it was hard on both of us but in different ways. My mother isn't as involved as you guys are and ah've learned not to care about what people say," he pulled a sad face, "ah guess ah'm used to the name-calling and bullying. It doesn't bother me so much."

"I had no idea," Sheila murmured.

"Kahl, on the other hand, was scared of disappointing you and terrified of rejection," Cartman noted the faces of Kyle's parents, "ah told him that you would both be supportive but he preferred to keep our relationship quiet rather than take a risk. Ah let him make that decision for both of us because he had so much more to lose than ah did."

Kyle was stunned at how believable Cartman's bullshit was. He could see that his parents were fully taken in. Sadly a lot of what Cartman had made up was true. Kyle had suffered for years, holding himself in and hiding his gay feelings, out of exactly the fears Cartman had mentioned.

"You poor boys," Kyle lifted his head towards his mother, "it must have been so painful, having to hide such an important part of yourselves."

Kyle felt himself being pressed against Cartman as his mother embraced them both, "Mom," he choked - only then realising that tears were running freely down his face.

Kyle felt his mother break the hug and move back, "I've got to check on things in the kitchen," she said as she quickly left the room.

Kyle looked towards his father, "Did you speak to mom?"

"Your mother is an emotional person Kyle," Gerald replied, "she loves you very much - but she worries."

"Is it because she's Jewish?" Cartman asked without thinking. The glares of all three Broflovski men fell upon him and he shrank back, "Oh god," Cartman verbally stumbled, "ah said that without thinking. It's just," he paused, "it's just that my mom doesn't worry about me at all."

"Eric, I'm sure you mother cares about you," Gerald said.

"Yes, ah know that she loves me, but she's always treated me more like a friend than as a son," Cartman looked away, "ah've never been part of a proper family. Growing up ah saw how my friends were with their parents and ah didn't really understand it. Ah always thought that ah was the lucky one - not having anyone telling me what to do," he turned to stare at Kyle, his eyes glistening, "ah wasn't the lucky one, was ah?"

Kyle found himself holding Cartman and comforting him, "It's OK Eric," either the Fat-ass was an amazing actor or he was genuinely upset.

"The only person who ever tried to set me right, when ah did something stupid or inappropriate, was Kahl," Cartman told them, "for a long time ah hated him for it."

"You don't have to do this now Eric," Kyle tried to silence the larger boy.

"Ah'm sorry Kahl," Cartman gave Kyle a last gentle hug before letting go, "ah don't want to embarrass you in front of your family."

Kyle secretly seethed, Cartman had been doing everything he could to embarrass him since they arrived. The fat boy had played it so well that even Kyle couldn't tell what was accidental and what was intentional. He tried telling himself that there was nothing more Cartman could do and that he'd endured the worst of it - but over the years the Fat-ass has regularly demonstrated just how capable he was at winding up his Jewish friend. Kyle was anticipating a long evening.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 13**

"You'll excuse me, ah need to freshen up," Cartman said, standing and looking at Kyle, "ah think you do too."

Kyle was puzzled for a second before he realised it would be a chance to speak to Cartman and try to get him to turn it down a notch. He got up and started to follow Eric as he made his way upstairs to the bathroom.

"Ah think things are going well," Cartman said as he made his way to the sink.

Kyle seethed while Cartman ran the water and started to splash it onto his face.

"Well," Kyle replied in a loud whisper, "you think this is well? You've done nothing but embarrass and humiliate me since we arrived."

Cartman looked up from the sink and retaliated, "This was always going to be an awkward dinner Kahl. Ah had to step it up because you were acting all weird and wooden - like you couldn't think of anything to say."

Cartman moved across to let Kyle take his turn at the sink.

"Ah meant it when ah said that ah never wanted to embarrass you," Cartman pressed up against Kyle and hugged him from behind, "ah love you sweet peh."

Sweet pea? Why had the Fat-ass called him that. Kyle felt himself being turned around and pulled into a close embrace. Cartman closed the gap between them and started kissing him. Kyle was about to protest, when he noticed Ike had followed them into the bathroom out of the corner of his eye. Eric must have heard something and had initiated the kiss to shut him up before he ruined everything.

Kyle pulled back from Eric, "Ike, I'm sorry, we were just," Kyle searched his mind for an appropriate word to describe his and Cartman's actions.

"Making out," Cartman finished for him, "sometimes Kahl is so cute that ah can't help myself."

Ike stared at them - not saying anything.

"Eric, could you," Kyle asked, indicating the door.

Cartman let go of Kyle and moved to leave the room, "Ah'll see you downstairs Kahl, don't be long."

Kyle waited until he could hear Eric going down the stairs before he turned to his brother, "You wanted to talk to me?"

"What's really going on with you and Cartman?" Ike came straight to the point.

Kyle knew he could trust his brother with anything, Ike was not one to betray your trust. He had seen his brother lie with impunity on many occasions. Like the time Kyle's RC air-plane mysteriously got broken, if he hadn't seen the truth with his own eyes he would have believed Ike's claims of innocence. In fact his brother's lying skills were almost as good as Cartman's. Ike also had the ability to spot any bull-shit at one thousand paces.

"I'm not sure," Kyle answered honestly.

"You're pretending to date him to win that contest," Ike told him.

"Yes," Kyle answered, "it's not for me though, it's so Stan and Kenny can go to college. Cartman as well, I suppose."

"I know that," Ike said quietly, "I worked it out from reading about the contest on-line."

Kyle didn't ask how he had worked things out Ike was a genius after all, "So why are you asking," he didn't even bother asking his brother to keep his and Cartman's secret - he already knew that Ike would.

"I just wanted to know if you had real feelings for him?" Ike pressed him.

Kyle swallowed nervously, did he have any feelings towards Cartman? Sure, he liked it when they kissed and hugged and stuff - but that was only because he was gay. He'd never had a chance to do anything like that before with anyone. So it turned him on, even though it was Cartman. So what, he'd find it just as hot with someone else - wouldn't he?

"Kyle, do you like Cartman?" Ike asked again.

"I like it when he holds me and kisses me," Kyle answered truthfully.

"Those clothes he bought you look expensive," Ike pointed out.

"There's even more back at his house," Kyle added, "I thing he spent a few thousand dollars on me."

"And you really think he did that just to win a contest?" Ike smiled, "He could have just bought you two or three cheaper outfits."

"Are you saying that he spent money on me because he wants me to look good," the thought of this made Kyle feel strangely excited.

"I'm just saying that there are easier and more practical things that Cartman could have done to get the money for college," Ike spoke calmly, "but he chose the one that lets him hold you, kiss you and be close to you."

"You think he likes me?" As he spoke, Kyle was surprised to hear the hope in his voice.

"Subconsciously maybe," Ike answered, "he might not even realise it himself. Even if he did realise, I doubt that he would be willing to admit anything - given how he is."

Kyle nodded, he had spent enough time with Cartman to know that the Fat-ass would bury any feelings he might have behind a wall of anger, hate and ass-hole behaviour. Was there a chance that Kyle could turn his fake relationship with Cartman into a real one - and did he want to?

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I loved writing Ike in this chapter - he seems like a person who would be wise beyond his years._

_With the reviews posted after chapter 12, this story has become my most reviewed story, going past my earlier story, **Cartman, I'm Your Boyfriend**. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, I don't usually reply - unless you have a question about the story - but I do read and enjoy every review. Thanks also to all the people who have chosen to favourite or story alert **The Contest**._


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 14**

"This is a wonderful chicken, Mrs Broflovski," Cartman complemented before placing another large forkful into his mouth.

"I'm glad that you like it," Shelia replied, "what do you like the best?"

Cartman thought for a moment, "Ah think the way it is balanced by the dill sauce. It's not how my mom does it but the flavours really complement."

Ever since Ike's revelations, Kyle had not been able to take his eyes off Cartman. He tried to tell himself that, whether the Fat-ass liked him or not, didn't matter but the truth was that the idea intrigued him. He had sat through most of the meal idly staring at the fat boy, in the hopes of seeing some sign, something to let him know either way. Eric had smiled over at him a few times and pressed his hand upon Kyle's once - but all that was part of the pretend dating act. Kyle was starting to question every moment he had spent with Cartman since this whole contest thing started.

"Kyle, lima beans," Kyle was snapped out of his contemplation by the voice of his mother.

"I'm sorry," Kyle said.

"Kyle you've been staring at Eric all dinner," Shelia pointed out, "he won't vanish if you spend five minutes looking at your plate rather than him."

Kyle picked up the bowl of lima beans and handed them to his mother, "Sorry," he said, "I've been a little distracted."

"That's alright Kyle," Shelia took the bowl out of his hands and spooned some of the contents onto her plate, "but you need to remember - a relationship can be a wonderful thing, as long as it doesn't detract from the rest of your life."

"Mrs Broflovski," Cartman chipped in, "I think Kahl's just nervous about the film crew coming to interview us the day after tomorrow."

"Yes, I wanted to ask you about that," Gerald said - dabbing his mouth with a napkin, "they'll want to interview us, won't they."

"Not just family, Mr Broflovski, but our friends and anybody else who knows us in town," Cartman lowered his fork and speared the last potato on his plate, "ah think that they also want to film me and Kahl on a typical day as well - so they can intersperse the interview clips with it."

"I see," Gerald replied as he placed his knife and fork on the side of his plate.

"They'll be filming in our house?" Shelia asked.

"Probably," Cartman answered, "unless you refuse to let them."

Shelia started looking around the room with a critical eye, "We'll have to clean the whole house from top to bottom," a chorus of groans could be heard from Kyle, Ike and their father.

Cartman smiled at her, "Ah have the same problem at my house or ah'd offer to help," Kyle fetched him an evil look, "still, it gives you the chance to show everyone what a wonderful home you have."

"I thought the show was only going to air in Colorado," Kyle asked.

Cartman shrugged, "Ah think that a couple of cable channels have picked it up as a time filler. Anyway you can always record it when the show airs."

Kyle imagined his mother sending copies to everyone she knew - relatives, old school friends and even neighbours.

Eric returned to finishing his meal while Kyle tried to pick at his. Ike was talking about some test he had got another A plus on. Kyle didn't have much of an appetite, he'd found the evening far too stressful. Suddenly he became aware that everybody was looking at him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening," Kyle apologised.

"Kyle your mother just asked you if you want Eric to spend the night," Gerald informed him.

"What," Kyle forcefully swallowed the food in his mouth. He could feel it's rough texture as it made it's way down his throat, to sit like a stone in his stomach. He looked desperately over at Cartman, hoping the fat boy had thought of a way out for them.

"Kahl ah told your parents that ah would love to spend the night," Kyle's jaw dropped as Cartman smiled at him, "but ah also said that you might be too embarrassed."

Kyle looked at his mother, "You'd let Eric stay here tonight, with me?"

"Kyle your father and I only want what's best for you," Shelia looked straight at him as she spoke, "it's fairly obvious how much you love Eric and we both want you to be happy."

"But," Kyle tried to find the words.

"We know that the two of you are sexually active," Gerald added, "but it's not a problem because we trust your judgement."

Kyle cringed - wishing the ground would open up and swallow him.

"Kahl, ah know you feel uncomfortable talking about this in front of your parents," Cartman smiled at Kyle and took his hand, "ah think they're amazing - to be so understanding so soon. Ah only wish ah had a family that cared as much."

"Eric," Kyle didn't say anything else. His eyes fixed on the boy holding his hand.

"Do you want me to stay," Cartman asked.

Kyle still didn't know whether Cartman really liked him or not, he didn't know whether he liked Cartman or not - but he wanted to find out.

"Yes," Kyle answered. Kyle felt his hand being squeezed a little tighter and a warm spark seemed to light in Eric's hazel eyes.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** This chapter took me a little longer to write because I had to change and add some things._


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 15**

"Don't worry Kahl nothing bad is going to happen," Cartman told his Jewish friend.

"I still don't understand how this happened," Kyle murmured.

"Kahl?" Cartman stared at the smaller boy.

"How were you able to charm my parents into letting you stay the night?" Although he asked the question, Kyle was really asking himself.

They were both sitting in Kyle's bedroom, Kyle at his desk and Cartman on the bed. Kyle wasn't sure about anything except for the fact that Eric's mind was so twisty that it was impossible to read.

"It was the way you were looking at me," Cartman answered.

"What?" Kyle was confused.

"You were staring, adoringly at me all through dinner. It was really noticeable."

"I didn't realise," Kyle shifted in his seat, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"It was great Kahl," Cartman replied animatedly, "you really looked like you were a love-sick girl gazing longingly at your crush."

"Well..."

Kyle was just about to launch into an explanation when Cartman interrupted him, "Ah don't know if you can do it again but it would be perfect if you could, you know, when they're filming for the contest."

Kyle nodded, "I can try."

Cartman smiled and Kyle felt his heart start to pound. Why was the Fat-ass having such an affect on him?

"We should talk about tonight," Cartman said.

"What about tonight?" Kyle asked.

"Your parents are expecting us to have sex," Cartman spoke calmly.

"We're not," Kyle immediately snapped, although he couldn't help but imagine.

"Of course we're not Kahl," Cartman lowered his honeyed voice, "but we have to give them the impression that we are."

"How," Kyle asked, "fake moans and noises?"

Cartman looked at Kyle like he was stupid, "Kahl, when you were a kid, did you ever pretend to be asleep by making snoring noises?"

"Yes," Kyle answered cautiously, not sure where this was heading.

"Did it ever work?"

Kyle thought about it - fake sex noises would only ever sound fake, "So what do we do then?"

Cartman leaned towards him conspiratorially, "If you were really having sex, with your parents in the house, you'd try to be as quiet as possible."

Kyle tried not to think about how devious Cartman was.

Cartman continued, "So all we have to do is shower together in the morning and look all embarrassed if anyone asks anything."

"Shower together?" Kyle was starting to get a little nervous.

"Kahl, we won't actually shower together, we'll just be in the room at the same time," Cartman grinned, "ah'll shower while you're at the sink, then we switch. Just think of it as no worse than having to shower together at school."

"OK," Kyle felt relieved, this wasn't going to be so bad after all - not much worse than a normal sleep-over anyway.

"The only other thing we have to discuss is the sleeping arrangements," Cartman told Kyle.

"You'll sleep on the floor, Fat-ass," Kyle instantly said, although the idea of being in a bed with Cartman held a scary and exciting appeal.

"Kahl, do your parents ever come into your room without knocking?" Cartman asked.

"Sometimes," Kyle remembered various embarrassing incidents. His mother, in particular, didn't seem to understand the concept of respecting her son's privacy.

"Is it possible that they might do that tonight or tomorrow morning?" Cartman looked closely at Kyle.

Kyle thought about it. His mom often barged into his room, on a morning, if she wanted him up quickly for some reason - like to help clean the house, "We'll have to share the bed."

Cartman looked over the bed he was sitting on, "It's pretty small."

Kyle tried not to think about being pressed up against Cartman all night, "We'll manage," he said.

Just then there was a knock on the bedroom door, without waiting for a response the door swung open to reveal Shelia Broflovski, "Kyle, I brought you a toothbrush and towel for your boyfriend."

Kyle looked strangely at his mother, she had just proven Eric's point. He knew where the spare towels and toothbrushes were kept. Why did she feel the need to intrude upon them? There was something about her body-language which made Kyle think.

"Mom, are you sure that you're OK with Eric spending the night?" Kyle asked.

Shelia looked hesitant for a second, like she was trying to decide whether to answer or not, "I admit that I'm not fully comfortable with you being gay yet Bube. The idea to let Eric spend the night here was your father's."

Kyle got up and went over to hug his mother, "If it bothers you that much, we can do this another night."

"Kyle being with Eric makes you happy," Shelia hugged her son back, "that's all I've ever wanted for you. Anything else is my problem, not yours. You being here with your boyfriend is something I'll just have to get used to."

Shelia quickly placed the towel and toothbrush down before leaving the room.

Kyle turned to find Eric undressing - he was soon down to his shorts and t-shirt, "That's as far as ah go tonight," Cartman said, winking at Kyle.

Cartman grabbed the toothbrush and headed off for the bathroom. Once He had gone Kyle followed suit - the only differences being that he put on clean shorts, to replace the skimpy bikini briefs that Eric had bought him, and a comfortable shirt from his drawer.

As Kyle entered the bathroom Eric had just finished rinsing out his toothbrush and was looking around the room. When he saw Kyle he paused to ask, "Where do ah put this?"

Kyle opened up a cabinet, on the wall to the side of the sink, "We keep them in here," he said taking his own out.

As they swapped places Cartman spoke, "Ah should have brought a change of clothes."

"Not your fault Cartman," Kyle responded while squeezing the paste onto his own toothbrush, "you couldn't have known that my parents would invite you to stop for the night."

"No Kahl, not for me," Cartman replied, "for you."

"I wouldn't want to wear them while I'm cleaning tomorrow," Kyle told Cartman before starting to brush his teeth.

"Ah'll bring you a change of clothes tomorrow," Cartman told him, "so you can wear them for our date."

"Mn-t," Kyle said, his mouth full of paste.

"People need to see us together Kahl," Cartman explained, "now that we've 'come out' everyone will be expecting us to go on dates. It will be good practice for the show as well."

Kyle just nodded, there was no point in arguing with Cartman when he was focused on something like this. It was go along with what Cartman wanted or be bulldozed over.

Kyle finished and rinsed his mouth, while Cartman waited for him.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** A slightly longer chapter with, hopefully, some fun banter between Eric and Kyle. I've decided to keep this story T-rated so that everyone currently reading it can read it to the end. I may post some M-rated add-ons for this separately but I haven't definitely decided yet. cell12._


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 16**

Waking up, snuggled close, in the arms of Eric Cartman was the best feeling in the world - Kyle told himself as he stretched and turned his head, to look at the alarm clock. 6:15 am, there was no need to rush up and he wasn't desperate for the toilet either. He could spend a few moments secretly enjoying being in the arms of his worst enemy. Cartman seemed to radiate a warmth that didn't just heat Kyle's body but his soul as well. It was nirvana, a plateau where nothing bad could touch him. Eric's scent invaded Kyle's nostrils and his breathing assaulted Kyle's ears. At that moment Kyle wished that he could always wake up this way and with this person - with Cartman.

* * *

They had both felt awkward getting into the bed and Kyle had tried to look everywhere but at Cartman. The Fat-ass hadn't helped the situation by suggesting that they may as well cuddle up, given how the bed was so small. Kyle hadn't really wanted to, given his uncertain feelings, but found himself pulled into Cartman's body and held there by big arms wrapping around him.

Kyle hadn't bothered to struggle, instead he had pressed himself closer, "Sometimes my mom comes in to check on me," he had muttered by way of explanation.

Kyle had wanted to ask Eric, do you really like me, so badly but couldn't find the courage to mouth the words.

"Ah put the lube on top of the cabinet," Eric had said.

Kyle lifted himself up to look, and sure enough, there next to the alarm clock was a half used tube of lube. Kyle hadn't been sure what to make of it, "Why is it half used?"

"It's more believable that way," Eric had told him, "and before you ask, ah bought a new tube and squeezed out half the contents."

Kyle had considered making a remark about Cartman using the lube to jack-off, but in the end just let it go and snuggled back into Eric's arms. It really wasn't something Kyle wanted to start thinking about.

As he had drifted off to sleep, Kyle vaguely remembered hearing a, "Night Kahl," from Cartman and feeling a gentle kiss being placed on his forehead.

* * *

"Morning Kahl," Cartman said as he stretched and shifted in the bed, "as much as ah enjoy having you wrapped around me, ah really have to piss. So would you mind."

Kyle pulled himself away from Cartman and sat up, he must have drifted back off to sleep because it was after seven, "Morning Fat-ass."

Cartman turned quickly to face Kyle, "Quit the fat digs Kahl," he said angrily, "if anything you should be calling me Eric."

"Why should I?" Kyle asked, "You couldn't goo one evening without having a dig at my mom for worrying about me. Remember, is it because she's Jewish?"

Cartman shifted guiltily, "Ah'm sorry Kyle, ah tried - ah really did. Ah only slipped up the once and ah apologised straight away."

"Even so," Kyle started.

"Ah think ah recovered pretty well," Cartman continued looking slightly smug, "well enough to get invited to stay the night."

"You did try," Kyle conceded, "I'll let it go this once Eric," he said, putting extra emphasis on the name.

"Just do your best Kahl," Cartman said, "ah expect you'll see just how hard it is."

Kyle nodded, "Fine Eric, and don't call me sweet pea again either."

Cartman sniggered, "But Kahl, you are sweet and you do wear a lot of peh green. Ah needed a name to call you and it just jumped into my head. Ah'm sorry, sweet peh."

Kyle watched as Cartman ran out of the room. He knew that he had enjoyed last night way too much. He sighed before getting up to follow Eric, there wasn't really much he could do except play along and see what the Fat-ass was up to.

Like they had talked about the night before, Cartman and Kyle used the bathroom together. Cartman taking his shower while Kyle was at the sink. Given his age and fair complexion, Kyle didn't need to shave every day but he preferred to, rather than have the feeling of patches of stubble. When they switched places Kyle got to see Eric with only a towel wrapped around his waist, hair damp and towel dried.

"Have you got a razor ah can use or should ah wait till ah get home?" Cartman asked.

"You can use mine - if you don't mind the Jew germs," Kyle replied as he started to strip for his shower.

As he undressed, Kyle cast sly glances at Cartman. Hoping to catch Eric looking at him, sadly the Fat-ass appeared oblivious.

"If your mom is going to let this become a regular thing ah should bring some of my stuff over," Cartman noted as he lathered his face.

Kyle listened, not saying anything.

"Ah've already got most of your new clothes over at my house but we should consider having some toiletries and sleep clothes at each others place as well."

Kyle just nodded in agreement, he was rinsing off his new hair and had to admit that it was easier to wash - easier to dry as well. Most of the time he'd used a shower cap to keep his hair out of the water and when he did wash it, well, it could take nearly an hour to dry naturally. He had hated using a hair-dryer because it made his jewfro even more tightly curled.

"Ow, shit," Cartman exclaimed

Kyle had just stepped out of the shower and was drying himself, "What's up," he asked.

"Ah just cut mah-self with your stupid razor," Cartman told him.

"Let me see," Kyle said, stepping towards the fatter boy.

Cartman moved his hand away revealing a nick on his jaw.

It's not so bad," Kyle informed him, "Maybe it'll teach you not to talk while you shave."

"Stupid Jew," Cartman muttered, "the least you could do is kiss it better for me."

"Fine," Kyle said, leaning forwards on tip-toes to kiss Eric's jaw.

Feeling Kyle's gentle kiss on his cut felt amazing and Cartman stifled a groan. Without thinking he turned his head so that their lips were together and initiated a kiss. Kyle didn't seem to mind and started to return the kiss hungrily.

Cartman broke off the kiss and moved back, slightly freaked-out, "Kahl ah've got to go, there's a lot of stuff ah have to prepare for tonight."

On saying this, Eric rushed out of the bathroom and hurried to get dressed. Kyle didn't appear in the bedroom until Cartman was pulling his jacket on.

"You're going to leave me to face my parents alone," Kyle asked slightly hurt.

"Ah'm sorry Kahl," Cartman responded, "just tell them that ah was embarrassed and nervous about facing them. Tell them ah said thank you."

Kyle nodded, he wondered why Cartman was acting strangely.

Cartman hurried out of the room and down the stairs, 'It was just a practice kiss,' he told himself, 'just for practice.'

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I have wanted to write a shaving scene in a Kyman fic for some time. I've never really come across one before, admittedly I mainly read just Cartman slash fics so there might be shaving in other SP storys. Most guys start shaving in their mid-teens, usually only needing it once-a-week. Soon though it becomes something that they have to do more and more often, until it's every day. Admittedly not the most interesting thing in the world, but hey, I'm obsessive like that (lol)._

_Thanx for all the reviews and support I've received. I've actually pushed one of my secret projects, that I'm desperate to work on, to the back of my mind to focus on this story because of the review numbers._

_Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	17. Chapter 17

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 17**

Kyle spent the morning cleaning his room and tidying it. He had to change the bedding and even the curtains were taken down for washing. His mother was a stickler for detail and set exceptionally high standards. If they'd had the time she would have probably wanted the carpets shampooed as well. Kyle was just grateful that all the cleaning was distracting his parents from speaking to him. His dad in particular was a proud man who didn't like owing anybody anything. The fact that Kyle had been given so many expensive gifts from Cartman would not sit comfortably.

It was when they broke for lunch that his parents finally found the time to have a chat with him. His mother had made sandwiches, but Kyle was too apprehensive to eat much.

"Kyle we think you should return the clothes that Eric has bought for you," his mother had opened with. It was her do-as-I-tell-you-because-I-know-best voice, the voice that usually left little room for arguments.

"I can't," Kyle responded with, "Eric removed the tags and burnt them."

"Kyle those clothes looked like they cost a good few hundred dollars," Kyle could see his father didn't really approve of such extravagance on something like clothes.

Kyle had reasoned that it would be better to tell them about the rest of the clothes now - rather than have a second argument in a few days time, when they found out, "It isn't just the clothes you saw, Eric bought me more. We left the rest as his place."

"Kyle you didn't need new clothes," Shelia insisted, "the ones you have already are perfectly good."

Kyle sighed - he hated to even think it, but Cartman was right about the clothes. They gave him confidence and made his feel better about himself, "Eric didn't see it that way. He told me that I dress like I don't care, like my mom picked out my clothes. He said that I wore clothes that made me fade into the background rather that clothes that made me stand out. He wanted people to notice how great I am."

"Kyle we've always thought you were a wonderful son," his mother started.

"But you've never let me make decisions about my own life," Kyle snapped.

"Kyle," Shelia started to use the voice again, so Kyle spoke quickly to cut her off.

"No, other kids get a clothing allowance - you buy all my clothes for me. You insisted upon final approval for all the subjects I've taken in high school," Kyle was angry - all the little things, that had been bothering him for a long time, were rising to the surface, "you trust me so little that you still check my homework to make sure it's my best effort. I've known I was gay since I was 12 but it took Eric to give me the confidence to tell you."

"Kyle if you were unhappy you should have told us," Gerald responded, "we've only ever encouraged you to be the best you can."

"I know," Kyle said - his anger suddenly abated, "I've always appreciated what I have, growing up with friends like Eric and Kenny taught me that. Every time I felt like complaining, whenever you did something that I thought was unfair, I always told myself that my life was so much better than theirs. It's like Eric said - it's better to have parents who push you to succeed rather than parents who don't care or who let you do whatever you want."

"Kyle you've never shown any interest in your clothes," Shelia said, "you could have spoken to us, told us that you wanted to choose them yourself."

Kyle wanted to say that his parents had brought him up to not care about what he wore. To think that wanting nice-looking or expensive clothes was vain and shallow. That it was easier to accept his parents rules and bow to their control, rather than argue with them. That they made him feel guilty every time they had to spend money on him.

Instead he pulled his shoulders back and said, "I'm not giving Eric the clothes back."

"Kyle," both his parents said.

"It's my decision and I've made it," Kyle said determinedly, "you buy me expensive things all the time."

"But that's different Kyle," Shelia replied, "we're your parents, your family." She stopped - seeing the look Kyle was giving her, "You consider your boyfriend like family," she said in a much gentler voice.

Kyle was shocked, he still was unsure about his feelings towards Cartman but apparently his body-language told a different story, "If it bothers you so much," he paused, "I'll get a job in the summer and pay him back. He won't be happy about it though."

Gerald didn't say it, but he was really proud of Kyle right now. It wasn't the way he had stood up for his decision, but the way he had held back and not said the hurtful things. Being a lawyer, Gerald had seen his son's restraint, "Maybe you could buy Eric something instead," he suggested.

Kyle nodded, although he couldn't think of anything Cartman really needed. He already had a car and nice clothes, a top-of-the-line computer and all the games consoles. Everything he wanted in fact. Kyle stopped, Cartman had all the material things but he didn't have the one thing he really wanted - a normal family life. Even Kenny had a close family that cared about him.

""Kyle you're crying," his mother's voice snapped Kyle out of his thoughts, "did we say something that upset you?"

"Not directly," Kyle answered, "I was trying to think what I could buy Eric, when the only thing he really needs is to be part of a family."

* * *

Eric was lounging on his bed, his mobile in his hands. Surprisingly the room appeared pristine and tidy - well not surprising really, given the cleaners he had paid to go over his house. He'd insisted upon everything being done to his exacting standards, they'd even groomed Mr Kitty and defrosted the fridge. Cartman made a mental note to stock up with normal grocerys, rather than the usual junk food and microwave meals that normally occupied the shelves.

"So Kenneh, how are the Vegas girls," Cartman asked.

"Hot," Kenny replied, "the showgirls are amazing."

"Well that's what happens when all the hottest girls, who are willing to be ogled as sex objects, converge on one place," Cartman told his friend.

"I can't thank you enough dude," Kenny said.

"It was nothing Kenneh," Cartman was clearly unsettled by the praise, "you and your brother are helping me out - remember."

"No Cartman, you bought the car and paid for the whole trip, you even gave me spending money and Kev gambling money," Kenny insisted, "it must have cost you thousands."

"Look Kenneh," Cartman said - slightly agitated, "ah only did it so your brother would place my bets for me. Ah'm using you both for my benefit."

"And the fact that we're having the best time of our lives is just a coincidence?" Kenny replied sarcastically.

"It's not a coincidence, ah planned it that way," Cartman was staring at the phone - how could Kenny be so insightful over long-distance?

"Look," Kenny said, "I made sure that Kev placed your bets at ten different bookies, like you wanted, before we even hit a casino. It was safer that way."

"What, you think he might have gambled away my money at a casino?"

"I wasn't taking any risks," Kenny told his friend, "I'm holding all the slips as well."

"So everything is kewl at your end," Cartman asked.

"For now," Kenny answered, "Cartman I never asked where you got the money from, to pay for your bets and our expenses."

"Do you really want to know Kenneh?" Cartman questioned.

Kenny thought about it, "No, as long as you promise me that you didn't hurt anyone, unless they deserved it."

"Ah promise," Cartman answered.

"Now tell me again how Kyle took it when he found out that you'd entered him in the contest with you."

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I struggled with both parts of this chapter, each getting numerous re-writes in my notebook. I wanted to progress the story without revealing too much, I also wanted to bring Kenny into the story._

_Cartman and Kenny talking on the phone was originally much earlier in the story, part of chapter 8 in fact. I moved it because it revealed too much, way too early. Also, I wanted to develop the growing relationship between Cartman and Kyle before adding extra plot._

_I originally thought that this story would be about 20 chapters, I was wrong. I'm now thinking it will be 30 or more (probably more)._

_Thanx for all the reviews, favs and alerts - they show that you care, cell12._


	18. Chapter 18

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 18**

Cartman arrived early for his date with Kyle. When Kyle opened the door he was confronted by Eric holding a large number of bags and looking impatient. Kyle had done his best to look presentable - but his old clothes were just not the same.

"Hi Kahl," Cartman said as he made his way past Kyle and headed upstairs, "ah'd kiss you but ah wouldn't be able to do you justice with my arms loaded up like this."

"You brought all my new clothes over," Kyle noted out loud.

"Not all of them Kahl," Cartman pointed out, "ah left some at my place for when you stop over."

Cartman used his foot to push open Kyle's bedroom door and dumped the bags onto the bed. Kyle looked at the pile with distaste, he had spent hours getting his room tidy.

"I don't think I've got the room for all of this," Kyle started.

Cartman looked at him, "Of course you have Kahl, you just have to sort out all the crap your throwing away. Ah'll even help you."

"I'm not throwing new and nearly new clothes away Cartman," Kyle responded, his adrenaline building up.

"Fine," Cartman answered, "donate them to charity - it's the same thing."

Kyle stared at the Fat-ass, looking for any sign of mischief, "It will really annoy my parents."

"All the more reason to do it then, Kahl," Cartman grinned at him, "show them that you're making your own decisions."

Kyle nodded, "OK, what do I do?"

"You go and get some trash bags, while ah sort through your wardrobe," Cartman pulled open the wardrobe doors and peered inside.

When Kyle returned, he noticed that Cartman had turned most of his wardrobe's contents out onto the floor, "Cartman," he said - slightly exasperated.

Cartman glanced over his shoulder, "That's the discard pile, take off any hangers and check all the pockets before bagging them."

Kyle picked at the clothes on the floor - suddenly he spied a contentious item, "I've got to keep this sweater, my mom bought it for me as a present."

Cartman turned to look at the offending article, "How long have you had it?" He asked.

Kyle thought for a second, "Six months."

"It looks warm and comfortable," Cartman pointed out, "how many times have you worn it?"

"I tried it on when my mom gave me it," Kyle replied.

"So why don't you wear it?" Cartman smiled - he already knew the answer.

"Because it's hideous," Kyle looked at the sweater in his hands. At that moment it represented everything his parents imposed upon him to control his life. He wanted to take some scissors to it or just rip it apart. He hated it.

"Put it in the trash bag," Cartman said calmly.

"What," Kyle blinked.

"If you destroy it, you'll feel better for a while," Cartman told him, "but they'll still be controlling your life."

Kyle gripped the sweater tightly for a second before taking a deep breath and dropping it into the bag, "When will I feel better?" He asked.

Cartman had returned his attention to the wardrobe, "When you have a life outside of what your parents want for you. It will take a while but you will become comfortable making your own decisions."

"I don't want to push my parents away," Kyle pointed out, "I actually like them."

"Kahl," Cartman explained, "a parents job is to let their child grow and learn, while keeping them safe and happy. Your parents, well mainly your mother in particular, have been holding you back. By not encouraging you to make decisions for yourself, she keeps you dependant upon her - it lets her control your life."

Kyle thought about it, "My mom wouldn't do something like that, would she?"

"Don't think it's deliberate Kahl," Cartman answered, "ah've no doubt that it's the way she was brought up herself - with her mother bossing around the husband and children. At least your mom doesn't use guilt-trips or play favourites with you and Ike."

"You sound like you almost like my mom, Eric," Kyle pointed out.

Cartman dipped his head, "She's a lot better than what I've got."

They finished the clothes sorting in silence. Kyle had a lot to think about and Eric didn't seem to want to talk either. It didn't take long, mainly thanks to Cartman's ruthlessness in choosing what to keep and what to bag. He even helped Kyle to hang the new clothes in the wardrobe and put the rest away in drawers. A few items Cartman put to one side and when asked why he replied, "These will do for Kenneh."

"Have you spoken to Kenny yet?" Kyle asked.

"We talked on the phone this morning," Cartman replied, "he's having a great time."

"I wonder how he and his brother got the money to pay for their trip?" Kyle asked.

Cartman shuffled uncomfortably, "Ah'm sure Kenneh will tell you when he gets back."

"I just hope he didn't do something stupid to get the money," Kyle was closely watching Cartman's reaction to his words, 'he knows something,' Kyle thought.

Cartman moved quickly to change the subject, "This is your outfit for tonight," he said indicating a dark gold shirt and charcoal grey jeans he had set to one side.

As Kyle looked, he noticed a sports bag next to Cartman's feet, "What's that?" He asked.

"It's my things, for if ah have to sleep over again," Cartman poked the bag with his foot, "some t-shirts, shorts and stuff," he saw Kyle looking at him, "you can search through it if you want."

"Are you wanting to stop here again tonight?"

"No," Cartman answered forcefully. Seeing Kyle's face he softened his reply, "The film crew are due here tomorrow morning, sometime. Since my address is their contact point, ah want to be home when they call."

"That makes sense," Kyle said.

Cartman looked at Kyle like he was considering something, "It might be a good idea if you stopped at mine tonight," he rushed on before Kyle could respond, "it will give the film crew the impression that we're in a close relationship."

Kyle thought about it, "I'll have to get permission first."

"Sure," Cartman nodded, "where are your parents, anyway?"

"After all the cleaning we've done today, mom didn't feel like cooking - so they've taken Ike out to dinner," Kyle picked up the clothes that Cartman had left out for him.

Where are they going?" Cartman asked, "The last thing we want is to turn up at the same place on a date."

"Somewhere fancy in North Park, I think," Kyle answered while he started to undress, "I don't think there's much chance of us bumping into them."

Cartman grabbed the trash bags, "Ah'll put these in the boot of my car, we can drop them off before we hit the arcade."

Kyle looked puzzled, "Arcade?" It didn't sound very romantic.

"Sure Kahl," Cartman winked as he left the room, "the whole point of this date is for us to be seen together by as many people as possible. And besides, ah can't wait to see everyone's faces when we start making out."

Kyle wasn't sure whether Cartman was joking or not - but it sounded like fun.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Cartman's last line was almost a joke about watching Kyle's ass while they played Dance Dance Revolution but I remembered, in time, that somebody has already done that in a fic._

_I'm half-way through my second 200 page notebook on this story already and I've refilled the leads on my favourite mechanical pencil twice. This story has officially taken over my life. Kyman love forever, cell12._


	19. Chapter 19

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 19**

Kyle hurried getting dressed and rushed to join Eric downstairs. When he got there, he noticed that Cartman wasn't in the living room. He looked out of the window and saw Eric sat behind the wheel of his car. Kyle decided to phone his parents now, before he got too into the date and forgot. He picked up the handset and pressed the speed-dial for his dad's mobile, Kyle hoped it would be a shorter conversation this way.

"Hi dad," Kyle said when his dad picked up.

"Kyle," Gerald answered.

"Eric's invited me to sleep at his house tonight," Kyle told his dad.

"And you chose to phone me rather than your mother," Gerald noted.

Kyle laughed, "Just say it's OK and I'll let you get back to your dinner."

"It's fine Kyle," Gerald laughed, "I'll break the news to your mother."

Kyle smiled as he replaced the receiver, things were going great right now. Thanks to Cartman, he'd finally come out to his family. Their reactions weren't everything he hoped for, but pretty close and way better than he had feared. Stan had taken the news really well, offering his full support and friendship - but Kyle had expected that, Stan was a great guy. Then he thought about Cartman. Eric had done so much to help him through the difficult coming-out transition. All to aid his own schemes, of course - but still, the Fat-ass had been encouraging and supportive. Always chipping in with good advice and being there to prop up Kyle's confidence. In fact Eric had been acting just like a perfect boyfriend.

A couple of years ago Kyle had made a list of requirements for what he wanted in a boyfriend. The Cartman who had been hanging around with Kyle for the last couple of days hit every point on his list. Kyle was even starting to think that Cartman was handsome! It wasn't something Kyle wanted, no-one wants to develop feelings for Eric Cartman. He was a mean, selfish, jerk who treated people like pawns to be pushed around a game board. Sadly, the more Kyle thought about it, the more hopeless it become - he liked Cartman, he really did and the more time he spent with him, the more he would feel that way. It wasn't love, Kyle tried to tell himself. I can't fall in love with an act. Kyle tried to remind himself of how Cartman usually behaved towards him but his mind kept snapping back to memories of Eric holding him, kissing him, teasing him and helping him. Before he realised, Kyle had a fixed, wide, goofy grin on his face - shit.

Kyle was jolted out of his daze by the beeping of Cartman's horn. Eric was waiting for him in the car. I just have to suck it up, Kyle thought as he hurried out the door with his new jacket unfastened. I'll find out soon enough if Cartman really likes me and until then, I get to enjoy what I have right now.

Cartman was having similar thoughts as he sat behind the wheel. He couldn't get the kiss from this morning out of his head. Yes he'd kissed Kyle before, but this morning he'd wanted it and he'd enjoyed it. Cartman had tried to tell himself that these feelings were just because they were working together as a team and would go away once this was all over. Even as he thought it, he didn't believe it was true. He had made things worse for himself by turning Kyle from a nerdy, badly-dressed Jew into an incredibly hot, sexy and kewl Jew. It was almost too much to bare - Kyle wasn't supposed to make him feel like this. He liked girls, he had never dated any or even kissed one since Wendy back in elementary school - but still.

Cartman rested forwards, onto the steering wheel, trying to focus. Remember the plan, he told himself - win the contest, go to college and get out of this crappy town. Cartman's head slipped downwards and fell against the horn. It was loud and made him jump upright. A few seconds later Kyle emerged from the house, locking the door behind himself. Eric couldn't help but eye-up the Jew as he approached the car. Kyle always had appeal but it was usually hidden behind bad hair and clothes. Not any more! Kyle looked amazing, Kyle looked beautiful and Cartman wanted the Jewish boy in a way he didn't quite understand.

Kyle opened the car door and climbed in - quickly fastening his seat-belt, "Are you sure the arcade is a good idea?" He asked.

Cartman tried to avoid looking at Kyle as he spoke, "We want to make a big splash tonight Kahl. Nothing too obvious but if anyone asks, we tell them our story."

Kyle nodded, "If that's the plan Eric."

"One last thing," Eric added, "ah want you to wear this," he handed Kyle a gift box.

Kyle took the box and opened it. Inside was a watch, "Why are you giving me a watch Eric?"

"It's your birthday present Kahl," Cartman said quietly.

"My birthday was months ago, you gave me coupons," Kyle remarked.

"No Kahl," Cartman insisted, "ah gave you this watch in private. The other gift was a blind to fool everyone," he started the car and set off.

Kyle nodded before looking more closely at his new watch. it was stainless steel with an olive green fabric strap, "It's a nice watch Eric."

Cartman was concentrating on the road, so he didn't turn as he replied, "It's a replica of the US military watch from world war two. Made to the same standards by the same company. There's a matching canvas case for it in the glove-box."

Kyle opened the glove-box and pulled out the case that was there, it was olive green to match the strap. Kyle noted that some receipts had fallen out and he reached to pick them up.

"Don't look at the receipts please Kahl," Cartman asked, "just put them back."

"Why," Kyle asked as he complied with Eric's request, "don't you trust me?"

"It's not that Kahl," Cartman told him, "when ah buy you a gift you shouldn't be wondering about how much it costs."

"That would be fine for a real boyfriend Eric," Kyle pointed out, "but we're not really dating. I need to know how much you've spent so I can pay it back later."

"Fine," Cartman sounded hurt, "the watch cost one hundred and sixty dollars, plus twenty dollars for the engraving."

"Engraving?" Kyle asked.

Kyle turned the watch over and looked closely at the back. He could clearly make out the message - Happy Birthday Kyle, Love Eric - etched into the steel.

"Don't make a big deal about it Kahl," Eric told him, "ah bought the watch a few months ago for myself, but never got around to wearing it. Ah just had it engraved today."

Kyle nodded, he was too busy trying the watch on, "How does it look?" Kyle asked when he'd finished.

Cartman risked a quick glance over, "Amazing, like the rest of you," he replied before realising the second part wasn't supposed to come out of his mouth. He tried to concentrate on his driving, hoping that Kyle wouldn't question him about his comment.

Kyle had heard Eric's slip and inside his heart was beating fast, but he knew that Cartman wasn't the type of person to willingly admit any feelings. For now he decided to play things patiently, so instead he said, "It's a mechanical watch isn't it?"

Cartman let out a sigh of relief, "Yes, ah wound it and set it to the right time for you," he paused, "you haven't said if you like it yet?"

Kyle looked at the watch, enjoying how it sat on his wrist, "I love it," he answered, "thank you Eric."

"Meh," Cartman tried to shrug it off - like it wasn't a big deal, "it's just a watch Kahl."

Cartman had parked the car in the church car park.

Kyle remembered that they were donating his old clothes before going to the arcade. As Eric was fumbling with his seat-belt, Kyle leaned over and asked, "Do you want another thank you kiss Eric?" He tried to make his voice sound seductive and teasing.

"Kahl, ah..." Cartman sounded nervous as he twisted around to face Kyle.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Kyle had leaned towards Eric and pressed their mouths together.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** The line - **My birthday was months ago, you gave me coupons** - was written when I first came up with the idea for this story. I've been waiting **so** long to use it, you have no idea._

_You may have noticed that Cartman gave Kyle a manly watch, rather than something girly, this is deliberate. Just because two guys are in a gay relationship, it doesn't mean that one of them has to dress and act like a chick (although if you do it's fine)._

_The last chapter brought me up to 100 reviews, yay! Seriously though, I'm just glad that so many people are enjoying this story. Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	20. Chapter 20

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 20**

Eric couldn't move as Kyle kissed him, part of his mind wanted him to pull back and another part wanted him to pin Kyle down and do unspeakable things to him. The conflict in his mind created an impasse - so he didn't move, he just let the kiss go on and on. Kyle smelt so good, like baby shampoo and berry pies, but Cartman was hungry for something other than food. Kyle had reached up and was holding him around the neck, the touch was gentle but made all his hair stand on end.

"Eric," Cartman was shocked by the interruption, "Eric Cartman, is that you?"

It was a voice from outside - an intruder. Someone had spoiled his moment with Kyle. Eric felt like screaming at them, raging because they had ruined his moment with Kyle - instead he turned to see who was standing by the side of the car.

"Priest Maxi," Eric said - lowering the car window, "ah'm sorry. We came to drop off some clothes for you collection but," he couldn't finish, it was rather obvious what had happened.

"You got a little distracted," Priest Maxi finished for him.

Eric nodded, "Ah'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," Kyle said, grabbing Eric's arm possessively.

"Calm down boys," Priest Maxi said, "although the church doesn't officially approve of gay relationships, I personally would rather see you gay and happy, rather than forced into straight relationships and miserable."

"So your not bothered about me and Kahl," Eric asked.

"As long as you're not wanting to get married in church," Priest Maxi smiled, "I learnt many years ago that the churches official stance and my own opinion sometimes differ."

"Ah don't think that will ever happen," Cartman pointed out, "Kahl's Jewish."

"Oh, well good luck telling your Rabbi about your relationship then," the priest said to Kyle. "Now you said that you had some clothes for me?"

Eric popped the boot before climbing out of the car, "The clothes are in two trash bags," he said as he walked around to the back. He lifted out the two bags and handed them over.

"Thank you both for your kindness," the priest said, holding the two bags in his hands. "Let me assure you that these clothes will go to families in need, regardless of faith," he turned and made his way back towards the church.

Eric slammed the boot shut and returned to his seat. Kyle must have kissed me because he saw someone walking towards the car, he thought.

"I expected him to tell us that we are both going to hell," Kyle commented.

"Ah think he gave up on my soul years ago Kahl," Cartman informed his friend, "ah doubt that anything ah do now will change his opinion either way."

Cartman started the car and drove off, as they left the car-park he quickly turned to Kyle and said, "Smart move kissing me like that Kahl. Ah might have said something off."

Kyle swallowed, he hadn't seen the priest and had only kissed Eric because he had wanted to, "Yes," he managed to answer.

"Ah did the same thing when Ike walked into the bathroom the other day," Eric continued, "it's a good trick but we'll have to think of some other ways to shut each other up or it might get suspicious."

"We could chose a code word or phrase," Kyle suggested.

"Maybe," Cartman considered Kyle's idea, "it would have to be something easy to remember and say, that would instantly snap us alert. Something that sounds normal and harmless but would instantly warn us that we were being observed or listened to."

"It would have to be something we wouldn't normally say, but at the same time, something that wouldn't sound weird to anyone who heard it," Kyle noted.

"Ah could call you sweet peh," Cartman teased.

Kyle fumed, "I already told you not to call me that, I think it sounds stupid."

"Ah think it's cute," Eric said grinning.

"It doesn't even make sense," Kyle argued.

"Kahl, pet names never make sense," Cartman explained, "sometimes even the couples who use them forget where they came from."

"But I don't like sweet pea," Kyle complained.

"That's why it works Kahl," Cartman paused to turn the car left, "it puts you on guard straight away."

"I suppose," Kyle conceded

"Now you get the fun of thinking up a name for me," Cartman reminded him.

Kyle smiled evilly and eyed Cartman up.

"Nothing insulting Kahl," Cartman reminded him, "even though you don't like your pet name, it isn't an insult."

As he finished speaking, Cartman turned the car into the mall car-park and started creeping down the rows of cars - looking for a good parking spot. He finally spied one he was happy with and expertly pulled the car to a halt inside the lines.

"Remember," Cartman reminded Kyle as they got out of the car, "we've been dating for a while so we don't need to be all over each other. the key word is subtle."

"Don't worry about me Eric," Kyle said a they made their way towards the mall entrance, "I can think on my feet."

"Ah know how smart you are Kahl," Cartman said as he wrapped his arm over Kyle's shoulder, gently guiding him towards the arcade entrance, "it's why ah chose you to enter the contest with."

Kyle couldn't help feeling slightly jealous, "You considered someone else?"

Cartman looked around, to make sure no-one else was within earshot, "Ah did consider Butters, but you were always the better choice."

"OK, so why me, not Butters?" Kyle asked, intrigued.

"Firstly Butters wouldn't be able to handle the questioning or keep his stories straight. Secondly his dad is a colossal douche and there's no way he'd let his son enter a gay couples contest."

"So you chose me over Butters because your plan had a much better chance of success?" Kyle asked. Inside he felt disappointed, was he hoping Cartman would say that he liked Kyle more?

"Look," Cartman lowered his voice, "ah'm pretty sure that Butters has a ghay crush on me. You know how he has a hard time distinguishing between reality and fantasy," Eric left the rest unsaid.

Kyle nodded, he thought about how Butters was forced to dwell inside his own mind because he was grounded so often. Creating worlds and stories inside his head because he had nothing else to do. "His dad has really screwed him up," Kyle noted.

"He's not the only kid it town like that. Most of our class need some sort of therapy," Cartman observed.

"Even you?" Kyle teased.

Cartman just turned and changed the subject, "C'mon we're running late. Stan and Wendy are waiting for us outside the arcade."

They soon made their way over to the far section of the mall and Kyle could see the flashing lights and neon. Standing out front were Stan and his girlfriend Wendy.

"Hey guys," Cartman said, catching their attention.

Both turned and froze, their greetings stripped from their mouths by the sight of Kyle.

"Dude, what has Cartman done to you?" Stan asked.

"He's made you look hot," Wendy commented as she eyed Kyle up and down.

"How many people have you told about us Stan?" Kyle asked his best friend, feeling slightly embarrassed by the attention.

"Just Wendy," Stan replied.

Kyle looked across to Wendy.

"I had to tell Bebe," Wendy confessed, "she was talking about asking you out again. It would have been cruel not to let her know."

"Knowing Bebe, half the town will know by now," Cartman pointed out, "still it's better than having to watch her hit on my boyfriend all the time."

"I didn't know it bothered you Eric," Kyle said.

"Well it did," Cartman took Kyle's hand and held it gently with both of his, "even before we got together it pissed me off. Ah just didn't know why."

Kyle smiled shyly at Eric, enjoying the closeness.

"Is that a new watch Kyle?" Wendy asked, noticing the item on the hand Cartman was holding.

Kyle nodded, "Yes, well Eric bought me it for my birthday, but I haven't been able to wear it in public until now." Kyle wondered, had Cartman held his hand in order to show off the watch? He looked into Eric's eyes and saw the grin hidden behind the neutral facial expression.

"I only wish my boyfriend was as thoughtful when it comes to birthday gifts," Wendy said, looking at Stan.

Stan's face held a pained expression, "You know that I'm no good at choosing presents Wendy."

"What did you get Stan for his last birthday Wendy?" Cartman asked.

"I bought concert tickets for a band that Stan likes," Wendy replied, "I paid for everything - food, drink, souvenir t-shirt, signed CD and the travel costs. We had a great time."

"What did Stan get you?"

Wendy grimaced, "Flowers and gift vouchers."

Cartman laughed, "You're pretty lousy at choosing gifts Stan."

Stan glared at Cartman.

"Wendy, maybe you'll have to accept that Stan isn't a good gift getter," Kyle jumped in to ease tension, "if that's his only fault you're pretty lucky."

Wendy thought about it, "I guess you're right Kyle."

"Yeh," Cartman pointed out, "you can always tell Stan what you want for your present, it's not that big a deal."

"If you want a surprise gift, you can always ask Bebe, me or even Eric to help Stan out," Kyle added.

"Surprises are overrated anyway," Cartman chipped in, "given his poor taste, would you rather Stan surprised you with his choice of engagement ring or let you choose it yourself?"

"Engagement ring," Stan spluttered, "we're way too young for anything like that."

"But Stan," Wendy said, "we should be thinking about our futures now."

"Don't worry Stan," Cartman stated, seeing Stan's blanched face, "you don't have to think about your future. Wendy has it all planned out for you."

"No she doesn't," Kyle argued, "and anyway, how would you know?"

"Ah know how people think Kahl," Cartman smiled and looked towards Wendy, "lets see - get engaged while at college, then marriage straight after, but no children until later. Am ah right?"

"But how?" Wendy looked at Cartman stunned.

"Ah even know what you were planning to say to Stan to persuade him," Cartman added, "probably something along the lines of - ah don't want to get established with my surname then have to start over with yours when we get married. You're even planning to make a big deal out of taking his last name."

"How can you know this?" Wendy asked, looking stunned.

"Meh," Cartman shrugged, like it was no big deal, "ah don't see why you can't just tell Stan the truth - that you love him so much and think he's so great that you're scared of losing him to someone else."

Wendy turned to Stan and tried to say something, "Stan I..."

"You know you're my girl Wends," Stan said taking hold of her and wrapping his arms around her.

"But Stan," Wendy started.

"I never thought I was good enough for you," Stan told her, "Especially after my shoulder injury. I might have to go to community college and work part-time."

"I love you Stan," Wendy told her boyfriend, "you're the only person I ever want to be with. I don't care if you go to college or not, all that matters is that we're together."

Stan turned Wendy around in his arms, leaned down and kissed her.

Kyle shuffled his feet uncomfortably, he felt like he was intruding on their moment.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Sorry about the slightly longer wait for this update. I had to completely remove a half-chapter length rant of Cartman's about bully's, in school and in the world after school. It pained me to cut it, since it was good stuff, but it unbalanced the chapter and didn't fit into the walking-through-the-mall time frame._

_As compensation I hope you noticed that this chapter is slightly longer than usual, I couldn't find a good place to break off and they're still not inside the arcade yet._

_Sorry also about the small amount of Stan/Wendy in this chapter slash fans. I know that a lot of people hate this pairing, even though it is pretty cannon. I just wanted to write an example of how Cartman can get inside someone's mind and discover all their secrets._

_As usual, Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	21. Chapter 21

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 21**

As they stepped into the arcade, the lights and sounds from the dozens of machines bombarded them. It wasn't well lit, the majority of the light coming from the flickering screens. The stench of teen sweat and fast-food breath was thick in the air. Kyle recognised most of the people as the same faces he saw day after day at high school. It didn't matter that they were mostly faces without names, their familiarity was enough to put him at ease.

"Lets get some change," Cartman said guiding Kyle towards the counter, "Anything new?" He asked the cashier as he slipped over a couple of twenty dollar bills.

"Cop Killer Four," answered the cashier in a bored tone, vaguely gesturing towards the far corner. Kyle remembered him as someone who had graduated from high school a couple of years ago.

"Let's go Kahl," Cartman insisted, tugging at his friend, "ah know that it's easy to get distracted here."

"I know him," Kyle glanced over his shoulder at the cashier while Cartman lead him deeper into the arcade, "he got good grades. Why is he here?"

"No scholarship and his mom couldn't afford college. He tried community college but didn't stick it. Now he works here on evenings and weekends," Cartman answered Kyle quickly.

"That sucks," Kyle said.

"That could be Stan in a couple of years time Kahl, if we don't help him," Cartman pointed out, "hell, it could be half our class."

Kyle nodded, slightly shocked, "I never thought about anyone else's future after we graduate, only my own."

"That doesn't make you selfish Kahl, just human," Cartman had found the Cop Killer Four machine and noted the crowd around it, "shit, we'll be waiting over an hour for a turn."

Kyle barely acknowledged the game, "But you did. You came up with a plan to get Stan, Kenny and yourself to college."

"Ah don't want to end up like that cashier guy Kahl," Cartman confessed, "most of my mom's gentlemen friends are just like him - only older. Married with kids before they even knew who they were. Forced into a crappy job that they hate and bores them sick. trapped into a life with no real prospects. That's why so many of the men in this town drink themselves stupid or hook up with my mom. They want to be oblivious for a few hours. They want an exciting sex life, filled with fantasy. They want something that they know they can never have."

"And you want something more for yourself," Kyle looked at Cartman with sympathy.

"Do you blame me Kahl? All ah'll ever be to this town is Cartman the Fat-ass, the bastard son of a whore, the racist and hate-filled kid who treats everyone like shit. Ah've been counting the days until ah can leave this town for years," Cartman sank down, leaning against the machine behind him, "years."

"It's OK Eric, I understand," Kyle tried to console the larger boy.

"No you don't Kahl, not really," Cartman replied, "but that's not your fault. You work hard and your parents support you and push you to succeed. Everything that you achieve, in the future, you'll deserve because you've earned it."

"Sometimes they push me too hard," Kyle said quietly, "sometimes they make me feel so stressed with all the pressure they put on me."

"Ah guess there's more than one way for parents to screw up their kid," Cartman commented as he looked around.

Kyle guessed that Cartman wanted to switch to a lighter topic of conversation, "So should we wait here or try one of the other games."

Cartman raised an eyebrow and looked at His friend, "We didn't come here to play games Kahl," he reminded.

"Oh, right," Kyle said and stepped towards Cartman, initiating a kiss.

Cartman wrapped an arm around Kyle, pulling him closer. He broke off the kiss and whispered to Kyle, "It's working, people are starting to look at us."

Right then, kyle didn't care if the whole world saw him. Being in Cartman's arms felt so right, Kyle wanted the moment to never end. He tilted his head and started grazing on Eric's neck.

"Oh yes," Cartman moaned - taken aback by the contact, "that feels so good."

Kyle sniggered at Cartman's response before he continued, sending a flurry of gentle kisses along Eric's neck and jaw - working his way to the lips.

By now Cartman had stopped people-watching and was giving all his attention to Kyle. He slid a hand slowly down the Jewish boy's back and gripped Kyle's ass. Kyle responded by reaching up and running a hand through Eric's hair, his tongue exploring the fat boy's mouth.

Sadly for Kyle and Eric, noise from around them started to intrude on their moment. They broke apart and Kyle turned to view the crowd of people that had gathered around them.

"So it's true then," Clyde asked. He was wearing his usual red letterman jacket and standing along-side his friends Token, Craig and Tweek.

"If you mean me dating Eric, then yes," Kyle answered. Cartman placed a protective arm around Kyle's waist.

"Arrg, Cartman's brain-washed Kyle!" Tweek shouted, scurrying behind Craig.

Cartman growled and tried to move towards the twitching blonde but Kyle prevented him with a restraining hand on Eric's chest, "No Tweek," Kyle said, "we've been dating in secret for months. We finally decided to out ourselves."

"But why," Token asked, "wouldn't it have been easier to wait until you finished high school?"

"That's what we originally planned," Cartman replied, "but after a friend ah had on-line killed himself, we decided to enter that ghay couples contest to promote ghay teen awareness."

"So your on-line friend was gay?" Token questioned.

"Yes," Cartman answered, "ah met him on the Ghay Teen America website. He had a hard time because his parents were hard-line religious ghay-bashers. He posted a message saying that he was going to kill himself and that was the last time he was on-line."

Cartman appeared distressed and Kyle gripped him and hugged him tightly, before remembering that the on-line friend never existed. "It's OK Eric, I'm here," Kyle said in a soothing voice.

Cartman straightened up and wiped a tear away from his reddening eyes, "There's not much chance of us winning, but if we did the prize money could help with college and stuff."

"I think I've seen the ads for that," Clyde commented, "doesn't the prize include an apartment or something?"

Kyle nodded, "It's a five year lease on an apartment in Denver," he told them, "it would be great to be able to live together while at college."

"It would be so kewl if you guys won," said Craig, noticeably holding Tweek around the shoulders, "there are so many parents who treat gay kids like they've committed a major crime or like they're mentally ill."

"Your dad is pretty homophobic, isn't he Craig," Cartman noted.

"Yeah," Craig answered, not saying any more.

"If you win, it would be a win for gay teens everywhere," Tweek said, pressing closer to Craig and trembling.

"And a win for South Park," Clyde added.

Clyde's words seemed to rouse the competitive spirit of the crowd, with many of them issuing words of support.

"Thank you," Cartman smiled, "if you really want to help - a film crew is coming here tomorrow, for a few days, to film me and Kahl and to interview our parents and friends."

"Don't worry," Token said, "we'll make them feel welcome."

"And tell them what a great couple you are," Clyde added.

Cartman beamed at them, "This means so much to us," he told the crowd, "all of you are so kewl, seriously."

Just then a blonde-haired figure pushed her way through the crowd, it was Bebe and her eyes were fixed on Kyle, "You're gay," she said staring at the Jewish boy.

"Yes," Kyle answered.

"You look really good," she responded with.

"Eric chose my whole new wardrobe," Kyle told her, slightly embarrassed, "I got a hair cut too," he took off his hat to reveal his shorter hair.

"Cartman gave you a make-over," Bebe's eyes travelled all over Kyle, making him feel uncomfortable, "he's done an amazing job."

Kyle crammed his hat back on, "Eric deserves all the credit. He had to talk me into the new look and he paid for everything."

The eyes of everyone in the crowd switched to Cartman.

"You bought Kyle a whole new wardrobe?" Clyde asked, unconvinced.

"Yes," Cartman answered, "ah hadn't been able to get Kyle anything while we were dating in secret, so I went a bit over-the-top."

"Way to set the bar Cartman," Clyde commented, "now everybody's girlfriend will be on at them to spend as much as you. I can just hear them saying, why can't you be more generous like Cartman."

"We're not all shallow like that Clyde," Bebe said angrily.

"Says the girl who only dated me for free shoes," Clyde retorted.

"That was years ago," Bebe responded, "and I've apologised for it many times. I'm not like that any more, I believe that girls should pay their share."

"Like that's ever going to happen," Clyde snapped, "all the girls in this town are leaches and parasites."

No-one was surprised at how bitter Clyde sounded, after the list fiasco he had sworn off dating. Only hooking up with girls at party's and dumping them the next day.

"South Park girls are nice if you give them a chance Clyde," Bebe insisted.

"I've yet to see it," Clyde said cynically.

"I'll prove it to you Clyde," Bebe said, "I'll take you out on a date and pay for everything."

"One date," Clyde responded, "that's just a meaningless gesture."

Cartman stepped in, "Clyde's right," he told Bebe, "date him for a month and share the bills. You both have to buy each other presents as well. At the end of the month Kahl will check all the receipts and decide which of you is right."

"Fine," Clyde said staring at Bebe.

"Fine," she replied accepting the challenge.

Kyle grabbed Cartman's arm and pulled him to one side, "What are you doing Eric?"

"With any luck, getting Bebe off your back for good," Eric answered, looking rather pleased with himself.

"You think her and Clyde will hook up?" Kyle asked.

"Ah doubt that they'll be looking for you in a months time with armfuls of receipts," Cartman told Kyle, "more likely that they'll be so into each other that any talk of a bet will be forgotten."

"Craig and Tweek are dating," noted Kyle, "aren't they?"

Cartman smiled at Kyle and wrapped an arm over his shoulder, "They've been seeing each other in secret for nearly two years."

"How do you know all this?" Kyle asked, stunned.

"Ah told you Kahl," Cartman smirked, "ah know how people think. It's not hard to read the signs."

"You've just manipulated everyone into helping us win the contest and got Clyde and Bebe to date each other," Kyle was slightly awed and slightly disgusted with Cartman's talents.

"Look Kahl," Cartman told his friend, "Craig and Tweek can't come out as a couple themselves but by helping us it makes them feel better about their own relationship. As for Clyde and Bebe, if you told them the truth a month from now, they'd probably thank me."

"But it doesn't make it right," Kyle argued.

"Do you want me to get their bet called off?" Cartman asked, "Do you want Clyde to never be able to trust a girl, for the rest of his life and end up bitter and alone? Do you want Bebe to stalk you and maybe ruin our chances to win the contest?"

"When you put it like that," Kyle conceded.

Cartman interrupted him, pulling him towards the now vacant video game, "C'mon Kahl, it's our turn to play Cop Killer Four."

* * *

Kyle was really getting into the game. He had just cleared the level where he had to break into a police lock-up and rescue all your gang members. he had set a 98 percent score, much to the appreciation of the crowd. Not everyone was so friendly though.

"Why are you playing that game queer?" A voice said from the back of the crowd of people around the new game.

The crowd parted to reveal a big well-built guy Kyle vaguely recognised as an ex-football player. Someone who'd been on the team when Kyle was just a freshman. Obviously the guy hadn't been good enough to earn a college scholarship, but he was still mean-looking and apparently spoiling for a fight.

"Do you have a problem with me?" Kyle asked politely.

"A faggot like you shouldn't be playing a violent game like that. You should be playing one of those girly games with unicorns, princesses and rainbows," the guy answered with a sneer.

Both Kyle and Cartman stood up and Cartman tried to move in front of Kyle to protect him. Kyle placed a hand on the larger boy, to hold him back.

"You seen to know a lot about girly games," Kyle commented. Some of the crowd laughed.

This did it for the thug, he charged at Kyle swinging a large fist. Kyle casually tilted his body to dodge the blow before slamming the heel of his hand, hard, into the meat-head's nose. The sickening crunch of bone could be heard above the sounds of arcade machines and background chatter. Kyle followed it with a knee into the stomach before stepping back. The guy was now rolling around on the floor, in pain.

Kyle raised a foot, as if to kick the rolling mass, but didn't - instead he leant over and stated, "Six years of martial arts training, bitch."

All the crowd were clapping and cheering as Cartman pulled Kyle into a hug.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Firstly, apology's for the longer than usual wait for this chapter. I've had a chest infection and it tends to trigger my asthma if I push myself. Also my laptop crashed, just as I was about to start typing (I've only had it since Christmas last year, 8 months), so I've had to type this up on my 4 year old laptop with the crappy keyboard. You can imagine how annoying this has all been._

_On a brighter note this is the longest chapter yet. I don't know why the chapters seem to be getting longer, it's not deliberate or anything (lol)._

_Some of you may not like the video game Eric and Kyle were playing at the arcade. Yes I made the name up and yes I know it's slightly controversial. In a world filled with games like Saints Row and GTA, where killing the police and civilians is a part of the game. Is it so hard to imagine a video game publisher using a name like Cop Killer, just for the massive amount of negative press it would generate. Remember, the more offended the right-wing press gets the more kewl a game becomes to some people. Think back to the first Mortal Combat game, average game play but with photo-realistic characters and gruesome finishing moves. It got a lot of press and subsequently big sales. Please bare in mind that I have nothing but respect for law enforcement officers the world over, they do a dangerous job and get little gratitude in return._

_I also introduced two more pairings in this story, Craig/Tweek and Clyde/Bebe. Don't worry they are just mentioned in passing and this story's main focus will always be on Cartman and Kyle. So if you dislike either of those pairings, sorry._

_Kyman love to you all, cell12._

_P.S. Is the Kyman love thing catching on with anyone? I've been saying it to family and friends, who now think I'm weird (lol). Kyman hugs and kisses too, cell12._


	22. Chapter 22

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 22**

It hadn't taken long for the police to arrive after the fight. The officers had taken brief statements from everyone there along with their names and addresses. While one officer dragged the thug away the other had stopped to speak to Kyle. Kyle hadn't wanted to make a big deal out of the incident but the officer insisted that it was a hate crime and that if Kyle pressed charges, the meat-head would be looking at some serious jail time.

Kyle was considering telling the officer that he didn't want to press charges before Cartman stopped him, "Kahl the guy's not a bully in school, he's an adult and he deserves to be punished like one. If you let him get away with this, he'll take it as a green light to do the same again," Cartman held Kyle's hand protectively, "the next person that he attacks might not be able to defend himself like you can. Ah don't think that you would be able to live with yourself if you let him get away with attacking you and then he went out and hurt someone else."

"You're friend's right Mr Broflovski," the officer added, "people like that become arrogant when they get away with a crime. It makes them more likely to continue breaking the law, their level of violence usually escalates too."

"Ah'm not just his friend," Cartman informed the police officer, "ah'm his boyfriend." He turned to Kyle, "That piece of shit chose to pick on you, rather than me, because he saw you as smaller and weaker. He's a coward and this time he got burned."

Eric was right, he would blame himself if someone else was attacked after he let the man off, "I need to speak to my father, he's a lawyer," Kyle told the officer, "but I think I want to press charges."

"Broflovski," the police office thought for a second, "I think I know your dad, he's a good man. Tell him to contact us in the next day or so, so we can take an official statement from you."

Kyle nodded and accepted the card the officer handed to him.

"I'm sorry Cartman," Kyle said, forgetting to call him Eric, "I guess your plans for this evening are ruined. I just don't feel like being around people right now."

"Ah understand Kahl," Cartman placed a hand gently on Kyle's arm and helped him up, "when your adrenaline was pumping and you had no time the think, you were fine - but now you've had the time to calm down and think about what happened. You didn't like having to hurt that person, it's not who you are."

Kyle nodded, grateful for Eric's kind words.

"Ah think ah can see Stan and Wendy waiting to see you," Cartman gently lead Kyle over to the arcade's entrance.

"Kyle," Stan said, throwing himself at his friend and hugging him, "are you alright, are you hurt?"

"Hurt," Cartman scoffed, "Kahl's too much of a man to let a loser like that hurt him."

"You look pretty shaken," Wendy said, placing a concerned hand on Kyle's arm after Stan had let him go.

"I feel a bit sick," Kyle admitted.

"Kahl wasn't physically hurt but having to protect yourself from someone like that isn't pleasant," Cartman stood protectively next to Kyle. "It was also the first time Kahl has had to deal with any homophobia," Eric told them.

Wendy had tears in her eyes ans Stan hugged Kyle again, "You're worth a million of that guy," Stan told his friend.

"Ah'm taking Kyle to my house, to help him calm down. Then he has to call his parents to let them know what happened," Cartman explained.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Stan asked Kyle.

"Ah'm perfectly capable of looking after mah boyfriend," Cartman bristled.

Stan turned to Cartman, "Sorry dude, I know you will take good care of Kyle, I just want to be there for my friend."

"Ah'm sorry too Stan," Cartman apologised, "ah think ah'm blaming myself because it was my idea to come here on our date."

Kyle straightened himself up, "I don't need to be babied guys," he told his friends, "I just don't feel like being around people who will want to ask hundreds of stupid questions."

Stan nodded, understanding, "You just want to spend some quiet time with your boyfriend."

"We can order take-out, your choice," Cartman suggested, "or ah can cook for you."

"You can cook," Kyle managed a smile as he looked at Eric.

"What can ah say," Cartman grinned, tapping his hands on his belly, "ah like my food."

Stan was taken aback by Cartman's words, "You're admitting to being fat," he asked in disbelief.

"Ah'm not fat," Cartman instantly snapped, "ah'm nice to cuddle."

"He's a cuddle monster," Kyle added without thinking.

Cartman quickly wrapped his arms around Kyle, "Ah'm your cuddle monster," he said.

Stan sniggered, "I can't believe how much you've tamed Cartman, Kyle," he said, ignoring a fierce glare from the Fat-ass, "you've actually got him to act like a caring human being."

"Ay," Cartman intoned.

"It's not like that Stan," Kyle explained, "Eric has a lot of crap that he has to deal with, but deep down he's a good person."

Cartman felt uncomfortable with the complement. He tried to think of something clever to say but his mind was coming up blank.

"Stan, let's give Kyle and Eric some space," Wendy tugged at Stan's arm, "we don't want to intrude on their date."

Stan allowed himself to be pulled backwards and away, "Call me tomorrow Kyle," he said before turning and putting his arm around Wendy.

Cartman kept a protective arm around Kyle as he gently lead him out of the mall and to his car. It wasn't until they had pulled out of the car-park that Eric spoke.

"Ah'm sorry Kahl," Cartman said, "if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had to fight that loser."

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked, although he suspected that he already knew the answer.

"He attacked you because of our pretend ghay relationship," Cartman replied, "he attacked you because ah made you dress to catch people's attention. He attacked you because he was too much of a coward to attack me."

"Not your fault Eric," Kyle told the larger boy, "if he wasn't trying to beat me up, for being gay, it would have been someone else. He hates his life, so he hits out at people to make himself feel better."

"He didn't count on running into your kick-ass skills though," Cartman reached forward to adjust the car's heating, "you looked so confident when he attacked you."

"I only took martial arts classes to help with my anger management issues," Kyle admitted, "I guess that I've got you to thank for that."

Cartman turned his head briefly to smile at Kyle before returning his eyes to the road.

"After a while I started to enjoy them," Kyle continued, "I've been taking the classes for six years now. I've never been that bothered about earning the belts or entering tournaments though."

"You spanked his ass like a Jew-ninja," Cartman laughed.

"Cartman," Kyle exclaimed, but he couldn't hide that he was laughing at the comment.

"Kahl the ginger, Jew-ninja," Cartman added, "that sounds like a really kewl TV show."

"Or a really lame one dumb-ass," Kyle retorted, nudging Eric's shoulder.

"Ah was just trying to cheer you up," Cartman said pouting.

"It's worked," Kyle told him, "now can we change the subject please."

"We could talk about tomorrow," Cartman suggested, "ah already sent the contest organisers an e-mail with all those video files and photos we mentioned. Ah also told them about that news item, the one you don't like me to talk about."

Kyle sighed, for a brief time Cartman was acting like a friend, you could even say he was acting like a boyfriend. It had been nice. It would be so easy to start thinking that their relationship was real, but it was impossible to know what Cartman wanted - what Eric wanted.

Cartman had noticed that Kyle had drifted off into his thoughts, "You don't want to talk about the contest, do you?" He asked insightfully.

"Not really," Kyle admitted, "I just want to forget about everything stressful for one night."

"You've still got to phone you dad and tell him about what happened," Cartman reminded, "you can do that while ah'm cooking."

Kyle nodded, knowing how his mother over-reacted to everything, it wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to. Having to go through the events again and again was so draining.

"What are you planning to cook for me Eric?" Kyle asked.

"Ah'm thinking a nice vegetable stir-fry," Cartman replied, "it's tasty and doesn't take long to cook."

"Sounds good," Kyle replied as Eric turned the car.

Soon they were driving past Stan's house, the Kyle's. It wasn't long before Cartman was pulling up in his driveway.

"Ah guess our first date was a bust, eh?" Cartman said jokingly, before stepping out of the car and trudging to the door.

"The night's not over yet," Kyle answered under his breath, before following his friend.

Cartman unlocked the front door and activated his car alarm before entering.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I am so frustrated with the delay for this chapter. My secret target, when I started this story, was to aim for two chapters a week. I was managing this nicely, even with the longer chapters. Sadly my laptop died (see last chapter's Authors Notes) and now I have to use the spare, which my dad monopolises most of the time. If I get the computer for one hour a day, to check my e-mails and to read other people's stories, I'm lucky. I've had this chapter finished since Wednesday, but wasn't able to type it up until today, Saturday. My dad doesn't seen to understand that Kyman had priority over everything else._

_Thanx for all the reviews comments and kind words - they help, they really do._

_Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	23. Chapter 23

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 23**

Kyle followed Cartman inside and closed the door. Unlike his house, Eric's home was less welcoming. It was hard for Kyle to put a finger upon the exact reason why. Although he suspected it was because his house was a family home and it felt like one, Eric's wasn't and didn't.

"Ah'll turn the heating up so we'll be nice and cosy," Cartman said as he adjusted the thermostat on the wall.

Kyle pulled off his jacket and hung it up, "Should I use my mobile to call my dad?" He asked.

Cartman was already on his way into the kitchen, "Which ever you prefer Kahl," he replied, "the phone is over there if you want it."

Kyle picked up the handset and tapped in his dad's mobile number. He just hoped that he could explain everything to his father and hang up, before his mom got wind of what had happened and decided to make it all about her.

"Hello," Kyle instantly felt reassured by his father's calm voice.

"Hi dad, I'm calling from Eric's house," Kyle wanted to explain things quickly, "something happened while I was out with Eric."

"Are you alright Kyle?" Gerald asked.

"I'm fine dad," Kyle replied, "I'm not in any trouble either."

"Maybe you better tell me what happened," Kyle could hear the concern in his father's voice.

* * *

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Eric was finely chopping some vegetables For some reason he wanted to impress Kyle with his culinary skills. Kyle had always claimed that he was good-for-nothing, maybe it was time to prove otherwise. On the stove the noodles came up to the boil so he turned them down to simmer, adding the chopped coriander to the pan. The wok was steaming and Eric threw the vegetables into the hot oil. He loved hearing that first hissing noise when the chilled vegetables hit the boiling oil, it sounded like nothing else. Smiling, Eric tossed and stirred continuously to ensure all of the vegetables cooked evenly.

Just then Kyle walked into the kitchen, "I've talked to my dad," he told Cartman.

"Is everything OK," Eric asked, keeping his eyes on the stove.

"He wanted me to come home, but I told him that I wanted to stay here," Kyle noticed the smile that filled Eric's face.

"Everything's nearly done," Cartman informed his friend as he quickly drained the noodles and dumped them into the wok, before stirring rapidly.

Kyle started to lay the table, he noticed that Cartman had only got out two plates, "Is it just us?" He asked.

Cartman nodded, "Mom won't be home till late so ah'll save some for her in that Tupperware box," he pointed with his wooden spatula at a plastic tub set on the counter, "she can heat it up in the microwave when she gets in."

Kyle wondered if Cartman was always alone like this, if he was so used to his lonely, solitary life that he felt it was normal. It would explain a lot about the larger boy's behaviour.

"Do you need any help?" Kyle asked.

Cartman thought for a second, "You could get us both something to drink, out of the fridge. There's soft drinks and wine, which ever you prefer."

Kyle opened the fridge doors, a single glance inside told Kyle that it wasn't filled with the usual junk, ready meals and unhealthy snacks. the contents looked a lot like those of the fridge at Stan's house, "What happened here?" Kyle asked.

"Ah cleared out all the crap and replaced it with normal food," Cartman told his friend, "ah thought it would make a better impression."

"What did you do with all the junk food you had in there?" Kyle asked.

"Ah dropped it off at Kenneh's house on my way to the store," Cartman explained, "ah told them that they were doing me a favour by taking all that unhealthy, processed crap off my hands."

"You gave away a fridge-full of food?" Kyle asked again, unbelieving.

"Not just the fridge Kahl," Cartman gestured to the store cupboards, "ah cleared them out as well."

Kyle walked over and pulled open a cupboard, it was the one where the Cartman's kept their cereal and other dried foods. The sugar and chocolate coated cereals were gone, in their place were boxes of muesli and plain cornflakes. The toasty tarts were gone as well, replaced by a pack of crisp-breads and the cheesy poofs - Cartman's beloved favourite snack - were replaced with flavoured rice cakes.

"You know Cartman," Kyle said, "anyone who looks at you and looks in your kitchen will know this isn't what you normally eat."

"Ah'll just say that you've persuaded me to eat more healthy," Cartman smiled, "that way you get all the credit."

Kyle blushed, why did he feel so gooey inside when Cartman smiled at him like that. He watched as Eric filled the Tupperware box before bringing the wok over to the table, setting it down on the wooden pan-rest.

"Did you get us something to drink?" Eric asked.

"Hold on a sec," Kyle replied, returning to the fridge. He peered inside again, "I can't decide."

Cartman chuckled before moving to stand next to his friend, "Not the wine," he said, "ah don't want you thinking that ah'm planning to get you drunk and seduce you."

Kyle grinned, "What if I wanted to get you drunk and seduce you?"

"A couple of bottles of wine wouldn't be enough," Cartman told him, "ah have a high alcohol tolerance. You'd need to hunt down my mom's spirits."

"Where are they?" Kyle asked cheekily.

"Ah don't think ah should tell you," Cartman replied, "anyway we both need our wits about us for tomorrow."

Kyle looked again at the soft drinks, "You've only got diet lemonade in here," he said, his eyes running over the bottles of regular cola and Dr Pepper.

"Shit," Cartman cursed, moving in closer to check for himself, "ah was so busy buying all the healthy food that ah never even thought about it. Ah'm sorry Kahl."

Kyle turned to stare at Cartman in surprise, he was genuinely mortified that he hadn't remembered about Kyle's dietary needs when it came to buying soft drinks, "It doesn't matter, I can make do with lemonade," Kyle told him.

Cartman thought for a second, "Ah could make a lemonade fruit punch," he suggested, before grabbing separate cartons of pineapple juice and grapefruit juice out of the fridge door. As he fetched a glass jug from the cupboard Eric asked Kyle, "Could you get some ice and the lemonade."

Kyle grabbed the lemonade and a tray of ice cubes, he watched as Eric poured a large slug of pineapple juice into the jug followed by a smaller amount of the grapefruit. Cartman then took the tray off Kyle and dropped half-a-dozen ice cubes into the jug.

"You pour the lemonade while ah stir," Cartman instructed.

Kyle did as Eric asked and soon it was done, "Will it taste good?" the Jewish boy asked hopefully.

Better than the straight lemonade ah should think," Cartman replied, carrying the jug to the table.

Kyle watched as Cartman poured himself a glass and took a sip, "It's not bad," Eric informed his friend, "you'll have to give it a try."

Kyle took the seat opposite Cartman and watched as the larger boy served out two generous portions of the stir-fry, he also poured out another glass of the fruit punch for Kyle.

Cartman sat and looked across at Kyle, "If ah was eating the evening meal with my mom, this is where she'd make me say grace."

"What do you do when you eat by yourself?" Kyle asked.

"Ah just eat," Cartman answered, "ah figure that god knows you're eating and he knows how you feel about things."

Kyle nodded, reaching to take a sip of his drink to break the tension, "This is really good," he declared, sounding surprised, "where did you come up with something like this? I would never think to mix fruit juice with soda."

"Ah've always liked to mix things and add stuff to food," Cartman told his friend, "when ah was a kid ah would roll butter in chocolate milk and press it between two toaster tarts."

"That sounds really unhealthy," Kyle curled his face in disgust.

"It was, but it tasted good," Cartman dug a fork into his meal and speared a large amount, "something simple like a can of beans can be improved by adding some tomato puree and a pinch of dried basil."

Kyle watched as Cartman ate his first mouthful.

"Food is like life Kahl," Cartman continued, "if you don't like what's on offer, change it or try something else."

Kyle took his first bite of the meal, "This is good as well."

"Ah've had plenty of time to learn," Cartman said bitterly.

"You do a lot of cooking then?" Kyle asked surprised.

"If my mom's here and she's sober, she does the meals," Cartman replied, "most of the time though, ah have to fend for myself."

"I have no idea how to cook," Kyle admitted, "I'll probably have to live on take-outs and ready meals when I go to college."

"You're forgetting Kahl," Cartman reminded his friend, "after we win the contest, we'll have our own apartment for college. Ah can teach you how to cook. You're a smart guy, you'll pick it up pretty quickly."

"What about Stan and Kenny?" Kyle asked.

"Ah'll teach them as well," Cartman grinned, "you didn't think ah would be doing all the cooking, did you?"

"But you look so cute in an apron," Kyle jokingly pointed out.

"Then again," Cartman thought out loud, "if ah'm doing most of the cooking, the rest of you would have to do all the other chores."

Kyle sighed, "I don't know why we're even talking about this. What are the chances of us winning the stupid contest anyway?"

"Pretty good actually Kahl," Cartman grinned, "we're one of the sixteen finalists."

"So a one in sixteen chance," Kyle said.

"That's the odds they're giving in Vegas," Cartman said without thinking.

"Cartman," Kyle stood up, shocked, "how would you know about the odds in Vegas?"

"It's just a saying Kahl," Cartman said, desperately trying to back-track.

"Kenny and his brother are on holiday in Vegas," Kyle pointed out, "Why am I thinking that it's not a coincidence?"

Cartman looked down at his lap, thinking about what he should tell Kyle, "OK, fine Kahl," he said, "ah gave Kenneh some money to bet for meh. His brother is legally old enough to gamble so ah don't see the problem."

"You bet on us to win the contest?" Kyle asked, sitting back down, "How much?"

Cartman swallowed, he really didn't want to tell Kyle everything right now, but Kyle needed to hear something, "A couple of thousand." He didn't tell Kyle that there were ten bets with ten different bookies.

"What if we loose Cartman," Kyle asked, "have you even considered that?"

"Ah don't plan to loose," Cartman stared at Kyle, "with your super-cuteness and my master-manipulation skills, ah think our odds are way better than sixteen to one."

Kyle wanted to ask Cartman about the money, where did it come from? But all he could think about was the way Eric had described him, "You think I'm super-cute?"

"Kahl," Cartman answered him, "most of the girls and about half of the straight guys were checking you out today. You're smoking-hot or super-cute or however you want to describe it."

"Were you checking me out Eric?" Kyle asked teasingly.

Cartman tried to swallow and gasp at the same time, choking on his mouthful of food. He grabbed his drink and took several large gulps.

"I'll take that as a yes," Kyle sniggered as he watched Eric's face flush with colour.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Again you may have noticed that this chapter is slightly delayed. My laptop is still broken and I suspect that the hard drive needs replacing. It's really frustrating, as I'm sure you can imagine. I have also come down with a second bout of flu, just days after getting over the first. Having to stop to blow my nose every 30 seconds isn't conjunctive to fast typing._

_As I type this, the next chapter is half-written. It's the one where you, and Kyle, finally find out where Cartman is getting his money from. I'm only mentioning this because I know a lot of you have been wondering. I have left some clues in previous chapters but they are very subtle, so you might have missed them. The truth behind Kenny's trip to Las Vegas was revealed this chapter, but I suppose most of you already guessed that one._

_Thank you for all the reviews, as well as all the favourites and alerts, Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	24. Chapter 24

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 24**

Kyle could see how uncomfortable Eric was getting with his flirting so decided to question him about the other thing that was bothering him, "So where did you get the money?"

Cartman wriggled in his seat, "Do you really want to know Kahl?" He asked, hoping to put his friend off.

"Since you used some of it to pay for my new clothes, yes Cartman," Kyle answered.

Cartman sighed, "It's my pay-out from the hospital," he answered, "well some of it anyway."

"What pay-out money?"

Cartman sighed, "The hospital gave me Aids remember, ah sued them and got a big settlement."

Kyle paused thinking, "So why didn't you just use that money to pay for college?"

"That was what was supposed to happen Kahl, the money was put into a trust for me. Some to pay for college and the rest ah would get on my twenty-first birthday," Cartman sounded pissed, "a quarter of a million dollars Kahl, plus the interest."

"What happened?" Kyle asked.

"Mah mother," Cartman spat the words, "apparently she was allowed to request small cash amounts to pay for my needs; medical bills, holidays, school tuition and such. She only needed the trustee to sign off on the amount."

"And she spent all the money on you?" Kyle was shocked.

"No Kahl," Cartman sounded angry, "she spent the money on her drugs and partying. I barely got a cent."

"How did she get the money," Kyle asked, "wouldn't the trustee check up on her?"

"He was too busy checking her out, to check up on her," Cartman's voice was tinged with disgust, "he helped her steal my trust fund. He was even planning to hide the theft behind a series of fake investment losses."

"When did you find out?" Kyle found it hard to believe that Cartman's own mother would do this to him.

"A few months ago," Cartman replied, "ah opened a letter, from the trustee, addressed to her which implied that they were sleeping together and that he had something important to discuss. Ah put two and two together and realised what was going on. It didn't take me long to find the evidence, my mom was too stupid to hide anything."

"And you didn't go to the police?"

"What would be the point Kahl? Most of the money was gone and if my mom was in jail, what would happen to me?" Cartman sighed, "Ah confronted the guy and made him give me the rest of the money, then ah told him that he had until ah'm twenty-one to make up the rest, plus interest."

"And he agreed to that?" Kyle asked.

"Ah didn't give him much choice, it was either do as ah told him or go to jail for fraud," Cartman gave Kyle and ironic smile, "you know how persuasive ah am when ah need to be."

"What about your mother," Kyle wanted to know, "did you confront her?"

"You know how she is Kahl," Cartman answered, "she probably didn't think that she was doing anything wrong."

Kyle shook his head, "How much money was there left?"

"Less than thirty thousand, not enough for me to go to college."

"So that's when you came up with the plan to enter the contest?" Kyle was intrigued.

"Pretty much," Cartman lowered his head, "ah'm sorry Kahl - for using you and for not telling you everything."

"So Kenny knows everything?" Kyle wasn't particularly upset about what Cartman had done. It wasn't Eric's fault that his mother had robbed him. Suddenly Kyle realised something, "You paid for the Vegas trip."

Cartman nodded, "Ah paid for everything; their second-hand car, their hotel, the travel costs, ah even gave them spending money."

"That's a lot of outlay for a two thousand dollar bet Cartman," Kyle wasn't stupid.

"Ten bets with ten different bookies," Cartman leaned forwards, "twenty thousand in total."

Kyle quickly did the maths in his head, "Over three hundred thousand dollars," he swallowed, "it's a lot of money if you win."

"Everything ah lost when my mother robbed me," Cartman smiled at Kyle, "enough to set up my own business when ah finish college."

"There's also the money you'll get back from that trustee," Kyle pointed out.

"Ah'm not counting on that," Cartman informed his friend, "anybody sleazy enough to rob me once is likely to try to do so again. There's every chance he'll try to abscond or fake up more paperwork."

"What sort of business would you set up?" Kyle asked interested.

"Ah've no idea," Cartman replied, "well actually ah have loads of ideas, but ah don't know enough about business to know which will be the most successful."

"This is all pretty amazing," Kyle pointed out.

"Ah know," Cartman smiled, "it's a lot to take in, in one go."

"You're that confident we'll win?" Kyle asked.

"Ah've bet my future on it," Cartman replied, "looks like we've finished dinner."

Kyle looked down at his plate, it was empty, "You're a good cook Eric, is one of your business ideas owning your own restaurant?"

Cartman nodded, his eyes alight, "That's one of my ideas Kahl. Not that ah would want to spend my life working in a kitchen. The idea would be to train up staff and build up a chain of restaurants."

"It's ambitious," Kyle commented.

"You don't think ah can do it?" Cartman looked disappointed with Kyle's remark.

"I didn't say that," Kyle insisted, "I just think that you're better at the practical and creative side of things."

"Ah would need someone good with figures and money to work with me, you mean?" Cartman questioned his friend.

Kyle nodded, "What was you other business idea?"

"Ah don't want the money to sit in the bank while ah'm in college and Kenneh's brother is really good with cars," Cartman looked animated.

Kyle thought, Kenny and his brother Kevin had both always been good at fixing and repairing things. It was probably due to them having to make-do and mend their toys as children, "Kev works in a garage and takes evening classes, doesn't he?"

Cartman nodded, "Ah happen to know that the guy Kev works for is looking to sell up and retire. It's a pretty good business," Cartman told Kyle.

"It's not very creative to just buy an established business," Kyle pointed out, "I'm not saying that it's a bad idea but I just expected something more creative from you."

Cartman smiled, "That car that ah bought for Kenneh and Kev's Vegas trip, did you know that they suped it up and did all sorts of stuff to it? There's a big demand for car modding, like in that Pimp My Ride show on MTV."

Kyle felt relieved, he was worried for a second that Cartman was planning to set up a chop-shop.

"There's more Kahl," Cartman told his friend, "a lot of people prefer the look of classic cars but want the technology and safety of a more modern vehicle. Ah don't see why you can't do both."

The idea of updating classic cars might seem sacrilegious to some car enthusiasts but Kyle could see the merits of the idea, "How many hours a day are you planning to make Kev work?" He asked.

"Ah wouldn't try to do everything at once Kahl," Cartman explained, "ah would build the business up gradually."

"So that's why Kev is helping you," Kyle pointed out, "you're bribing him with the offer of a job."

"Kahl ah swear to god, ah've never mentioned to Kev or Kenneh anything about buying the garage. He's helping me because he's a good guy who cares about his little brother's future," Cartman smiled, "although the bribe of an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas certainly helped persuade him."

Kyle didn't want to say it but Cartman was acting like a pretty decent human being, looking out for his friends. He decided not to point it out though, knowing how much Eric hated complements.

"C'mon Kahl, enough of this serious shit. Lets go and play some Xbox," Cartman had finished clearing the table and stacking the plates in the dishwasher.

Kyle followed Cartman out of the kitchen, he had a lot to think about. Now that Eric had revealed the full extent of his plans, Kyle wondered if Ike was right after all about Cartman secretly liking him. He hoped it was true, the last few days had been the most exciting and exhilarating of Kyle's life. The scheme that Cartman had created was complex but at it's heart was a simple concept - win the contest. Kyle suspected that Cartman already had plans in place to ensure that.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Did anybody guess where Cartman's money was coming from? Suing the hospital for medical negligence after they gave him Aids in the episode Tonsil Trouble (season 12 episode 1). I had to guess on the amount that a hospital would have to pay out on something like that because there's very little information out there. Hospitals probably insist on a gagging clause on any claimants._

_Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._


	25. Chapter 25

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 25**

Eric and Kyle played video games for a few hours, it was mindless but it was fun - and it took Kyle's mind off everything he had to think about. Cartman had every console and every game you could think of, he even had multiple versions of the same game.

"Why do you need two copies of this Call of Duty game?" Kyle asked, holding the two boxes in his hands.

"One's Xbox and one's Playstation," Cartman answered, "ah have friends on-line with each version, so ah need both for whipping their asses."

Kyle nodded, he knew that Stan had the Xbox version and he had heard that Craig got a PS3 just so he wouldn't have the same as Stan. It was silly really, only Cartman and Token had all the consoles.

"How did your mom pay for the consoles and all the games?" Kyle asked, thinking that some of Cartman's trust fund had been spent on him despite what he said.

"My mom is sleeping with the manager at the video game store," Cartman told his friend, "ah tell him what to get me for Christmas and birthday presents."

"The guy's married," Kyle guessed.

"His father-in-law owns the chain of stores," Cartman grinned, "he would be out of more than just a job if his cheating was ever revealed."

"You're blackmailing him," Kyle accused.

Cartman looked shocked, "Kahl if you were dating a single parent, you would buy the kid presents wouldn't you?"

Kyle sort of nodded.

"That's all this is," Cartman explained, "ah tell him what ah want as gifts and he gets them for me. Most of it he writes off as promotional items or in-store competitions."

"It still doesn't seem right," Kyle said.

"Kahl, the guy is cheating on a wife he only married so he could get his hands on her daddy's fortune," Cartman argued, "he's been seeing my mom, on a regular basis, for years. Ah think ah deserve something for all the times ah've had to listen to him in bed with my mother."

"I'm sorry Eric," Kyle said, "I can't imagine what it's like, having to deal with shit like that."

"Ah used to deny everything my mom was up to, pretend it wasn't happening and act like my life was better than everyone else s," Cartman mused. "It wasn't like ah was living in denial, ah was just too proud and ashamed to admit anything to anyone."

Kyle was struggling not to hug Cartman. The larger boy was clearly needing love and stability in his life.

"Ah act like an ass, most of the time, because it's easier," Cartman continued.

"Easier?" Kyle questioned.

"It's easier to deal with being hated by everyone than being pitied," Cartman replied.

"You could have told us," Kyle insisted, "we're your friends, we would have understood."

"Maybe now you and Stan are old enough to understand and be supportive," Cartman conceded, "but when we were younger this would just have been more ammo for you to rip on me with."

"You didn't mention Kenny," Kyle put his game controller down as he turned to face his friend.

"Kenneh's my best friend," Cartman told Kyle, "we might not have pranced around like you and Stan did but we got each other. His home and family life was shit as well, but for different reasons than mine. He used to sneak over to my house all the time and spend the night. Some nights ah would fall asleep alone on an evening and wake up with Kenneh snuggled up to me, for warmth, in the morning."

"You both should have told us how bad things were," Kyle tried to sound calm. He was feeling slightly jealous about the idea of Kenny sharing Cartman's bed - even though he knew nothing had ever happened.

"You and Stan knew and ignored it. Not that ah blame you, it's the way you were brought up," Cartman sighed, "Kenneh's parents and my mother's behaviour was ignored by the people of this town. No-one wanted to do shit to help the children who were stuck having to deal with it."

"We would have helped," Kyle started.

"Cartman stared deep into Kyle's sincere green eyes, "Maybe you would have, but do you think ah wanted anyone to know how bad things were? Do you think ah would have accepted the help?"

Kyle looked away, feeling guilty over how he had overlooked Eric's awful home life. It wasn't as if he hadn't known for years that Liane Cartman was a prostitute who used drugs, it's just that he never took the time to consider the way it had affected Cartman. He had considered it nothing more than a joke, something he could say to hurt the Fat-asses feelings when they argued.

"My life's not so bad now Kahl," Cartman said gently, noticing the guilt and pity in Kyle's face, "ah'm used to being independent and looking after myself. Ah'm older now and ah don't really need a mom any more."

"I'll always need my family," Kyle confessed, "they're part of who I am and what makes me happy."

"You're strong enough to survive without them," Cartman insisted.

"Yes I am," Kyle accepted, "but I don't have to and I wouldn't want to. Even when I go to college and after that, I'll still want my mom, dad and Ike to be a big part of my life."

A wistful look filled Cartman's face for a second, like he was trying to imagine something he would never have. Then the look was gone and Eric resumed his usual arrogant expression, "Ah suppose you think of your friends the same way?"

Kyle smiled, "It's hard to imagine a life without my best friends, we've had so many adventures together."

"Do you include me in that?" Cartman asked.

"Yes, I must be used to your insults and bad behaviour," Kyle poked at Cartman, trying to elicit a smile, "I've put up with you for this long."

Cartman struggled to hide a smile, leaning away to avoid Kyle's fingers, "It's still a little early for bed, do you fancy a hot chocolate drink?"

Kyle placed his hands on his lap, trying to look innocent, "Is it diabetic friendly?"

"It's sugar free," Cartman pulled a pained expression, "so, of course, it tastes like crap."

"You think it tastes like crap and you still want to give some to me?" Kyle teased.

"You'll probably like it," Cartman answered, "since you've never tasted the good stuff."

For lack of anything better to do, Kyle followed Eric into the kitchen and stood in the doorway - watching as the larger boy worked. He recognised the jar as the same brand his mother buys for him and smiled. Of course Cartman wasn't following the instructions.

"You're supposed to put some in a mug and pour on boiling water," Kyle pointed out as he watched Cartman heating milk on the stove.

"Have you tried it like that?" Cartman asked, "It tastes disgusting! Now let me create my masterpiece."

Kyle continued to watch as Cartman poured the hot milk into the two mugs, stirring each one with a long-handled, small-headed balloon whisk until they frothed.

Kyle reached for one of the mugs, only to feel the whisk tap the back of his hand, "Patience Kahl," Cartman told his friend.

Kyle waited while Cartman grated dark diabetic Chocolate over the drinks, "Can I have it now?" He asked.

Cartman nodded, then watched as Kyle lifted to mug to his lips, "What do you think?" He asked.

Kyle sipped, "It's better, a lot better. You should try it Eric."

Cartman smiled at the complement and took a sip of his own drink, "It's still not as good as the real thing."

"Well it's the best I've ever had," Kyle insisted, putting his finished mug down.

"Ah guess ah'll have to practice Kahl-friendly recipes," Cartman said.

"Really?" Kyle felt the hope rise in his chest, was Eric subtly letting him know that he wanted them to be together - for real.

"Ah'll be stuck doing all the cooking when we go to college," Eric started rinsing the mugs out, "so ah might as well start working on some more healthy recipes now.

Kyle felt slightly put-out that Cartman wasn't thinking about spending more time with him, the larger boy was only thinking about having to share an apartment, "It will do you good to eat more healthily as well," he answered defensively.

"You don't have to keep pointing out how fat ah am Kahl, ah got the message years ago," Cartman looked really hurt as he pushed past Kyle and went to sit down.

"Please," Kyle caught Eric's arm and turned the larger boy to face him, "I don't want you to think I was trying to hurt you."

"Mah mom crammed me full of unhealthy foods from an early age. It kept me quiet and listless so ah wouldn't bother her while she was entertaining. Later on ah started comfort eating," Cartman stared at Kyle, daring him to comment, "sometimes food was the only thing ah could turn to."

"And now?" Kyle asked.

"Any time ah'm upset or really angry ah start eating junk food," Cartman confessed, "sometimes ah go weeks, eating healthy and losing weight. Then something bad happens and ah have a junk food binge. Of course then the guilt and self-loathing kick in and finally the depression and more comfort eating. It's a cycle ah've been stuck on all my life."

"I didn't know," Kyle tried to comfort Cartman.

"You think that ah wanted to be fat Kahl? No fat kid wants to be fat," Cartman told his friend, "there are usually reasons behind the eating, you just have to look for them."

"You use food as a way to cope with your problems?" Kyle asked.

"Who was there for me to turn to?" Cartman spat, "My mom? It's impossible to have a normal conversation with her. Ah don't have any other family that ah'm close to. My friends, the same friends who call me Fat-ass all the time and treat me like shit? A teacher? Hell no, can you imagine any of the teachers at school caring enough to help a pupil with their problems?"

"I'm here now," Kyle told Cartman. The larger boy stared at Kyle, unbelieving, "Not just because of the contest, you're my friend and I care about you."

Cartman started to move towards the stairs, "Kahl, ah just want to forget about all this shit. We have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow and we'll need our wits about us."

"Am I sleeping in your bed?" Kyle asked.

"It won't be so bad tonight Kahl," Cartman told him, "ah have a double bed and no-one will be expecting us to be hugging and cuddling."

Kyle felt disappointed by Cartman's words, "What if we end up cuddling in our sleep?"

"Ah'll try to be careful," Cartman joked, "ah wouldn't want you to kick my ass with your Jew-ninja skills."

Kyle followed Eric upstairs and into his room, they undressed in silence and soon were both brushing their teeth in the bathroom.

"Did you think up a pet name for me?" Cartman asked.

"Not really," Kyle answered, "there hasn't been a lot of time for me to sit and think."

"Hmmm," Cartman's mouth was full of paste as he brushed.

"I could go with that thing I called you at the arcade," Kyle suggested, "cuddle monster."

Cartman spat out the paste, "Ah guess that's fine, it's not too embarrassing anyway."

Kyle left the bathroom with Cartman behind him, turning out the lights as he went. When he entered the bedroom, Eric turned out the main light leaving the room lit only by the bedside lamp.

"You know something Kahl," Cartman said sneakily. Kyle knew Eric was up to something, he could hear the mischief in his voice.

"What," Kyle answered, returning Cartman's playful tone.

Kyle felt Eric wrap his arms around his shoulders and hug him, "Cuddle monster loves his sweet peh," he joked as they started to play-wrestle with each other.

Kyle laughed, "Sweet pea loves his cuddle monster," he replied, grinning.

They wrestled for a few more seconds before spilling onto the bed, laughing.

"You never used to be this much fun," Kyle commented.

"We never trusted each other enough to hang out like this," Cartman replied, making no move to untangle himself from the Jewish boy.

"When this is over," Kyle said, "I don't want to go back to how we were before."

"Ah don't think we can Kahl," Cartman sniggered, "once you've sucked face with someone, you have to become friends - it's kind-of a rule."

Kyle snorted, "I never thought I'd see the day, Eric Cartman wants to be friends with me."

"Jew rat," Cartman joked, tickling the smaller boy.

Kyle tried to thrash his legs but they were pinned in-between Eric's. Instead he settled for tickling the larger boy's ribs. They continued for a few minutes until both boys were breathless and Cartman called a truce.

"Kahl ah don't want you to think that ah'm all emo shit because of all the stuff ah told you," Cartman said, finally rolling off Kyle and onto his back, "ah've had a long time to deal with everything and it doesn't bother me that much any more. Ah only told you all that personal shit because you might need to know for the contest."

"I kinda figured that," Kyle replied, between large gulping breaths.

"Smart-ass Jew," Cartman muttered kindly.

"Stubborn Fat-ass," Kyle returned, turning to snuggle up to his friend, "you're nice and warm though."

But Cartman hadn't heard him, he had fallen off to sleep.

* * *

Kyle was woken from a rather pleasant dream by loud noises coming from downstairs. It actually took him a few seconds to realise that he was at Eric's house and that the reason why he was so comfortable was because he was snuggled up in Cartman's arms. He didn't want to fully wake up, he didn't want to move but the noises continued and they were intrusive.

Kyle felt Cartman shift against him, "God-dammit," the larger boy muttered, "she had to do this tonight."

"What's going on?" Kyle asked as he shifted off his friend.

"My mother's home," Cartman replied, his voice set like stone.

Kyle heard the click of the bedside lamp being turned on and screwed his eyes against the light, "Is she alright?"

"One night," Cartman hadn't appeared to hear Kyle's question, "all ah asked is for her to behave herself for one night."

Kyle followed Cartman as he went out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Cartman stopped at the foot of the stairs and Kyle had to lean to one side to peer around him. What he saw was quite shocking. The front door was wide open and Liane Cartman was lying passed-out on the floor in the living room. She was dressed in an incredibly slutty outfit consisting of; leather mini skirt and jacket, fishnet stockings and bright red high-heels. Her face was plastered with make-up - although most of it appeared to be smudged. Her bag was tossed, casually, to one side - it's contents partly spilling out. Kyle could clearly see the bags of white powder, standing out in the low lighting. Her keys were still hanging in the door and her clothes appeared dishevelled, like she'd put them back on in a hurry. There was a clear odour of strong drink and marijuana, Kyle recognised the drink smell from Kenny's house and his occasional run-ins with a drunken Randy Marsh. It wasn't just fresh drunk though, it was the smell of vomit and stale alcohol. He knew the scent of weed from the kids who smoked it round the back of the school, but have never realised it could be so pungent.

"What happened to her?" Kyle asked as he watched Cartman drag her fully into the house, look outside briefly to check on her car and close the front door.

"The usual," Cartman replied, he was clearly not happy. Cartman pushed the bag closed, after cramming the spilt-out contents back in, and slipped it over his arm.

Kyle watched as Cartman lifted his mother and carried her up the stairs, "Is it always like this?" He asked.

"No," Cartman replied, "sometimes she doesn't make it home. Sometimes she brings her clients here. You never know from one night to the next, always a surprise, always fun," his voice dripped with sarcastic venom.

By now Cartman had carried his mother into her room and placed her on the bed. He was using a wipe to remove the worst of her make-up.

"How long have you been doing this for her?" Kyle asked, too stunned to feel embarrassed for asking.

"When ah was little ah wasn't strong enough to carry her up the stairs, so ah used to just help her onto the sofa," Cartman had stripped his mother down to her underwear and was tucking her into the bed.

"Has it always been this bad?" Kyle wondered, he was asking himself more than Eric, "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"No it wasn't always this bad Kahl," Cartman replied, his voice soft, "she can't handle the drugs and drink as much as she could a few years back."

Kyle watched as Cartman propped a spare pillow behind his mother, "It's to stop her rolling onto her back and choking to death on her own vomit," Eric told his friend, after seeing Kyle's puzzled expression.

Kyle couldn't think of anything to say, the Eric Cartman he was seeing right now seemed so defeated and so hurt. His bravado and usual bluster stripped away revealing a desperately lonely person underneath.

Cartman lead Kyle back into the bedroom, once there he turned to face his friend, "Kahl ah'm sorry that you had to see that."

Kyle couldn't help but contrast his own parents against Liane's behaviour. Offering up a silent prayer to Moses that he had been born so lucky. He remembered what Eric had said about preferring hate to pity, "It's OK Eric, you can't be held responsible for her actions. If anything, I think more of you, knowing what you've had to deal with all these years."

"Can we just go to bed," Cartman asked, "ah just want this day over with."

They climbed back into bed and Eric switched out the lamp. Kyle immediately moved across to cuddle against Cartman.

"Ah'm OK Kahl," Cartman whispered, "ah don't need comforting like a child."

Kyle knew that Eric did need comforting, he just would never admit it, "I'm a bit cold," he lied, "could you just hold me and warm me up?"

Cartman wrapped his arms around Kyle, not speaking. Kyle snuggled in, resting his head on Eric's shoulder.

"Ah'm glad we're friends now," Cartman spoke softly, pulling Kyle against him, like a comforter.

Kyle chose not to answer, he was too relaxed and sleepy. All his tension seemed to melt away when he was in Eric's embrace.

"Are you asleep Kahl," Cartman's voice was broken and choppy, it sounded so vulnerable and sad.

Kyle could hardly believe it, Cartman was crying. He felt Eric's chest rise and shudder as the larger boy tried to control his sobs. Kyle couldn't help himself, he lifted up and turned to face a surprised Cartman, "Don't cry Eric," he said, bringing their faces together and giving his friend a gentle kiss.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** A double sized chapter, I hope you all enjoy it. The chapter originally ended when Kyle and Cartman first went to sleep, but the second part seemed too short to be a chapter on it's own, so I added it on._

_To answer the question posed by xXrainbowflowerXx, I'm not from the US so I struggle a bit when it comes to things like; how old you are for each grade, and what grades are elementary, middle and high school. Cartman is old enough to drive and they're talking about college. I always thought that this story was set in the summer break prior to their senior year starting. You can work out the ages yourself from there._

_Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._


	26. Chapter 26

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 26**

Kyle didn't really know what to expect when he awoke. He was nervous about what Eric might say and do after last night. Surprisingly Cartman was rather calm about the whole thing.

"Are you still tired Kahl?" Cartman asked when he saw the Jewish boy moving.

"A bit," Kyle admitted.

"You're probably not used to having your sleep disrupted," Cartman surmised, "if you need another couple of hours, it's fine. Ah don't expect the film crew to turn up until after ten."

"About last night," Kyle started.

"Don't worry about it Kahl," Cartman told him gently, "ah know that you were just trying to comfort me and make me feel better."

"Yeah," Kyle lapsed back into the bed. It felt strangely empty and lonely without Cartman's presence.

"Ah appreciate it Kahl," Cartman smiled, "you were being a good friend to me - even though ah don't really deserve it."

Kyle tried to protest but Cartman raised his hands up to stop him.

"Ah know that ah'm not the easiest person in the world to get on with," Cartman was looking away out of embarrassment.

Kyle watched as Eric slipped out of the room and a few seconds later he could hear the shower running. He grabbed Eric's pillow and pulled it to his chest, cuddling it close and pressing his face into it, to enjoy the scent. It smelt of Eric and, to Kyle, it smelt wonderful. Kyle closed his eyes, promising himself that he would only rest for the five minutes Cartman would take in the shower but despite his efforts he quickly nodded back off to sleep.

* * *

It's half eight Kahl," Cartman said, gently resting a hand on his friend's shoulder and rocking him awake.

"Kiss me again," Kyle mumbled, still half-asleep and still enjoying the remains of a dream that, even now, he couldn't recall.

"Come on Kahl," Cartman insisted, "a shower will wake you up. Ah've made scrambled eggs for breakfast."

Kyle sat up at the thought of food, a good breakfast was, just about, worth getting up for.

"Your clothes are already picked out for you," Cartman gestured towards a neat pile sitting on his computer chair, "they're extra sexy today because, well, you know."

"Thanks Eric," Kyle said, stretching.

"Ah've just got to go check on my mother," Cartman said as he retreated out of the room.

Kyle pulled himself out of bed and padded, barefoot, to the bathroom. It didn't take long to drop his shirt and shorts in the laundry basket and then he was being his by the warm and soothing water. Cartman was right about the shower waking him up, then again Cartman was right about a lot of things. That particular idea didn't bother Kyle as much as he thought it might, in fact it didn't really bother him at all. Kyle was a strong person. He was a person who was always ready to accept his own feelings and acknowledge them. As such he had recognised that he did have an attraction to Eric. He wasn't in love with him but he could be, so very easily.

If Cartman had asked him out on a date, just a few days ago, he would have rejected the larger boy out of hand. He would have probably sent him away with a barrage of insults, but now, now he had seen a softer and more gentle Cartman. Now he had met Eric. A guy who had a crappy life but instead of complaining all the time just got on with things. A guy who cared about his friends and did everything he could to help them but who would deny everything if you ever tried to thank him. A guy who took care of the mother who was responsible for making his life so awful, without complaint and with a quiet dignity that Kyle admired. A guy who was gentle and kind and funny. It was still Cartman, he was still manipulative and scheming but Kyle had finally seen what was beneath the surface and he, kind of, liked what he had found.

Kyle finished scrubbing himself down with Eric's tropical shower gel, he recognised it as the one Cartman always used and smelled of. He turned in the warm water, rinsing himself off, then stopped the water and stepped out of the shower. He then dried off with the towel that had been left of the heated towel rail for him, before wrapping it around his waist and returning to the bedroom.

Kyle quickly dressed in the outfit Eric had selected for him; deep dyed indigo jeans, dark blue t-shirt and a soft cotton track-suit jacket in gold. He was also surprised to see a shoe box sitting underneath his pile of clothes. When he opened it, Kyle saw an amazing pair of suede trainers also in the same indigo blue. They had already been laced and were in his size, Kyle took them out of the box and tried them on. They looked good - even to Kyle who didn't usually bother about these things. He hurried downstairs to get Cartman's opinion on how he looked and to get the breakfast he was, more than, ready for.

Cartman couldn't hide his smile as Kyle entered the kitchen, "You look good," he complemented, "even though you forgot to gel your hair."

Kyle raised a hand to his, still damp, head and grinned, "I was in a hurry for breakfast," he admitted, "I'll do it when I go up to brush my teeth."

Cartman nodded, "You can use my electric razor while you're up there, if you want," he turned back to the stove, "help yourself to fruit juice."

Kyle fetched himself a glass of orange juice and sat down at the table. He watched as Eric served a large portion of eggs onto a plate and added some strips of what looked like bacon. He looked up at his friend, puzzled, as the plate was placed in front of him.

"They're turkey rashers, if you're wondering," Cartman said, noticing Kyle's expression, "ah tried them myself the other day, in a sandwich, and ah have to say they're not bad."

Kyle broke off a piece and jabbed it with his fork. Cartman was right about the turkey rashers, they were good, but the eggs - they were out of this world.

"What did you do to the eggs to make them taste this good?" Kyle couldn't help but ask.

"Sour cream and chives," Cartman answered, he appeared to be hacking away at a pineapple with a large knife.

"Like Pringles?" Kyle joked, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yes exactly like that," Cartman paused to turn to Kyle, "where do you think ah got the idea from?"

Kyle ate another forkful, "You have a weird way of creating you recipes."

"Not really Kahl," Cartman had returned to his chopping, "you've eaten a cheese omelette before, haven't you?"

Kyle nodded, as he finished the last of the eggs on his plate.

"Does your mom make it with onions?"

"Sometimes," Kyle answered, swirling the last of his juice around in the glass, "she also throws in other things; mushrooms, peppers, left-overs, anything in the fridge really."

Cartman nodded, "If ah put cheese into scrambled eggs it would just turn into a huge lump in the pan," he explained, "so ah tried sour cream - which has a similar taste."

"And the chives?" Kyle asked.

"They cook so much faster than an onion," Cartman said, "it allows me to throw everything into the pan at once."

It made sense when Cartman explained it but Kyle didn't think that he could ever be so creative in the kitchen - at least not with food anyway!

"What exactly are you doing, Eric?" Kyle asked as he got up to rinse his plate for the dishwasher.

"Ah'm making table snacks for when the film crew arrive," Cartman replied, "it should help us make a good first impression."

"Do you need any help?" Kyle offered.

Cartman thought for a second, "Not with this but after you've fixed your hair, you could give the living room a once-over. Tidy, straighten, dust and vacuum - if you don't mind. Ah'm a bit rushed for time, with having to see to my mother."

"How is she?" Kyle asked.

"She's still sleeping it off," Cartman answered, "ah'll go and wake her up when ah'm finished here."

"You care about her, don't you," Kyle spoke like it was an accusation, "despite all the crap she puts you through."

"Ah can't help it Kahl," Cartman looked apologetic, "she is my mother after all."

"She doesn't deserve you," Kyle told his friend as he left to go upstairs.

Cartman didn't reply, he tried to look busy spearing cubes of pineapple with cocktail sticks. His mind though was thinking about what Kyle had said. "You don't understand Kahl," Cartman said under his breath, "if I didn't have her, I would be all alone."

* * *

Kyle returned to the bathroom and searched around, looking for the hair gel and Cartman's razor. He found both in a cupboard by the sink. Kyle grabbed the electric razor and turned it on, he had never used one before and didn't know whether it even ran on mains or battery. It buzzed to life and Kyle dabbed it at his face nervously.

Kyle was startled by the sound of Eric laughing behind him. The larger boy must have finished in the kitchen and had come upstairs to wake his mother, "Ah wondered why you were taking so long," he said grinning.

Kyle stopped the razor, "I've never used one before and I don't really know how to shave with it properly."

Cartman smiled, "Ah'd never used a disposable razor before and you saw how badly ah cut myself at your house," he was trying to make Kyle feel better, "doesn't your dad have an electric razor?"

"No," Kyle answered.

Cartman stepped towards Kyle, "Ah'll show you how it's done if you like."

Kyle nodded and handed to razor over to Cartman. He expected Eric to demonstrate on himself before returning the shaver. Instead Cartman started to shave Kyle, holding the smaller boy's face with one hand while drawing gentle circles with the razor.

"The trick is," Cartman instructed, "to work in circles like this while keeping the skin taut."

Kyle didn't say anything, he just stood there feeling slightly stunned by the intimate physical contact.

"A lot of people are nervous because of the buzzing noise," Cartman continued, "it sounds especially bad when you get near your ears."

"Who taught you to shave?" Kyle asked, thinking only that his friend was so good at explaining things that he must have had a good tutor himself.

"No-one taught me," Cartman replied, "ah just copied what ah saw on the TV commercials."

"Why did you chose to go electric?" Kyle asked, he would have thought that disposable razors were cheaper and easier.

Cartman sighed, he had finished shaving Kyle but remained pressed up close behind him, "You saw how badly ah cut myself the other day. Imagine if ah walked into school cut up like that, all the taunts about me not having a dad to teach me how to shave. It's pretty hard to cut yourself with an electric razor."

Kyle could understand Eric's reasoning, high school was like a bear-pit when it came to pouncing on any sign of weakness.

"My dad would have taught you how to shave if you'd have asked him," Kyle said, "no-one would have laughed at you."

"It's not a problem Kahl," Cartman replied, stepping back, "ah managed fine on my own and ah actually prefer to use this," he brandished the shaver.

Kyle watched as Cartman opened up the shaver head, tapped it out on the side of the tissue bin that sat in the corner of the room and closed it up - before putting it away.

"Ah'm off downstairs to make my mom some lemon tea," Cartman informed his friend, "will you want some?"

Kyle pulled a face, "No thanks Eric, no offence but that stuff tastes vile."

Cartman grinned, "Ah take it that your mother drinks it as well?"

"What is it with mothers and fancy teas," Kyle grumbled, "it isn't as if it tastes good or anything."

"It's not supposed to taste good," Cartman replied, "it's supposed to clean the toxins out of your system."

"Does it work?" Kyle asked sceptically.

"Ah wouldn't know," Cartman replied, "ah just make it for my mom," with that he left Kyle to finish off in the bathroom.

Kyle reached for his toothbrush as he heard Eric retreat back down the stairs. He couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend, 'he deserves so much better than this,' he thought as he brushed. Kyle was slowly beginning to realise that this contest might be Cartman's only chance to change his life for the better. To get away from his mother and her disgusting behaviour. Kyle vowed to do everything he could to try to win the contest.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Sorry about the longer-than-usual delay for this chapter. I have my reasons, the main one being that the previous chapter ended up with an extra chunk on it that was supposed to be the start of this chapter. I usually try to write the first few paragraphs of the next chapter before I post the completed one, that way I've got a start on the new chapter and there's no daunting blank page. I've also had health problem and technology problems to deal with.  
_

_And now to answer a few points that came up in the reviews._

_KatQ66 asked for a pineapple to feature in this chapter, don't ask me why. Normally I don't like to deviate from my plans for a story, but this wasn't a plot suggestion so I thought - why not._

_CarnivalRiotx3 had some interesting points about diabetics and their diet. I personally don't know enough about the subject to judge whether I've got it right or not. As far as this story is concerned, Kyle eats healthy and avoids refined sugar in foods. He does eat natural sugars in fruit and vegetables. I imagine Kyle as the sensible person who would chose to eat healthily even if he didn't have diabetes. I haven't written scenes describing him injecting himself with insulin because, personally, I'm really nervous around needles. It's not something I want to write unless it is important for plot purposes. It's the same thing with going to the toilet, we all do it but we rarely see it on TV or read about it (except in comedy s as part of a joke). Imagine Romeo and Juliet's famous balcony scene interrupted by an, hold on a minute while I go to the bathroom?_

_As an additional note, I don't remember seeing Kyle using his medicine when he's been on sleep-overs on the TV show. I know that some people have small portable kits that they take with them on such occasions. Given how squeamish Stan is about hospitals - is it not natural to assume that Kyle takes his medicine in private so not to upset his friend and that, over the years, it had become his usual habit?_

_A big thank you to all my reviewers and also to those of you who chose to favourite or alert this story or me. One of the things I enjoy the most is logging on to my account and seeing the story traffic a couple of days after I've posted a chapter. Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._


	27. Chapter 27

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 27**

Kyle couldn't believe how nervous he was, waiting for the film crew to show up. Eric had got a call from them fifteen minutes ago wanting directions from their hotel, which he had easily supplied. Everything was ready, the house was spotless and even Liane was up and looking presentable.

Cartman had sprung one last surprise on Kyle just a few minutes ago, "Ah phoned the police and asked them if the crew could film while you gave your formal statement. They tried to fob me off so ah asked to speak to their chief. After ah explained everything to him, he gave the OK - as long as the suspect isn't named or the case compromised."

"Why did he agree to that?" Kyle asked, "Is he another of your mother's clients?"

"No," Cartman answered, trying to sound slightly offended, "he's a good guy. Ah know him because ah've had to deal with him a couple of times regarding my mom."

Kyle just nodded, acknowledging Cartman's statement.

"Ah explained to him about the contest and he was keen to help," Cartman continued, "he has a younger brother who's gay and lives out in California."

"Oh," Kyle wasn't particularly shocked, Cartman had a way of getting information out of people.

"Apparently the brother was beaten up all the time while he was at high school," Cartman shook his head, "ghay bashing is pretty common in some places."

Kyle shook his head, "Why does that sort of shit have to happen?"

"Schools are much more ghay tolerant these days, they have to be. There's a lot of media interest in hate crime stories," Cartman started to reach out to take Kyle's hand but realised what he was doing and pulled back, "A few years ago teachers could get away with looking the other way when they saw what was happening, I don't think they could do that now."

"It's not like that here though," Kyle asked, slightly worried, "is it?"

"No not here but in some parts of the US, yes sadly," Cartman smiled at Kyle, "don't worry though, it's mainly in the bible bashing parts. Most high schools now, are required to have policy s in place to protect ghay teens. Even if they don't like it, they're far too worried about having lawsuits thrown at them and any subsequent negative publicity."

"We'll be OK when we go back to school, won't we?" Kyle questioned.

"We'll be fine Kahl," Cartman said reassuringly, "ah read on the Ghay Teen America website that the ideal scenario for a ghay teen is to have support from his family, friends, school and community. You have that here, so there's nothing for you to worry about."

"How much time did you spend researching on that website?" Kyle asked.

"Months Kahl, it's important to do things properly."

Kyle nodded. He was sitting next to Eric on the sofa, which wasn't really helping him calm down.

Cartman's mom was bustling around in the kitchen, acting like the Mrs Cartman Kyle remembered from years ago. Now that he knew what she was really like, her act as a super nice mom was slightly sickening. Kyle didn't say anything though, he just tried to concentrate on being supportive for his friend.

"Don't worry Eric," Kyle said, "we're going to win this."

Cartman smiled at the kind words from the smaller boy. He was about to say something but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

Kyle stood up, along-side Eric and straightened his clothes as he swallowed - trying to hide his nerves.

"I'll get the door Eric," Liane said as she came out of the kitchen, a saccharine sweet smile on her face.

The two boys watched as she opened the door and greeted the people outside.

"Hello," she said, "you must be the film crew here for my little poopsykins and his boyfriend."

Kyle could sense Cartman tense up as his mom used the embarrassing pet name. He reached across and took Eric's hand, to calm him down.

Cartman smiled down at Kyle and gripped his hand gently, "Ah didn't think ah would be this nervous."

Kyle actually felt reassured knowing that Cartman was feeling the pressure too.

The film crew consisted of three men, two of them were carrying equipment. The third was slightly older and had some grey streaks in his hair, he came over to greet the boys.

"Eric Kyle, it's nice to meet you," he said offering his hand.

Cartman shook his hand straight away, "I'm Eric. It's good to finally meet you, you're the producer I spoke to on the phone - right?"

The man smiled, "Larry Michaels, but everyone just calls me Larry."

Kyle had disentangle his right hand from Eric's left so he could shake Larry's. Somehow the fingers had become intertwined, "I'm Kyle," he joked, "but I guess you already worked that one out."

Larry grinned, "You guys seem like a great couple," he turned to face the other two men who were talking to Liane, "this is Steve the camera man," he gestured towards the larger dark-haired man, "and the smaller guy is Andrew, our production assistant."

Introductions over, Larry spent the time explaining how they were going to film the main interviews today and follow the pair of them on a normal day tomorrow. During this time Steve and Andrew were setting up the camera and a couple of lights.

Cartman spoke quietly to the producer while the lights were being tested, "Ah know that you've got a schedule that you like to stick to but Kahl has to go to the police station today to record a formal statement."

Larry's ears perked up, "Really, what happened?"

"Me and Kahl were on a date yesterday when he was attacked," Cartman explained, "ah spoke to the chief of police and ah got you permission to film Kahl making his statement. You'll have to edit out anything that may prejudice the case."

"Why do you want us to film that?" Larry asked.

"Look the main reason why we chose to enter this contest was to promote ghay teen awareness. This is a good opportunity to show the types of unpleasantness that ghay teens encounter all over the country," Cartman was persuasive.

"This is supposed to be a fun contest," Larry explained, "it might not sit well with the governors office if we film that sort of thing."

Cartman's smile took on a predatory grin. Kyle knew that he was about to say something devious and manipulate the man standing in front of him.

"If anything," Cartman said, "ah think that this would show the state in a good light. Acknowledging that ignorance and hatred exist but at the same time demonstrating that the authority s, here in Colorado, are working hard to stamp it out."

"That's an interesting angle kid," Larry said, "I'll have to call my bosses to OK it but, I think it might be a go."

Cartman smiled as Larry moved to the corner of the room and took out his mobile. He whispered to Kyle, "You know, he'll take all the credit for my idea, he'll probably quote me word-for-word."

Kyle just nodded, it was amazing to watch Cartman in action. The larger boy had always had these manipulation skills, Kyle had been on the sour end of them many times while they were growing up.

"Your mom is flirting with the two other guys," Kyle whispered back, expecting to have to calm his friend down.

"Don't worry about it Kahl," Cartman replied, "if she keeps them happy, they're more likely to do a favourable job with us."

"You knew that it would happen," Kyle whispered accusingly.

"It's not hard to predict how people you know will behave in given circumstances," Cartman told his friend. "My mom will go fetch the table snacks ah made in a few minutes and when the crew complement her, she won't correct then. Instead she'll let them believe she made them."

Kyle watched as Liane left for the kitchen with one last flirt at the camera man, Steve.

Larry had finished his phone call and came over to the two boys, "I got the OK to use your police interview footage."

Kyle nodded, "We're going to go with my dad, this afternoon to make the formal statement. Eric's going to make a statement too, as a witness."

"We'll only need to film your part Kyle," Larry said.

They were distracted then by Liane returning to the room carrying the two plates of snacks Eric had made that morning. "I brought you boys something to eat, in case you get hungry," she said, licking her lips and looking at the camera man.

"That's very nice of you Mrs Cartman," Larry said, helping himself to the food.

"It's nothing," she said, turning her attention to the older man, "and call me Liane."

Larry swallowed and turned to face Eric and Kyle, "We'll interview you both separately, then the lovely Liane," Cartman's mom giggled, "it shouldn't take too long and it isn't anywhere near as scary as you might have imagined."

"Ah'll go first if you like," Cartman said.

The producer nodded, "I'll be asking the questions off camera. For the actual broadcast they might dub the presenters voice over mine with the same questions."

Cartman moved to sit in the chair that the lights and camera were pointing at. Kyle sat on the sofa to wait his turn and to watch Eric's interview.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Sorry about the long delay, it frustrated me as well. Sadly I've been very sick, three bouts of flu one after another. The third one hit me really bad because my immune system was all shot. I actually lost my voice for a week and I'm still sick now. Given my asthma and poor health, it may be weeks yet before I fully recover._

_Needless to say I have still been checking my reviews and e-mails. It really cheered me up when I would see the alerts in my in-box._

_I have another chapter written but finding the energy to type it up probably means that you won't see it until the weekend._

_Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	28. Chapter 28

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 28**

"So tell me Eric, how long have you known that you were gay?"

Cartman smiled, "Ah didn't have a revelation one day, it's something that sneaked up on me over a long period of time. When ah was a little kid ah used to like to dress up, sometimes. It's not something ah do now but ah've always identified just as strongly with female role-models as male ones."

"Tell me about your feelings for Kyle."

"That caught me by surprise as well," Cartman admitted, "we've always hung out together even though we used to argue all the time. Even as a little kid ah knew that, without Kahl in my life, everything seemed empty and pointless. The only times ah felt alive were when we argued. One day we were fighting, like usual, and suddenly we just lunged at each other and started kissing. Ah guess we both had pent up feelings for each other."

"So Kyle is your first boyfriend?"

Cartman nodded, "To tell you the truth, ah don't find anyone else attractive - at all. Not other guys and certainly not girls. Ah can see somebody and recognise that they are a good-looking person, but ah feel nothing towards them. Ah only have feelings for Kahl. Until ah had that first kiss with him, ah thought that there was something wrong with me because ah never found anyone attractive."

"What do you find attractive about Kyle?"

"He's really cute, but that's not the reason why ah like him. Ah'm attracted to his personality. His quiet determination and his way of viewing the world. Ah guess ah see him as a perfect match for me," Cartman started to tear up, "ah feel so privileged to be able to hold him and kiss him. He's so special, he could be with anyone in the world but he chose me."

Kyle was feeling slightly tearful himself, if only what Eric was saying about him was true. Without even realising he had started to cry.

"Are you alright sweet peh?" Cartman had bounded out of the chair and was kneeling in front of Kyle. His large hands were holding Kyle's tenderly and he brought his face close, "Did ah make you cry?"

"I'm alright," Kyle managed to say, "what you said about me was just so, so beautiful."

Kyle felt himself pulled into Cartman's embrace, the larger boy using his palms to slowly circle his back. It was so relaxing and comforting.

Eric kissed Kyle's forehead, "Ah love you Kahl," he said.

Kyle tried to straighten himself up, "I'll be OK if you want to continue," he said, not sure if he was being truthful.

"If you're sure Kahl," Eric said, standing up and returning to his chair. He then turned to the producer, "Sorry about that."

"That's OK," Larry said, "we've seen this sort of reaction quite a few times."

Cartman ran a hand through his hair and straightened his clothes before nodding to indicate that he wanted to continue.

"You said that you never found anyone else attractive prior to Kyle, so what did you do to relieve yourself?"

"You mean masturbate?"

"Yes."

Cartman looked thoughtful, "It's not something ah did a lot of but when ah did it was usually after a big fight with Kahl and ah would think about that. Ah think that my body was trying to tell me who ah was attracted to but ah just assumed that ah got off on arguing with people."

"So why did you and Kyle decide to out yourselves and enter this contest?"

"Honestly, we had originally not planned to out ourselves to our friends and family until after high-school was over and we were ready for college." Cartman shuffled forward in his seat, "Ah had a friend on the Ghay Teen America website who ah chatted with all the time. We had a lot in common, even though we lived in different states. We used to give each other advice and support. His parents were very anti-ghay, hard right Christians and where he lived a lot of ghay people get bashed and targeted for hatred. He was so scared of being found out, one time he told me that he hated himself for being who he was - for being ghay. In the end, he killed himself. He was only the same age as me and Kahl. He was a beautiful person but he couldn't live with the pressures his parents and community were putting on him. He'd dated girls and even done sexual stuff with them, just to maintain his secret. Ah think that it all became too much. He left a goodbye message on-line and killed himself."

"So you're entering the contest for him?"

"No, he's beyond any help now," Cartman answered, "we chose to enter this contest to promote ghay teens everywhere. To show that being a ghay teenager is normal and that we're not something anyone should be afraid of. We want people to know how hard it can be for ghay teens, having to cope with friends and family and school. Me and Kahl are really lucky in that our families are supportive and out friends have accepted us. Not everyone is that lucky."

"What would you do if you won first prize?"

"It would allow us to be together at college. We would live in the apartment and use the money to pay our fees. Ah guess it would allow us to start our lives together a few years earlier," Cartman paused, "ah don't want anyone to think that the prize wouldn't make our lives better, because it would but it's not the most important thing to us."

"Thank you Eric," Larry said, "we'll take a break there and give you both some time to catch your breath before Kyle takes his turn."

Cartman got up and immediately went over to Kyle, "Are you OK?" He asked.

"I'm fine now," Kyle replied.

Cartman turned to address Larry, "Is it alright for us to go for a quick walk, get some fresh air for ten minutes?"

"Sure kid," Larry replied, his attention mainly focused on Liane.

"C'mon Kahl," Cartman said, reaching his hand out to help the smaller boy up, "ah'm feeling a bit hot from being under those lights."

Kyle let himself be helped up and followed Eric to the front door. They had soon thrown on their jackets and were on their way.

"Why did you get us out of there?" Kyle asked.

"Two reasons," Cartman replied, "firstly you were starting to loose it. Ah know that you've been through a lot over the last couple of days; having to come out to your family and friends, getting attacked and now this interview stuff. It's a lot to deal with in such a short period of time. Ah wanted to give you a chance to get your head together and focus."

Kyle didn't argue, he could see the point in what Eric was saying.

"And secondly," Cartman continued, "ah wanted to give my mother the time to work her magic."

"Magic?" Kyle asked, puzzled.

"Knowing my mom, she'll be well on her way to seducing the producer and camera man into bed," Cartman answered.

"What about the other guy?" Kyle asked, slightly horrified.

"Ah think that he's ghay, so he won't be interested in her."

"And it doesn't bother you," Kyle wondered.

"That my mom acts the way she does? Of course it bothers me," Cartman replied angrily, "there's nothing ah can do right now to change the way she is. Maybe in the future, when she starts to loose her looks, but for now the best ah can do is not let her behaviour get to me. In this case her actions are doing us a big favour."

"I get it," Kyle said, "the more the producer likes her, the nicer he'll be to us."

Cartman looked at his watch, "We'll give them another couple of minutes before we head back."

Cartman draped his arm over Kyle's shoulder and smiled, "Am ah being selfish, doing all this to win a contest?"

Kyle thought for a second before answering, "You are, in a way but I don't see anything so bad about it. When we win it won't just be us who benefits from it. There's Stan and Kenny, oh and Kenny's brother too. You've changed you know, a few years ago one of your schemes would only be to benefit yourself."

"Maybe ah've grown up enough to realise how important my friends are to me."

They turned and started to walk back to Cartman's house.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I want to thank everyone who has sent well-wishes with their reviews. I'm over the worst of my flu but the symptoms will probably stay with me for another few weeks._

_Hea mentioned in his/her***** review that Ally Week is next week and that this month is LGBT history month. Both these things came as a surprise to me as LGBT is usually around February/March in the UK. Ally Week sounds like a good idea, and I'm all for anything that increases awareness and reduces bullying and hate._

_Personally I think that the media has a lot to answer for, in relation to the public opinion of gay people. A good example of this is in the popular show Glee (which I love by the way, so no hate reviews please). The gay character is your typical soft and slightly effeminate boy. I personally would have liked to see a rough masculine football player as the gay character, to show that gay people are usually just normal people. I'll get off the soapbox now._

_Thanks for all your reviews, alerts and favs. Kyman love to you all, cell12._

_**

* * *

*** I never assume that any reviewer is male or female unless they say._


	29. Chapter 29

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 29**

When they returned to the house, Kyle expected to be seated right away to start his interview. As it turned out, the producer had decided to skip ahead and do Liane's interview first.

As they watched the producer repeated his question and Liane explained how she only ever wanted her son to be happy. Kyle winced at this, given the state she had been in last night and how poor Eric had to take care of her. He spent a grim few moments imagining what a day in Eric's life would come across like on TV if the crew had been their to film last night.

"Thank you Liane," Larry said as he finished her final question.

She simpered in the chair, clearly enjoying her time in the spotlight, "I hope I did alright, Mr Producer," she said, pouting provocatively.

"You were great," Larry told her as she got up from the chair, "we've just got Kyle's turn to go then we can break for lunch."

Kyle swallowed and moved to sit down, he was stopped by Cartman who pulled him into a big hug, "You'll do fine Kahl," Eric said as he held him close.

Kyle smiled and steadied himself, this was no different than a test and if there was one thing Kyle Broflovski was good at it was tests. He was going to ace this, he told himself - forcing away the doubts and filling his mind with confidence. Once he sat, the producer gave him a few minutes to get comfortable under the lights before opening with the first question.

"Kyle, what's it like growing up gay in a small town like South Park?"

"Probably not that different to growing up straight, I suppose," Kyle answered honestly, "when I was younger I tried to like girls, so I could fit in and be like everybody else. It didn't work, it just made me feel like a fraud."

"Did you have any problems accepting your own identity as gay?"

"It took me a while to work through the usual issues," Kyle replied, "my main worry was how people would react. It took a lot of time and patience from Eric to help me be ready to tell everyone."

"Your boyfriend seems very protective towards you," it was an open statement rather than a question.

"Eric grew up as the only child in a single-parent family, he's always found it hard to relate to other kids because of this. I've had a lot of stuff to deal with recently so naturally he's a bit protective. It just shows that he cares, if he thought I was uncomfortable he would give me space."

"Tell me about the things you've been having to deal with?"

"Well," Kyle took a deep breath, "obviously coming out to my family and friends was nerve-racking. It turned out great but still, everyone imagines the worst. Having to be interviewed like this is scary if you're not used to it," Kyle smiled to the camera, "and on top of that I was attacked last night while on a date with my boyfriend."

"That's great Kyle," Larry said, "that's where we'll edit in the footage we'll take of you giving your statement to the police. Let's go for a change of tact now and focus more on your relationship, OK?"

Kyle nodded.

"What makes Eric so special?"

"It's not about material things, like gifts or presents. It's not even about appearance, even though I love his looks. It's the care and understanding he gives me. He puts so much effort into trying to make me happy, even though just snuggling up in his arms is enough for me. He listens to me when I have problems and is so supportive. He doesn't push me to do what he wants, he just helps me to do what I want. Eric could easily do things for me, he has so much confidence, but he doesn't. Instead he encourages me to do things for myself."

"Eric said that you both used to fight with each other, how did that turn to love?"

"We both had pent up feelings but were scared to open up to each other. Unlike Eric, I had crushes on various people when I was younger - guys at school, various celebrities," Kyle was pushing the truth slightly, the only crush he had ever had was on Stan and nothing ever came of it. "I never had the courage to do anything more than daydream, even then Eric was always in the back of my mind. I used to think, if only he was a bit nicer I could really go for him."

"So how did it all happen?"

"It seems pretty obvious now," Kyle answered, looking confidently at the camera, "even though we fought all the time we still hung out together. It was like we needed each other, even if it was just for fighting. Finally we were assigned a school project together and our fighting just turned to making out. It was pretty hot now that I think back on it but at the time I was more scared afterwards than turned on."

"Why scared?"

"I was scared about what would happen, what would Eric do, if he would tell anyone. Looking back, I could have told on him as well but I didn't even consider it at the time."

"And what did Eric do?"

"He backed right off, he gave me space. He sent me a sweet note telling me that he wasn't sorry for what had happened and that he wanted to be with me, but there was no pressure. It was like he was hopeful but not expecting anything. It must have taken so much for him to open up and express his feelings to me. How could I not give him a chance?"

"Were you in love at that point?"

"I wasn't, Eric admitted to me later that he was - but I didn't know that at the time. It wasn't perfect straight away, we had a lot of stuff to work through and it took time to build up a level of trust between us."

"How did you fall in love then?"

"I saw another side to him, a gentle caring side that was lonely and needed to be loved," Kyle sighed gently, "I felt privileged that he let me see the real him and I wanted to be with the person I found. I fell in love with him pretty quickly after that."

"How hard was it, keeping things a secret from your friends and family?"

"We needed things to be secret while we were still getting comfortable with each other. I would tell my friends I had family commitments and tell my family that I was hanging with friends or working on homework with them. After a few months of doing that it just felt easier to continue, rather than take any risks. We agreed not to lie if our parents asked us anything but not to volunteer information either."

"You chose to come out just to enter this contest."

Kyle nodded, "It was Eric's idea, he feels that it's very important to increase America's awareness of gay teens and what, some of them, have to go through. I was pretty scared, but I knew that Eric was right. I'd been putting off coming out, out of fear. This contest helped me, gave me the push that I needed."

"Thank you Kyle," the producer said, "I think that's all the questions we'll need for the show."

Kyle smiled as the camera and lights were switched off. The questions had been harder to answer than he'd thought.

Cartman had moved to Kyle's side and was encouraging him to relax, "You were great Kahl," he said rubbing his friends shoulder, "I told your parents that we'll be having lunch with them - so that we can drive with your dad to the police office afterwards."

Kyle got up and stretched, "I can understand what you meant about being under those lights," he said as he threw his jacket on, "it's like your getting slowly cooked in an oven."

The two boys were about to leave when Cartman paused to speak to the producer, "Larry, we'll be at the police office for around 2 pm, will you and you crew be meeting us there?"

"Two's fine," Larry answered, "we'll get the directions from the lovely Liane."

"That's kewl," Cartman said hurrying out the door, "see you there then."

"You were in a rush to get out of there," Kyle commented as they walked down the path.

"I didn't want to have to see my mom flirting with those two guys," Cartman admitted, "knowing her, she'll try to get them both into bed."

Kyle put a consoling arm around his friend.

"I feel sorry for the other guy," Cartman continued, "they'll probably make him wait out in their van while they do it."

"C'mon Eric," Kyle said, suddenly speeding up, "I bet my mom's got something nice waiting for us for lunch."

Cartman started to jog and tried to catch up with his friend. He guessed that Kyle had felt uneasy around his mother, given what he had seen last night. Not that he blamed Kyle, he just hoped that the Jewish boy wouldn't spread it around.

"Wait up Kahl," Cartman shouted, as Kyle increased his lead, "ah'm not as fast as you."

"Don't worry," Kyle shouted back, "I'll let you catch me."

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I just wanted to take the time to answer some questions that came up in the reviews of the last chapter._

_Rafi wants to know - does Cartman know that Kyle is gay? I could tell you, but this is a minor plot point. So you'll just have to wait until chapter 30 to find out._

_I didn't reviewed this yet OO - seems to have some confusion over the fake relationship. It's a fake relationship so Eric and Kyle could pretend that they started dating years ago, who's to say different? Cartman probably started researching on the gay teen website straight after the contest was first announced and he created the fake chat-room messages before he sent in his contest application. The devious Fat-ass then left it until the last possible moment to spring everything on Kyle._

_RemmyBlack - Sadly the new series of Glee doesn't air in the UK until the new year (sob). E4, the channel that airs the show in the UK, are treating British Glee fans like sh*t. I suppose I could stream the show onto my computer but then my mom misses out, she loves the show and we usually watch them together. As a consequence, I have no idea what is happening in the new series and I am trying like mad to avoid spoilers._

_Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._


	30. Chapter 30

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 30**

"How did the interviews go this morning?" Shelia Broflovski asked her son and Eric, the second they set foot inside the house.

"They went fine mom," Kyle answered, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Is that another new outfit?" She questioned, seeing Kyle as he shrugged off his jacket.

"Kahl looks great, doesn't he," Cartman boasted as he also took off his jacket, "ah had to order the trainers on-line from the manufacturers. Ah was afraid they might not come in time for today."

"You've a very good eye for clothes Eric," Shelia said, slightly awkwardly.

"Thank you Mrs Broflovski," Cartman replied, "the truth is that Kahl's natural good looks make the clothes look better than they actually are."

Kyle nudged his friend in the shoulder, to shut him up.

"Sorry Kahl," Cartman responded, "ah didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Kyle, your father will be home in the next half-an-hour so we can all have lunch together," Shelia told the two boys as she returned towards the kitchen.

"I promised to call Stan," Kyle said after his mom left the room, "you can go upstairs and play on my Xbox 360 if you want."

Cartman nodded and headed upstairs, he was looking forward to having a chance to calm down. The morning had been pretty intense and, although he didn't want to admit it, Kyle's question and answer session had got to him. Listening to somebody say so many nice things about him was not something that he was used to. Usually the only person who would complement him was his mother and he had learned to disregard her opinion years ago. Kyle had talked about him like he was another person, a better person, a person he wanted to be more like. He kept telling himself, while Kyle was talking, that it was all lies. Lies that Kyle was making up to help them win the contest but, as he sat there, listening to his friend - he couldn't help but want it to be real. I've never been in an intense relationship, he told himself, I don't understand what it's like.

Eric was just about to enter Kyle's bedroom when he bumped into Ike, who was coming out of his own room.

"Hi Ike," Cartman said as he ducked into Kyle's room.

"Hello Eric," Ike answered.

Cartman had expected Ike to go downstairs but instead the younger boy followed him into Kyle's room.

"Did you want something?" Cartman asked, puzzled by the way Ike was seeking him out.

"I know about the contest," Ike stated clearly as he shut the door behind him.

"What do you know?" Cartman asked quickly, nervous about what Ike was meaning.

"I know that you and Kyle are faking up a relationship so that you can win the contest and go to college along with Stan and Kenny," Ike didn't mince his words as he laid out the facts.

"So you know that ah'm not the only one who will benefit if we win this," Cartman was scrabbling, he had no idea what Ike wanted.

"Don't worry Eric, I'm not planning to reveal anything," Ike stepped closer to Eric and stared at him.

"So what do you want?" Cartman asked, still on edge.

"I want you to answer some of my questions," Ike said, "and tell me the truth."

"Is this some kind of a trick?" Cartman asked.

"No trick," Ike insisted, "I just want some honest answers."

"Fine," Cartman gave in begrudgingly, "but only because ah don't want to piss Kahl off right now."

Ike accepted that answer and went to sit in Kyle's computer chair, Cartman perched on the bed.

"How do you feel about Kyle?" Ike asked.

"Ah think that doing this contest has helped us become better friends," Cartman replied easily.

Ike shook his head, "No, I mean do you like him in a gay way?"

"I don't have to answer this," Cartman said getting up.

"Please," Ike said, not moving, "I won't say anything to anyone."

Cartman stared at the dark-hair boy in front of him, "Ah'm enjoying doing this with him," he finally answered.

"Did you know that Kyle was gay before you started all this?" Ike asked.

Cartman sat back down, "Ah kind-of thought he might be, given all the times he turned Bebe down when she asked him out."

"And it doesn't bother you," Ike wondered.

"Look," Cartman turned and picked up the Xbox controller, toying with it in his hands, "ah thought that, if he was ghay, he'd find all the kissing and stuff easier - less uncomfortable maybe. Other than that, whether he was ghay or not didn't really matter to me."

"Do you like kissing and cuddling with Kyle?" Ike asked, turning the chair a few dozen degrees to the left then to the right with his feet.

Cartman didn't answer, he just sat there thinking in silence.

"You don't have to answer," Ike said, getting up and heading for the door, "since you've never dated anyone before Kyle, it must be hard for you to judge how much you like it."

"Ah didn't say that ah liked it," Cartman tried to answer, but Ike had already left the room and, obviously, their conversation was over.

* * *

Kyle came up the stairs, a couple of cans of soda in his hands. He was glad he was able to calm Stan down some. His best friend was still worried about how Kyle was coping with the attack. Sometimes Stan seemed like he wanted to protect the whole world, especially his friends. Kyle pushed his bedroom door open and stepped inside. Cartman was sitting on his bed, the Xbox controller in his hands, but the console wasn't on. Eric seemed to be staring at the floor.

"Is something wrong?" Kyle asked, as he set the sodas down on the bed-side table.

"Ah've just spoken to Ike," Cartman said, "it was quite interesting."

"OK," Kyle sat down next to his friend and wondered what Ike had said.

"He knows all about the contest," Cartman spoke quietly, "not the stuff with Kenneh though."

"Yeah," Kyle said, "he talked to me about that the other day."

"He told me you were ghay," Cartman's voice retained its quiet, relaxed tone.

"You don't sound that surprised," Kyle looked at Cartman's face, waiting for a reaction.

"Ah guessed as much a while back," Cartman smiled slightly, "what with you never dating."

"You haven't dated anyone either," Kyle responded defensively.

"Yes but everyone hates me, no-one would want to date me," Cartman was trying to act like that didn't bother him, but Kyle knew different.

"Does it make a difference?" Kyle asked.

"To the contest?" Cartman put his arm over Kyle's shoulder and hugged him, "Why should it? It isn't as if ah care one way or another."

Kyle felt unreasonably hurt when Cartman said that he didn't care.

Cartman had noticed the fall in Kyle's face, "Look, when ah said that ah don't care, what ah meant to say was that it doesn't matter. You being ghay or straight or bi wouldn't make any difference to our friendship."

Kyle nodded as Cartman hugged him, already he was feeling rejected - despite Eric's words.

"You know Ike thinks that we secretly like each other," Cartman joked, saying what was on his mind.

"And what do you think?" Kyle asked.

"Honestly?"

Kyle nodded.

"Ah'm enjoying being with you and hanging out with you, way more than ah thought ah would. Ah don't know though," Cartman struggled to explain his feelings, "it's not like ah've got anything to compare it against."

Kyle understood that, he was having the same problem, "Would you though," he asked, "date a guy for real?"

"If ah cared about him and he cared about me," Cartman looked away, "ah guess it wouldn't matter that we were both guys."

Kyle could see that Cartman was feeling really uncomfortable, "My mom will be shouting for us in a few minutes," he said, "what should we do until then?"

Cartman looked helplessly around the room, hoping for something to catch his eye but nothing did - except Kyle. For some reason he was finding it hard to take his eyes off the red-head.

"Ah don't know," Cartman finally managed to say.

"We could practice kissing again," Kyle suggested cheekily.

Cartman's face held a shocked expression as he turned completely red. he leaned back, trying to put distance between himself and Kyle. Only to end up lying on his back, on the bed - with Kyle crawling over to him.

"Remember how much you shocked me when you kissed me for the first time?" Kyle asked.

Cartman nodded.

"Consider this payback," Kyle said as he leaned in and kissed Cartman.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** This was the chapter - where they went from a fake relationship which Cartman was in control of, to a tentative real relationship with Kyle being the more confident one. I hope that I didn't fluff the transition._

_Ike cropped up again to help bring Eric and Kyle together, got to love the little Canadian!_

_The next couple of chapters are proving to be a bit tricky to write, so expect a slightly longer time between chapter updates._

_Kyman love to you all, cell12._


	31. Chapter 31

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 31**

"Lunch is ready!"

Kyle was snapped out of the kiss he was thoroughly enjoying by the sound of his mother's voice. He sat up and straightened his clothes. Next to him, Cartman was also struggling to sit up.

"Kahl," Cartman's voice was tense, "what just happened?"

"We kissed," Kyle answered calmly, "no different from all the other times."

"But," Cartman hurried to stand up and follow Kyle, who was already out of the door.

Kyle turned, catching his friend by surprise, "You look sexy when you're flustered."

Cartman swallowed, not sure what to say or do.

Kyle took hold of Cartman's arm and gently lead him down the stairs, stopping to hug the larger boy before they entered the kitchen.

"Get it together Eric," Kyle whispered as he pressed close and kissed Cartman's cheek.

They entered the kitchen and sat down at the table - Kyle smiling and acting normally, Eric quiet, contemplative and slightly stunned. The meal set out in front of the was quite impressive, parcel-baked fish with jacket potatoes and salad - clearly Mrs Broflovski was trying to impress.

"This is great mom," Kyle said as he tucked in.

Eric, on the other hand, was eating in silence. It was almost a complete reverse from the last meal they had eaten with Kyle's family. The only difference being that Eric was actually eating. Kyle thought that Cartman would still find the time to eat, even if the world was coming to an end. It was what he did. The larger boy had said something about comfort eating when stressed the other day, Kyle was now seeing this in action.

Seeing that Cartman had cleared his plate and was reaching for the salad bowl for the third time, Kyle reached across and stopped him, "Slow down Eric."

"Huh," Cartman said, still slightly out of it.

Kyle smiled gently at his friend, "You shouldn't worry Eric, the interviews this morning went great."

"Ah'm sorry," Cartman said as he started to recover his usual confidence, "the last few days have been pretty stressful."

"I think that you've both been coping with things really well," Shelia told them.

Cartman smiled gratefully, "Ah've been a little distracted," he confessed, "maybe we should do something to blow off a little steam after the film crew leave."

"What did you have in mind?" Kyle asked.

"Ah was thinking of a party at my house," Cartman paused as he saw the faces of Kyle's parents, "nothing too over-the-top, just our friends from school."

"Would there be alcohol at this party?" Shelia asked.

Cartman turned his head to look at her, "Ah won't lie to you Mrs Broflovski, most of the people in our year drink - even if it's only a little."

"Thank you for being honest Eric," Shelia said as she wiped her hands on a napkin, "I understand that there are a lot of temptations out there for young people."

"Personally," Cartman spoke like he was revealing a big secret, "ah don't like the loss of self-control that comes with being drunk. Ah know that ah can handle a few drinks but ah never go further than that."

"If that's true, then you're more sensible than most of the adults in this town," Shelia commented.

Cartman nodded in agreement, "Kahl's the same, he hates the thought of getting drunk and doing something embarrassing."

"It's one of the reasons I don't go to a lot of the party s," Kyle admitted, "most of them are just an excuse for kids to get drunk."

"And the parents allow this?" Shelia asked, concerned.

Even Cartman could recognise the signs of Kyle's mom on the brink of launching one of her angry mother campaigns. He decided to head her off, "Of course not, usually the party s are hosted by a kid who's parents are out-of-town for some reason. Yes they get punished if they're found out, but that doesn't stop some other kid doing the same thing a couple of weeks later."

"We don't go to party s like that," Kyle added.

"The only party s me and Kahl go to are the ones which have parental permission," Cartman explained, "Token hosts a couple of big party s every year, which are always fun."

"And you know about the Marsh's Super-bowl party s," Kyle chipped in.

"Wendy always has a birthday party," Cartman said, adding to the list.

"Last time, Wendy's parents allowed a small amount of alcohol at her party," Kyle explained, "but not enough for anything to get out of hand."

"Each guest was allowed two drinks," Cartman added, "which is plenty."

"It doesn't stop some kids bringing their own supplies or having a few pre-party drinks before hand," Kyle continued, "but Wendy's parents were on the door to spot anyone who arrived already drunk and the usual suspects were searched for flasks."

"None of that stopped the party from being fun," Cartman insisted, as he took over the conversation, "it was a well planned party with all of Wendy's friends."

Gerald Broflovski laughed, "I see that the pair of you have already got supporting each other in a conversation down. I've known lawyers who trained for years and didn't have the same skills as you two."

Kyle grinned at his father, "It's because we complement each other. I'm good at explaining things and Eric's good at persuading people."

"Don't worry," Gerald said, "you've already convinced me that you both are responsible enough to have a party."

"I appreciate your confidence sir," Cartman said.

"Eric," Gerald said, "we've known you all your life and you're dating our son. You don't have to be so formal."

Cartman looked across at Kyle's parents slightly confused, "What do you want me to call you?" He asked.

Shelia answered, "Our names, or if you feel comfortable with it you could call us mom and dad."

"Mom and dad," Cartman repeated in a whisper. He stared at the Broflovski's with a tear running, unnoticed, down his face. It was soon followed by others.

Kyle rushed to get to Eric's side, "It's OK," he told the larger boy, "I'm here." Kyle kissed Cartman's cheek, tasting the salty tears on his lips. He hugged his friend and comforted him, "I love you cuddle monster, understand."

Cartman struggled to pull himself together, he had no idea that a kind gesture by Kyle's parents would affect him like that. He tried to dry his eyes by dabbing them with his napkin, "Ah'm sorry," he told everyone, "ah don't know what happened."

"Don't worry Eric," Shelia said, "you don't have to explain anything."

Kyle noticed the subtle smile on his brother's face as he watched everything that was happening. He would have to speak to him about his attempts to play match-maker. Not that Kyle didn't appreciate the gesture but Ike's timing sucked. Kyle had been planning to broach the subject himself, but had been waiting until after the film crew had left.

"If you'll excuse me," Cartman said standing, "ah need to use the rest room."

All the Broflovski's watched as Cartman left the room and went upstairs.

Shelia turned to speak to Kyle, "I'm sorry Bube, I didn't mean to upset your boyfriend."

"It's not your fault ma," Kyle replied, "I told you the other day how Eric wasn't really part of a proper family and how lonely he was." Kyle stared at his family and lowered his voice, "Look, there are some things about Eric that you should know - but you've got to promise me that you'll keep them secret."

Ike, Gerald and Shelia all nodded their heads.

"Eric comfort eats when he gets stressed," Kyle explained to his family, "I thought he was holding it together pretty well but, I guess, he's just good at hiding it."

"We didn't know," Shelia said.

"What's gotten Eric so upset?" Gerald asked.

"It wasn't having to talk to the film crew or even the attack on me yesterday," Kyle admitted.

"So what was it then?" Shelia asked.

Kyle decided to tell them the truth, or at least part of it, "Last night his mother came home in the early hours of the morning and passed out in the front doorway."

Kyle watched as his parents and brother shared shocked looks with each other.

"She was off-her-face on drugs and alcohol," Kyle continued, "Eric had to carry her upstairs and put her to bed. He admitted to me that she's been doing stuff like that for years."

"How horrible," Shelia said.

"You know how she acts all super-nice and like the perfect mom," Kyle watched as his family all nodded, "well, after seeing her behaviour last night, her mommy act comes across as pretty sickening."

"There must be something we can do," Shelia instantly said.

"He doesn't want anyone to do anything," Kyle insisted, "as things are now, I can look out for him. If we reported it, he'd only end up been taken into care and that would destroy him - as well as spoil any chance he has of getting a decent education. We've only got one more year of high-school, then he can leave it all behind."

Just then, Kyle heard Eric coming down the stairs and he signalled to everyone to act normally.

"Oh Eric," Shelia said, "there's just enough time for you all to have some ice cream before you have to leave for the police station."

"Thank you Mrs Broflovski," Cartman said, sounding slightly subdued.

Shelia almost stopped to remind Eric to call her by her name, but guessed that he felt too uncomfortable with it. Instead she went to the fetch the ice cream that had been placed in the fridge to soften.

* * *

_**Authors Notes:** Getting access to the computer for long enough to type this up has proven itself to be tricky, so I apologise for the delay. I have the next chapter already written, in my notebook, and I'll try to type it up and post it tomorrow - I can't promise anything though._

_Rafi - Just to finally clear things up. Cartman didn't know that Kyle was gay, although he strongly suspected it._

_For those of you wondering whether Eric and Kyle are a real couple or not, as of this chapter, I don't think they know either. It sure is fun to write though!_

_I've kept you all long enough (lol). Kyman love, hugs and kisses to you all, cell12._


	32. Chapter 32

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 32**

Eric Theodore Cartman sat, relaxed, in the back of Gerald's car as Kyle's dad drove Kyle and him back home. Kyle was nestled beside him and he had a protective arm around the smaller boy.

* * *

They had met the film crew as they arrived at the police station and Kyle had quickly introduced his father before they had all gone inside. The police must have been waiting for them because they made a big show of welcoming them and being courteous. After Larry, the producer, had spoken with the police chief, things had been organised pretty quickly. Kyle, his father and the film crew had been taken away to record Kyle making his formal statement and pressing charges against the assailant. Cartman had been lead to a smaller interview room to make his witness statement and he had been finished in no time. That left a lot of time for him to be sitting alone in the waiting area.

Cartman knew that Kyle's police interview would take a lot longer than his and suspecting that he could be stuck there for a while, had decided to use the time phoning their friends and classmates. Letting them know about the party he was planning, most had sounded enthusiastic.

Cartman had always had the best party's when they were younger, although he had only ever invited other children so that they would bring him expensive gifts. As they had got older, the fact that his mother let him do whatever he wanted had meant that his were the first party s that were unsupervised, the first where loud music and sneaking away to make out replaced children's party games and the first party's to have alcohol. Surprisingly, Cartman himself wasn't really interested in getting drunk. His admission to the Broflovski's that he hated the loss of self-control was true, however it was only part of the reason why he never let himself get drunk. He had spent so many nights dealing with his mother, when she came home, off-her-face on drink and drugs that the idea of doing something similar held no appeal. Maybe he was afraid that he would start to behave like his mother? Or perhaps he had learned that being that drunk was something only worthy of contempt.

This afternoon the film crew were going to set up in the Broflovski's house and record Kyle's family s interviews. They had also indicated that any close friends, who wanted to, come come and be filmed as well. Cartman hadn't failed to inform all their closest friends of that fact, while giving out party information. He expected a good turn out.

Eric had tried to avoid thinking about this morning with Kyle, but it was impossible not to. Had Kyle indicated that he wanted a real relationship with him? It wasn't something he had even considered when he had started to plan this whole scheme. He tried to believe that everything was innocent but Eric Cartman had always been good at hiding the truth, even from himself. If he had been unsure about his feelings towards the Jewish boy, the contest would have been a great way to try-out being in a relationship with Kyle without any of the fears of rejection. Is that what he had done? Had his sub-conscious secretly planned this? Maybe he was over-thinking things and anyway, Kyle might not even be interested in him. The Jew could have been messing with him - paying him back for all the teasing he had done. Right now he had no idea what his true feeling for his friend were but the idea that Kyle didn't really like him hurt. It left him feeling the pain of loneliness and abandonment, something that he was used to but hated all the same. He needed to get Kyle alone and speak to him, unfortunately that would be almost impossible for the next few days.

* * *

"I'll be glad when today is over," Kyle said, breaking the silence in the car.

"Ah know that we've both had a rough couple of days," Cartman said, gently kissing Kyle's red curls, "but it will all be worth it, ah promise."

Kyle shifted in his seat, not feeling the need to talk.

"There's every chance," Gerald said, "that your assailant will take a plea bargain and you won't even have to go to court. The judge would just hear the charges and pass sentence. I'm not guaranteeing anything boys but, from what the police were saying, the guys lawyer has advised him to do just that. With luck, this could be the last time you have to hear about it."

"The important thing is that Kahl feels safe when he goes out," Cartman insisted, "and that he doesn't have to hide who he is."

"Maybe I should go back to wearing drab clothes when the film crew leaves," Kyle ventured.

Cartman noticeably stiffened and pulled away from the Jewish boy, "Kahl, you look amazing in your new clothes and the confidence and pride ah see in you when you wear them is awe inspiring. If you went back to your old style clothes, it would be like ripping off a butterfly's wings and trying to turn it back into a caterpillar. Don't let that one person take away the joy ah saw in you when you first put on your new clothes."

Kyle stared at Cartman, slightly stunned, it was when the larger boy said things like that - things that meant so much, it almost made Kyle believe that the whole lie was real. Why did Cartman have the ability to say just the right thing. The supportive words that made him feel better and more confident about himself. Words that could make him think again and reconsider his decisions. When Stan, Kenny or anyone else disagreed with him, he always just dug his heels in even deeper until they gave up. Cartman, on the other hand, would argue with him - all day and night if necessary, never giving an inch.

"You're right Eric," Kyle finally admitted, "the new clothes do make me feel good, more confident and proud of who I am. I won't let some thug scare me back into a shell that I've grown out of." Kyle reached across and took Eric's hand, lifting it gently to his lips and kissing it, "Thank you for talking some sense into me."

"Well," Cartman sounded embarrassed, "usually it's the other way around. Not that ah always listen."

Gerald pulled his car into the drive and as he, Kyle and Eric got out - they noticed all the other cars that were parked around and nearby.

"What's going on?" Gerald wondered.

Cartman smiled at Kyle as he explained, "It's all of our friends, they've come to record a video message in support of us for the contest. Ah phoned a few people while ah was waiting for you guys to finish - mainly to tell them about the party - but ah guess they all decided to come here as well. They must have called everyone else, remember Larry did say that any close friends could come and record a video message."

Just then the film crew's van pulled up outside the house. Larry got out and shouted over to where Gerald and the boys were, "Is it usually this crowded around here or is something going on?"

Gerald grinned apologetically as Larry walked over, "It appears that all of Kyle and Eric's friends have come out in force."

Larry nodded, "Don't worry, we'll think of some way to organise this."

"Maybe the football team could record their message together as a group," Kyle suggested, recognising the cars of many of the football players.

"That would work," Larry said, "and other friends could record their messages in pairs or groups as well."

"Your mother must be going spare in there - with so many teenagers in the house," Gerald pointed out as he moved quickly to the door.

In actual fact things were quite well organised and the teenagers were behaving themselves, as much as they can when gathered in large groups anyway.

Shelia Broflovski spotted the door opening and saw her husband entering the house. As she made her way towards him, she gave instructions to various people, "Stanley, turn off that television and take the game console back up to Kyle's room. Wendy, Bebe, help me tidy up. The rest of you out of the living room, the film crew needs space to set up."

"Shelia, everything went well at the police station," Gerald told his wife, "I know you were concerned."

"I didn't know that so many people were going to be here, Gerald. They've all come to record a message in support of our Bube, isn't it wonderful," although she said it was wonderful, Gerald could see that his wife was stressed by the sheer numbers of teenagers in her house.

Kyle and Eric had followed into the room and were greeting some of the people there.

"Kyle," Clyde was standing by the stairs with a can of soda in his hand, "your mom is like, stricter that coach Henderson. I don't know how you stand it."

Kyle rolled his eyes at the comment, "She isn't so bad," he said, defending her, "it can't be easy having to deal with half of our class and all the football team descending on your home, all at once."

"Will you be taking Bebe to my party?" Cartman asked Clyde.

"I guess," Clyde answered, sounding unenthusiastic.

"Give it time," Kyle told him, "you may find her to be more fun that you thought."

Clyde shook his head and took a sip of his soda. His eyes scanned the room looking for Bebe, she was in the kitchen doorway talking to Wendy. He had to admit that she was hot - probably the hottest girl in school. When he turned to say something back to Kyle, the Jewish boy was gone. Him and Cartman had moved across the room, to help organise things.

"OK, listen up," Cartman was in the centre of the room, his voice carried to everyone without him seeming to shout. All eyes turned to him, "This isn't the party. The party will be on Friday at my house. You're all kewl and you're all invited." There were a few cheers in the crowd of teens, but most stayed silent to listen for Eric's next instructions, "The film crew needs space to set up," he told everyone, "because there's so many of you, the producer has decided to film you all in groups. Try to keep your messages short, a couple of sentences is fine. You can even chose one person to speak for your group. Don't try to discuss it now, sort yourselves out, outside while the crew set up. Our close friends," he nodded to where Stan was standing, halfway down the stairs, "may also record a personal message - even if they're part of a group or team."

Kyle stepped up and stood next to Eric, "Some of you may want to speak to us, prior to recording your message. We'll be in my bedroom, just remember to knock. Finally thank you all for coming, it means a lot to both of us," Kyle stepped back, grinning and slightly flushed. He wasn't used to this sort of thing.

Cartman slipped his arms around Kyle and pulled him into a kiss. Kyle knew that it was for show but enjoyed it anyway, even though the cheers for the people in the room made him feel more embarrassed. Eric lead Kyle through the room and up the stairs, tapping Stan on the shoulder and beckoning him to follow as they went past. Stan nodded and fell in behind them, after signalling to Wendy to follow them up.

* * *

_**Authors Notes:** Yay another chapter. Two in two days, my poor typing fingers are aching._

_You may have wondered why I chose not to go into too much detail about the police interviews, I had a few good reasons:_

_1/ - Having another round of interview heavy chapters would ruin the flow of the story._

_2/ - I would have just been repeating something that you've already read in an earlier chapter._

_3/ - It gave me a chance to dig into Cartman's mind and show you all what he was thinking._

_Not for the first time I had a reviewer criticising my poor grammar skills, personally I don't think that I do that bad a job. I will admit that my grammar is not perfect and I'm sure that I would be pulled up for some things if I was submitting this as English homework, but that's the point - this is a fan fiction story that I'm writing for fun. I've read stories with far worse grammar than mine and it doesn't really bother me as long as the story itself is good. Seriously if it bothers you, you can always copy the chapters into a word or open office text document and correct them how you like before you read (as long as you keep my name attached)._

_If my grammar was really bad I could understand the complaints, but it isn't - is it? I understand that the reviewers who complained about my grammar probably meant well, but that sort of thing can undermine the confidence of an author. Fortunately I'm thick skinned and after a quick rant, to get it off my chest, I'm fine._

_For some reason the document uploader on this site decided to delete all the commas off the word party's and replace them with a space. It did the same thing with the previous chapter and I've only just spotted it. That sort of thing is **so** annoying._

_Kym__an love to all my readers (even the ones who diss my grammar [lol]), cell12_


	33. Chapter 33

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 33**

"So," Stan said after he had closed the door, "how was it at the police station?"

Kyle answered, since Stan addressed the question to him, "Not bad, it just took a bit of time because of the cameras."

Cartman hugged Kyle, "You did great, ah'm really proud of you."

"My dad thinks that the guy may take a plea bargain, so I won't have to testify in court," Kyle explained.

"That's good," Stan said, "you probably just want it all to be over."

Kyle grinned at Stan's remark, his best friend knew him pretty well.

Just then Wendy tapped on the door and entered the room, "Did you want to speak with me and Stan about something?"

"Actually yeah," Cartman tried to act nonchalant by clasping his hands behind his head and stretching, "ah was hoping that the two of you would help us with the party. Setting it up and stuff."

"Sure Cartman," Stan said after looking across at Wendy, "what time will you need us?"

"Well the party starts at eight, so a couple of hours before that," Cartman grinned at the couple, "it's just shifting some furniture out of the way and arranging things."

"And the music," Kyle chipped in, "Wendy will you make up a play-list on your ipod?"

"Sure," Wendy answered.

"Cartman's taste in music is all seventy's and eighty's power ballads," Kyle said pulling a face.

"As if your taste is any better," Cartman chided, "MC Dredel, how lame is that?"

Stan laughed, "Don't worry, everyone knows that having really bad taste in music is one thing you've both got in common."

"Aye," Cartman pouted indignantly, "ah'll have you know that all those power ballads ah listen to were all big hits when they were released. Good songs don't die, they just get re-recorded by TV talent show artists."

Everyone found Cartman's comment funny, even he joined in the sniggering after a couple of seconds of thought.

"So Kyle," Wendy asked slyly, "what's it like being with Cartman in?" she nodded towards the bed.

Kyle blushed and Cartman seemed to find the question hilarious.

Stan seeing his friend's distress spoke out, "You don't have to answer that Kyle."

"No, it's alright Stan, Wendy's just being curious." Kyle turned his head to look at Cartman who was turning rather white, before returning to Wendy to answer, "There are a couple of reasons why I call Eric cuddle monster. Cuddle because he's nice to cuddle and snuggle up to and monster - well I'll let you work that one out yourselves." Kyle winked cheekily at Wendy and Stan, making them both blush.

Cartman couldn't help but burst into loud laughter, it was a few seconds before he calmed down enough to speak, "Do you want to know about Kahl's prowess?"

Wendy and Stan backed up but were too stunned to answer in the negative.

"You know about Kahl's hot temper, right?" Cartman continued, ignoring the shaking heads, "That temper turns to passion in bed."

Stan, who was turning green, managed to say something, "We've got to go. They'll be wanting us to record our message soon." He grabbed Wendy's hand and pulled her out of the room.

Cartman and Kyle both laughed at the sight of the hastily retreating couple.

"Did you see how green Stan was?" Cartman asked.

"If he throws up on Wendy she'll go ballistic," Kyle replied.

"It would serve her right," Cartman said, "she shouldn't have asked you something like that."

Kyle nodded, Eric was right about how inappropriate Wendy's question was. He had never asked her and Stan about their bedroom activities - truthfully, he didn't want to know.

There was a tap on the door and Kyle opened it to reveal Craig standing with Tweek huddled behind him. Craig had a firm hold of Tweek's hand and a determined look about his face.

"What was with Stan," Craig asked, "he ran out of your room like he'd seen a ghost."

"Ghost!" Tweek shrieked, looking around and trembling, while clinging to Craig's back.

"It's just a saying Tweek," Craig said calmly, "there is no ghost, just a scared Stan."

"Wendy asked a question that was a bit too personal," Cartman explained.

"And our answers probably put one too many images into Stan's mind," Kyle continued.

Craig flashed a quick grin ans Tweek moved out slightly from behind the taller boy.

"No ghosts?" Tweek asked for confirmation, twitching slightly.

Kyle thought back to when the ghosts of celebrities were haunting his brother. He didn't think that this would be a good time to bring it up, "Don't worry Tweek," he said, "I haven't seen any."

"You know that I would protect you," Craig said, pulling Tweek into his arms and hugging the twitching blond.

Kyle tried to hide his feelings with a smile. It was weird seeing Craig and Tweek behaving like a couple, rather than as just friends. He couldn't help but feel slightly guilty - Craig and Tweek were the real secret gay couple, Kyle and Eric was all pretend.

"You wanted to ask us about something?" Cartman inquired, looking at the usually sullen boy and his nervous friend.

"Your parents aren't angry with you," Tweek said, "they didn't disown you or anything."

"Obviously not," Kyle answered.

"Kahl's mom was a bit upset," Cartman told them, "but not angry. My mom wouldn't have cared if I had told her anything."

"You know about us," Craig's voice was flat and emotionless.

"I worked it out when I saw the two of you together at the arcade the other day," Kyle answered. "Eric said that you'd been seeing each other for nearly two years."

"How could he know so precisely?" Tweek asked, tugging his hair with stress, "Cartman can read our minds!"

"Calm down Tweekers," Craig reassured the smaller boy in his arms, "I'm sure he'll explain how he knew."

They all turned to look at Cartman.

"Hey, it's not my fault that ah'm so good at reading people," Cartman said raising his hands, "ah probably knew before they did. Craig's been sneaking into the staff room, to refill Tweek's Thermos, since sixth grade."

Craig shrugged, "It gives me something to do between classes."

"And Tweek stitches the end three fingers of Craig's gloves together, to stop him flipping the bird," Cartman added.

"It keeps him out of trouble," Tweek explained, jerking and scrunching up one eye.

"I still have more detentions and suspensions on my record that the next three best in our year put together," Craig said rather proudly.

"I blame the gnomes," Tweek said irrationally, "it's a conspiracy to stop you protecting my underwear."

Cartman shook his head, "You're still having problems with those underpants gnomes, eh Tweek?"

Tweek shook his head before answering, "Yes."

"I can't sleep over and protect him every night," Craig commented.

"And you never thought to switch to boxer shorts Tweek?" Cartman asked.

"Boxers?" Tweek looked puzzled.

"I get it," Kyle explained, "they're underpants gnomes, as in underpants. If you switch to boxer shorts they might leave you alone."

"Why have we never thought of that?" Craig wondered.

"Do you think it will work?" Tweek looked around, trembling.

"It's worth a try," Cartman shrugged. "You'll have to stick with it though, they might keep checking up on you for a while."

"Jesus, why won't they leave me alone?" Tweek asked to no-one in particular.

Craig put a comforting hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, "Calm down, have a sip of your coffee."

Tweek pulled a large silver Thermos out of his satchel bag and nervously unscrewed the top. His face visibly relaxed as the aroma of hot coffee filled his nostrils. Pouring a small amount into the cup, Tweek blew across it to cool the liquid, before taking a sip.

"If I pour a smaller amount it cools quicker," Tweek explained as he continued to drink.

"The coffee in Tweek's Thermos is extra strong to cut down on refills," Craig told them as they watched the blond boy.

"Were you worried that we would tell anyone about your relationship?" Kyle imagined how he would have felt if someone had outed him when he wasn't ready.

"No," Craig answered, "I knew you wouldn't tell anyone."

"Clyde and Token Know about us anyway," Tweek added.

"Is anyone else in our year gay?" Kyle asked.

"There are a couple of girls who claim to be bisexual," Cartman answered, "but ah think they're just saying that to look kewl."

"Butters is gay," Craig said and they all nodded. That particular fact came as a surprise to no-one.

"Where is Butters anyway?" Kyle wondered, "I haven't seen him all summer."

"His parents made him get a summer job," Cartman answered.

Kyle nodded, it made sense that Butters would have to work all summer long. Butters' dad did everything that he could to make his son suffer.

"He doesn't even get to keep the money," Craig said, "I heard that his dad is making him pay rent."

Kyle curled his face up in disgust, "They should at least let him put the money away for college."

"Don't worry too much," Cartman told Kyle, "he's stashing all his tips away in a bank account his parents know nothing about. Ah helped him set it up."

"Did you help him find the job as well?" Kyle asked, slightly jealous.

"No but ah did advise him to take the lower paid job with the better tips," Cartman admitted, "ah figured that his dad would try something douchy."

Kyle stared at his friend in wonder. Again Cartman had helped someone with nothing in it for himself. He didn't impose himself and solve Butters family problems - but he had given their friend some sound advice.

"Gak, Kyle," Tweek interrupted Kyle's thoughts, "you stare at Cartman like he's wonderful or something."

"He is - to me," Kyle couldn't help himself. He grabbed the larger boy, drawing him into a tender embrace.

* * *

_**Authors Notes:** Sorry about the slight delay, I had a hard time writing Craig and Tweek and getting it to sound right when I read it back. I think that I've read a lot of the Creek fiction posted here, as research, over the last few weeks. I'm too obsessed with Cartman slash to be a fan of the pairing but I certainly think that they can be cute together if written well._

_I love to read South Park fan fiction, especially Cartman slash. I only started writing because I felt guilty that I was getting so much pleasure from the story s that had been posted here and was giving nothing in return. If I find a good story that keeps me scrolling down and clicking for the next chapter, I am happy. I also have a dA account and get inspired by all the Cartman fan art._

_Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._

_

* * *

**PS:** This has been written in response to an unpleasant second review by a grammar bully, who didn't appreciate my comments at the end of chapter 32._

_TehBloodSpiter - I have no idea whether or not you will ever see or read this, personally I don't really care. I am only writing this response to your second review because people, other than me, may read your reviews of my story. I have blocked you from posting any more reviews to my stories._

_I believe my comments, at the end of my last chapter were polite and jovial, the comment about ranting was a joke - I slip them into my stories as well. I feel sorry you, I really do, because while accusing me of a failure to take criticism you demonstrated that trait in yourself. I admitted that my grammar (and I included spelling and punctuation under that banner by the way) wasn't perfect but I don't think that it's so bad as to make my story illegible or bother anyone. As far as I'm concerned, this is a fan story that I am writing for fun. I am not writing this for a grade in an English class. Truthfully, I would probably be more bothered by comments criticising my story ideas or use of language._

_I stated in my chapter 32 authors notes that your comments didn't bother me, they don't, I was showing my genuine concern for other authors. I was not freaking out. Nothing sucks the joy out of creative writing faster than a grammar, spelling or punctuation bully. If you're giving similar advice to other authors, I can't help but wonder how many of them have given up on a story because of your comments._

_Finally, my suggestion that you copy my story into a text document and edit it how you wish, if it was bothering you so much, wasn't a joke - it's something I do myself with some stories. I won't name them because I don't want to insult any authors out there. I'm personally unconcerned about the occasional spelling or punctuation slip, so I usually only do this for stories that have been abandoned for a couple of years that I'd like to take a crack at finishing (for my own pleasure, not to publish). It's actually a good way to expand your writing style._


	34. Chapter 34

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 34**

Craig and Tweek had stayed a while longer, wanting to compare secret gay relationship story's. Kyle had been surprised that Cartman already had a few at hand - including one about sneaking off during a sleepover at Stan's house, to make out. It had sounded so believable the way Eric told it. Kyle couldn't help but smile dopily up at the larger boy.

After Craig and Tweek left, Kyle pressed himself up against Cartman and kissed him.

"What was that for?" Cartman asked, surprised and slightly unnerved.

"You pick," Kyle replied. "For being polite to Wendy - I know you can't stand her. For the way you talked me into keeping my new look - I have to admit that you were completely right. For coming up with an idea to help Tweek - even if it doesn't work. For helping Butters and not even boasting about it - like you would have a few years ago. But most of all it's for being you. Not the mean ass-hole you pretend to be most of the time, the real you. The person I'm only just getting to know but like a real lot.

Cartman opened Kyle's door and checked to see that there was no-one about, before returning inside and pushing the door shut. He looked towards Kyle nervously, it wasn't the best time to talk but he couldn't wait any longer.

"Can ah," Cartman paused, he looked scared but determined, "can ah hold you and kiss you? Not for practice, not for show but for real - to see if ah like it."

"You think you might like it?" Kyle asked, slightly teasing his friend.

"Maybe," Cartman answered quietly, "ah want to find out."

Kyle nodded and answered, "Yes."

Cartman pulled Kyle closer, into his body, holding the Jewish boy gently against his chest. Kyle could feel Eric's heart beating fast, even faster than his own. He watched as Eric slowly leaned down, their eyes fixed on each other - hazel and emerald. The kiss was tender against his lips, a small nothing compared to other times but meaning so much more for all the promise behind it. After a few seconds Cartman straightened up and pulled back.

"Well?" Kyle asked waiting for the answer he hoped for.

"Ah like it," Cartman admitted, stepping back and dropping down to sit on the end of the bed, "ah think that ah'm ghay for you."

Kyle nodded - inside he secretly felt triumphant, "Are you OK with this."

The larger boy looked at his friend, "Ah have no idea what to do."

"Does it help if I tell you that I feel the same way?" Kyle asked, sitting down next to Cartman.

Cartman didn't answer, instead he grabbed Kyle's hand and held it, "Is it OK if we just sit for a while?"

"Sure," Kyle answered. He knew that Eric was trying to sort things out in his own mind. Realising that you were gay was difficult to come to terms with.

"How hard was it," Cartman finally asked, "knowing you were ghay for all those years?"

"The hardest part was having no-one to talk to about it," Kyle told his friend, "on-line chat rooms and advice websites can only do so much. It wasn't that I dwelt on it all the time but when Stan and Kenny started talking about girls - or worse Kenny asking me for my opinion on a particular girl he liked - sometimes it was hard to pretend."

"Ah talked about the girls at school pretty crudely," Cartman admitted, "ah called them bitches and skanks and hos. Maybe ah was scaring them off so that they wouldn't ever want to date me."

"Maybe," Kyle responded, "so you're OK with being gay?"

"Ah'm the kewlest thing this world has ever seen," Cartman declared, "so if ah'm ghay, it automatically means that it's kewl to be ghay."

"Does that mean that I'm cool then?" Kyle pressed.

"No," Cartman answered, "you might be ghay but your still Jewish and ginger."

"Cartman!" Kyle could feel his temper sparking into life.

"Luckily your also extremely cute, you don't have to be kewl."

"Idiot," Kyle said, shoving Cartman's shoulder.

Cartman nudged back grinning at the smaller boy, "Ah've just thought of something funny."

"What?" Kyle asked, still slightly annoyed.

"Ah may be the first guy to ever out myself before ah even knew ah was ghay."

Kyle sniggered, "And the first to date a guy without realising either."

"At least ah don't have to worry about how people will take it when ah tell them," Cartman pointed out.

"Yeah, that was stressful," Kyle admitted.

"Seriously, you worried about that?" Cartman asked.

"I was 12, the age Ike is now, when I realised that I might be gay," Kyle told his friend, "of course I was scared. There's always the fear that your family would reject you - throw you out."

Cartman nodded, "Ah've read about that sort of thing."

"You remember that camp Butters' dad sent him to?" Kyle asked.

"The one which tried to pray the ghay away," Cartman laughed at how stupid it was.

"Parents can do that to you," Kyle pointed out, "send you to places like that - or worse. As a kid you have no say in the matter."

"It's got to be better than those parents who try to beat the ghay out of you," Cartman pointed out.

"Mom and Dad have been really great," Kyle told Eric, "but what would their reaction have been if I had outed myself at twelve? I'd like to think that they would have been just as understanding and accepting."

"It's not something you have to worry about," Cartman told him, "why get stressed about something that didn't happen?"

"You have no idea how terrified I was of being outed in middle-school," Kyle insisted.

"Younger kids can be less understanding," Cartman admitted, "ah guess that you'd have been picked on a lot."

"All that stuff you've been saying, about promoting gay teen awareness. It was just something for you to use, to help us win the contest - but it meant something to me. Even though I haven't had to face the problems many gay teens have, I've had to live with the fear. It's not easy." Kyle stood and started pacing the room.

"It's not fair," Cartman commented, "a straight kid doesn't have to approach his or her parents and say mom, dad, I'm straight."

Kyle stopped pacing and smiled, "Who knows, maybe if it's a gay family with two dads or two moms, they might have to do that."

"That would be such a funny scene on a sketch show," Cartman grinned at Kyle, especially if one of the parents started action like it was the end of the world."

Kyle giggled, "I can just see it - the kid apologising for being straight and telling them that the guy who they thought was his boyfriend is just an ordinary friend."

"But you've had so many sleepovers," Cartman changed his voice to sound like an effeminate gay parent.

"I'm sorry dad but I'm straight. I didn't chose to be straight, it's just the way I am," Kyle had lowered his voice to make it sound more gruff, "me and my friend - during all those sleepovers we just slept."

"Yeah," Cartman laughed, "and they could have another sketch where the son tries to introduce his girlfriend to them. The two dads could act really cold and mean towards her - all disappointed and shit."

"Maybe send the poor guy to a camp, to turn him gay," Kyle suggested.

"It would be so kewl but can you see any of the main networks airing a series of sketches like that?" Cartman asked.

Kyle shook his head, "Perhaps one of the cable channels might but it's not something I would expect to see. Using a gay couple to parody a homophobic straight family's behaviour."

Cartman leaned back on Kyle's bed and sighed, "How much longer do you think they're gonna be?"

"Ages yet," Kyle answered, "even with my mom organising things, they've got a lot of people to go through."

"What should we do in the mean time?" Cartman asked.

"Well," Kyle said approaching the bed, "we could make out a little."

Cartman's eyes stretched wide open, "Seriously?"

Kyle clambered onto the bed, draping himself over the larger boy, "Seriously," he answered, leaning down and initiating a kiss.

Cartman slowly wrapped his arms around Jewish boy, secretly enjoying the closeness he was feeling.

"Does this mean that we're boyfriends for real?" Cartman asked when Kyle finally broke the kiss.

"What do you think?" Kyle replied, kissing Eric some more.

"It's going to be hard," Cartman pointed out, "trying to keep up the appearance of our fake relationship - one where we've been together for a long time, alongside our real relationship that's only just starting."

"We'll manage," Kyle spoke between kisses, "it can't be any harder than keeping track of the fake relationship when we hated each other."

"Ah keep wondering whether ah planned all of this subconsciously," Cartman pondered.

"Ike wondered the same thing," Kyle told Eric as he snuggled in the larger boy's arms, "don't spend too much time worrying about it though."

"Ah think ah've got other things to worry about," Cartman admitted as he started to draw circles on Kyle's back with the palm of his hand.

"Oh, I love that," Kyle said pressing closer and kissing along Cartman's jawline.

"Ah thought you did," Cartman laughed evilly, "ah could tell from the way you responded to it before."

"I wouldn't have admitted it though," Kyle pointed out, "you would have used it against me."

"Who's saying that ah won't now?" Cartman asked, before running a hand through Kyle's short curls.

"I'll have to get used to calling you Eric all the time," Kyle said, inhaling his boyfriend's scent.

"You've been managing fine for the last few days," Cartman told him.

"Maybe," Kyle conceded, "but it doesn't feel right yet."

"You make me feel special," Cartman admitted, "when you call me Eric, ah mean."

"I'm still going to call you Cartman when I'm angry and want to tell you off," Kyle added.

"Ah still get to call you Jew when you piss me off then," Cartman insisted.

"But no cruel jokes or Jewish stereotypes," Kyle countered.

"Only if you cut out the fat comments," Cartman replied.

"I won't insult you about your weight but I should be allowed to talk to you, in order to persuade you to exercise more and to get you eating healthily. I've a right to be concerned about you."

"And ah'm allowed to tease you and push you to have more fun, if you start getting too uptight."

"What are we doing?" Kyle asked.

"Negotiating the terms of our relationship," Cartman answered like it was obvious.

"You say that like we're two generals fighting over the wording of a treaty to end a war," Kyle said.

"We, kind of, are," Cartman smiled, "aren't we?"

Kyle didn't bother to answer, instead he just relaxed in the arms of the person he loved.

* * *

_**Authors Notes:** I had some difficulties writing this chapter, it seemed a bit disjointed when I read it back in my notebook. I ended up changing a few things and writing extra bits while I typed it up._

_MusicPeaceAndCheese - I've added my dA link into my profile, just click on homepage. Thanks for giving me the idea. My current journal message contains ideas I've been working on for other South Park stories since this story is winding up pretty soon._

_Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._


	35. Chapter 35

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 35**

One Year Later

The door to the apartment swung open. Standing in the corridor were two young men. One was taller, well built with soft brown hair. He was muscled and chunky-looking, not fat just big. The second was shorter and thin, although he did appear to have good definition beneath his clothes. The dark red hair on his head was chopped close and only curled slightly.

"Stop trying to pick me up," the red-head snapped, "I'm not a chick, we're not married and you're not carrying me over the threshold."

"But Kahl," the larger of the two wined, "it's our first home together. This needs to be special."

Kyle weighed up the humiliation of been treated like a new bride against making his boyfriend happy, "Fine, but I get to choose my side of the bed."

"But Kahl, ah wanted to have the side nearest the bathroom."

Kyle muttered a few insults under his breath but didn't resist as he was lifted into his boyfriend's arms, "If you drop me or bang my head, I swear Eric," he never finished because they were already in the room.

They had sub-let the apartment for the first year. It was extra funds for them both during their last year at high-school. Kyle had made the decision to not even look at the place until they could move in. He had trusted his boyfriend with all the arrangements and Eric had not let him down. Their tenants had moved out a couple of days ago and the whole place had been cleaned and the new furniture brought in.

The main room was quite large with doors leading off from it. The brown L-shaped sofa was new and looked comfortable, arranged around a wall-mounted flat-screen TV. Game consoles were set on a table underneath. The walls were painted a soft cream, kept from being boring by the artwork hanging on them.

Kyle took some time looking around the room after Eric had set him down.

"Who'd have guessed that Butters would get an art scholarship," Kyle said, running a finger over the painting of him with his three closest friends.

"Ah only accepted his paintings on the hope that he'll become famous and they'll be worth something some day," the larger boy tried to sound mean and callus but Kyle could tell it was all bluster - it was almost always bluster.

"I know that you care really," Kyle teased, "if you didn't, would you have spent all that time helping him fill out his scholarship application forms?"

"Meh," Cartman tried to play down his kind deeds. Kyle knew that pointing them out would make Eric feel uncomfortable.

"Let's check out our bedroom," Kyle said, grabbing the larger boy by the hand and pulling him towards the doors, "which one is ours?" He asked.

Cartman sniggered, "This first door is a closet, for our coats and junk," he said as he opened the door.

The closet was small and tidy, for now anyway, with a rail of coat hooks and some shelves. A small vacuum was sitting on the floor.

"This is Stan and Kenneh's room," Cartman continued, opening the second door.

Kyle quickly ducked his head inside. The room was a reasonable double with a pair of singe beds against opposite walls, with a desk between them - under the window.

Kyle smiled as he thought about his best friend's life was finally turning around. The doctor's had finally given him the OK to resume training just after Easter. Too late for earning a scholarship - since it would take months of work to get his shoulder back into shape. Of course, with so much time out of the game, his skills would be a bit rusty. Kyle had no doubts that Stan would force his way onto the college team. When Stan 'The Man' Marsh set his mind to something he usually found a way to achieve it.

The raven-haired boy had been so grateful when they had told him that he was going to college with them. Kyle had to tell him three times that the whole plan had been Eric's idea before Stan would believe that the Fat-ass cared so much about him. They'd also finally told Stan the truth about their fake relationship and how it had turned real. He had been a little shocked, having been taken in so completely, but had agreed to keep it a secret. It was just easier to let everyone else go on thinking the lie. Kyle had felt uncomfortable with that at first but Eric had explained that it wasn't hurting anyone and that the truth was too complicated for most people to accept.

Kenny had already known about the whole college thing and had made a point of grabbing Cartman into a hug and shouting, best friend ever, loudly in his face - knowing it would annoy the larger boy. Cartman had made a big show of counting his Vegas winning to make sure the poor boy and his brother didn't steal any of it. Kenny had just grinned and told Eric, I know that you love me really, before running around the Cartman house - with Eric lumbering behind, trying to chase him down. Kenny had been even more ecstatic when he learned that Eric had bought his brother's garage and put Kev in charge.

Kyle remembered when Eric had approached his dad, to ask him to keep an eye on the business and financial side of the garage - given that Kev was inexperienced in those areas. Gerald had eagerly agreed after asking a few sharp questions about where the money had come from.

"Snap out of it Kahl," Cartman's voice jolted Kyle back to the present, "we've only got a couple of hours before Stan and Kenneh show up."

"Sorry," Kyle hugged his boyfriend, "I was just thinking about how much winning the contest has helped our friends."

Cartman smiled, "You're too cute to be mad at."

"Call me cute again and I'll kick your ass," Kyle joked.

Eric was tempted to call Kyle cute again, just to see the reaction but instead continued his tour, "Main bathroom," Cartman said, changing the subject and opening the next door.

Kyle took a quick glance. It was a nicely fitted out room, a white suite with a shower over the bath. White tiles broken up with two tones of blue tiles spread across the floor and walls. The only thing that made Kyle ponder was the lack of a window or any natural light.

His boyfriend must have noticed his look, "A lot of apartments have bathrooms with no window Kahl, it's really common. Don't worry there's a window in our en-suite."

Kyle nodded, "I suppose we could leave a flash-light in there in case there's a power cut."

"That's our room," Cartman said, skipping the door, "and this is the kitchen."

Cartman pushed open the final door to reveal a compact kitchen with reasonable space and a breakfast bar with two stools - no room for a table. Then again four male college students were far more likely to eat take-out on the sofa while watching TV or playing a video game. Eric was the only one who had any inclination to cook.

"Why did you skip our room?" Kyle asked, pressing up to Eric and enjoying the heat of his boyfriends body.

Cartman grinned shyly, "Because once ah get you in the bedroom ah won't want to leave until we've - you know."

Kyle grinned back at his boyfriend, he found it adorable when Cartman got all embarrassed and shy - especially when he was talking about them being intimate, "Yes I know."

Kyle lead the way into their room. It was painted a soft sage green with two desks on either side of a large king-size bed. Storage came from a large walk-in closet and two sets of drawers. The aforementioned on-suite wash-room had a toilet, sink and shower but no bath.

Kyle looked at the bed, which was waiting for them invitingly, "You said that you wanted the side nearest the bathroom."

Cartman nodded as he watched Kyle sit on the bed and bounce a few times to test the mattress. He sat down next to him and threw his arms around the red-head, "Cuddle monster loves his sweet peh."

Kyle turned in Eric's arms and brought their faces close, "Sweet pea loves his cuddle monster."

* * *

When Stan and Kenny arrived at the apartment, they expected to be greeted by their two friends. Instead all they got was the sight of Eric and Kyle's bags piled up just inside the door.

"Do you think they've gone out?" Stan asked as he moved inside.

Kenny grinned as he heard the faint sounds coming from the master bedroom. "I don't think so Stanny," he said pointing to the door of Eric and Kyle's room.

"It sounds like they're moving furniture," Stan said, hearing the grunting noises and much to Kenny's delight, "maybe we should go help them."

"You do that Stan," Kenny suggested, "I wanna take my bags into our room."

Kenny hefted his bags and made for the second bedroom but stopped to watch as Stan opened the master bedroom door.

There was a loud girlish shriek and a couple of indignant shouts.

"Oh god," Stan said as he backed out of the room looking green. He managed to rush into the kitchen before throwing up in the kitchen sink.

Kenny couldn't help but laugh as Cartman charged out of the bedroom clad only in his boxers. He pointed towards the larger boy, his eyes tearing up with laughter, "They're inside-out, you must have put them on in a hurry."

"Shut up," Cartman snapped, clearly frustrated, "just shut up Kenneh."

"Stan's shriek was so girly, and he's the straight one," Kenny laughed some more.

Kyle had followed his boyfriend out of the room. A bed-sheet was wrapped around his shoulders, "It was kind-of funny," he conceded.

"As long as Stan learns to respect our privacy," Cartman grumbled, calming down slightly.

"It's gonna be so much fun, all of us living together," Kenny pointed out.

And it was.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** For those readers who may be disappointed by the one year jump, sorry._

_To me the story was pretty much over once Cartman and Kyle admitted their feelings for each other in chapter 35. Yes I could have dragged it on - I actually had notes on Cartman's party and the studio part of the contest, Big Gay Al was going to be the presenter. Honestly, it just felt like I was dragging the story out - even while I was planning it. All that was left was this one year later chapter and the loose ends that will be tied up in chapter 36._

_The actual idea to jump like this came to me after reading the excellent story Hate by Kymanlvr, so if you're looking for someone to blame..._

_Stan's nickname is borrowed from Stan Lee - the guy who created pretty much all of Marvel comics best heroes and villains in a few brief years during the 1960's. The guy is a legend and his self-penned nickname is so kewl that I had to borrow it._

_Kyman love to all my readers, cell12._


	36. Chapter 36

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**The Contest**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 36**

Loose Ends:

Cartman was right about Clyde and Bebe. they never did seek Kyle out baring handfuls of receipts. When Kyle saw them a few months later they were still together and really happy. As he had promised, Cartman admitted to them that he had manipulated them, to push them together. They had actually thanked him, with Bebe offering to name their first child after Eric. Clyde had laughed, believing it was a joke - but Kyle had seen the gleam in Bebe's eyes.

* * *

Craig had won a scholarship to a college in California and Tweek applied to the same place, to be with him. Tweek's parents didn't mind the college fees, they were grateful that Craig was willing to look after their nervous son. They'd even been supportive when the two boys came out to them. Although Mr Tweak had spouted forth a lot of illegible metaphors. Craig had told his mom and sister he was gay before he left but kept it a secret from his dad. He would tell him some day - but why cause a fight that would only bring his dad's temper down on his mom and sister.

* * *

The guy who attacked Kyle at the arcade, Kyle never did bother to find out his name, got a suspended sentence with community service. He then went and threw his chance to redeem himself away by drink-driving and causing a pile-up a few weeks later. Fortunately no-one was hurt but the meat-head was sent to Park County jail - where his homophobic attitude was explored in detail with his cell-mate, Big Frank.

* * *

he sleazy trustee, who had allowed Liane to fritter away Eric's trust fund, surprised everyone by paying Eric back, in full, a few months later. Apparently he had won the lottery and decided it would be better to set things straight - rather than risk the bad publicity, and possible jail time, of the truth coming out. Sometimes fate or justice catches up with people. The trustee was kidnapped while sailing his brand new yacht in the Caribbean. His wife had been willing to pay the ransom until she found out about his three busty travel companions. The yacht was recovered, a few months later, sailing under a different name and papers. Of the trustee, there was never any sign.

* * *

Cartman had been at a loss regarding the extra money, until Kyle suggested setting up some sort of business that his mom could work in. Eric had puzzled for a few weeks - trying to find some way to get his mother off her alcohol and drug dependency and whoring lifestyle once and for all - before bumping into Shelley, Stan's sister. Shelley had been thrown out of college and had barely escaped jail because of the violent way she had reacted to her boyfriend cheating on her. She was having a hard time, having to work a menial job because no-one wanted to hire someone with such a volatile temper. After discussing it with his friends, they all agreed that Shelley was the one person capable of sitting on Cartman's mom and forcing her to quit the drugs. Shelley had no compassion in her, so she wouldn't be persuaded by the pleas of someone craving a fix. When he had approached Shelley about his job offer, she had snapped it up pretty quickly - moving into the Cartman house and sticking with Liane twenty-four/seven to prevent her from whoring and drug taking.

Shelley had done so well that Eric asked her to manage the hair dressing salon he opened in South Park. It was on the site of another salon that had been burned down some years previously. He had set the business up to provide safe employment for his mom, not expecting it to be much of a success - but apparently Shelley had different ideas. This was a second chance for her and she clutched at it with both hands. Cartman had been pleasantly surprised when Gerald showed him the books for the first quarter of business. The salon wasn't in the black - but it would be for the second three month period and every one after that.

* * *

Kenny and Stan had been dismayed to discover that their siblings were dating and that they had met at Kyle's house. Gerald, experienced at running his own business, had agreed to look after Eric's business interests while he got his education. Kev and Shelley weren't dating too seriously yet but it still bothered their younger brothers.

* * *

_**Authors Notes:** Hopefully I've managed to snip off all the loose ends with this chapter (lol)._

_So now I'm stuck with the problem of what to write next._

_I have loads of ideas for more South Park stories, nearly all Cartman centric. I actually have multiple chapters written for a few of these. I want to concentrate on just one story at a time until it's finished - but sometimes ideas just pop into the head._

_These are my options:_

_1 - **Lumbered** - Start work on the third part of this story (parts 1 & 2 are already posted on ). This part would be told from Ike's POV. This story isn't very popular, with hardly any reviews._

_2 - **Everybody Loves Cartman** (the working title that I like but might change) - Stan and Kyle's 3 month old gay relationship is falling apart They go to first Butters and then Kenny for advice. - only to find the two blondes both have feelings for Cartman. Half written in my notebook (mature)._

_3 - **Super Hero** - Set when the boys are in their early teens. Cartman has to contend with neglect at home, friends who don't care and newly developing superpowers. Not as lame as it sounds - the superpowers are explained using real SP universe back-story. Story takes place over a limited number of days, I've already written the first day (not slash, unless I'm persuaded otherwise)._

_4 - **Leaving** - Cartman has finally found a way to get out of South Park and away from all the vile taunts he's had to put up with all his life. Just as he's about to leave, someone surprising declares their feelings for him. First chapter is written, to give me a taste of the story (M or T I haven't decided yet. Kyman, naturally)._

_5 - **Meeting In The Aisle** - A sequel of sorts to The Contest but set a few years later. His mother's obsession with having grandchildren has kept an unhappy Ike firmly in the closet. He intends to keep it that way until he sees a cute guy at Eric and Kyle's commitment ceremony. Some notes and most of one chapter written (mild slash T rating and yes the title is taken from a Radiohead song)._

_I also have ideas for some one-shots running around in my head and other long stories I haven't even made notes on yet._

_I'm not conducting a poll or anything lame like that. In the end I will probably write the story that most interests me next. That been said, I would like to hear your thoughts on the ideas._

_I have this same list posted as a journal entry on dA so you can respond there or by review here or you can PM me if you have a FF account._

_Kyman love and hugs to everyone who has read and enjoyed this story. Thanks to all the reviewers - especially the ones who've been there from the beginning. I was going to make a list but there's just too many reviews for me to work through (not that I'm complaining [lol]). If you've been following this story for a while, maybe you've favourited this story or me as an author, I hope that you'll also read my next South Park story._

_cell12._


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